Chapter Ten

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The bell rang and I walked out of the room into the falling snow outside. The second semester had begun for almost two weeks now and the campus was once again alive with students and lecturers. The only difference was we were all dressed up in our winter finest. It seems winter ended in March not January so this semester started off the way my heart had felt ever since that day in the bathroom with Danny - harsh, cold, and with no light. The last days of the holidays passed without me even noticing as I spent it indoors while I was drowning in my thoughts and by the end of it all I had concluded not to talk to Danny again - no matter what. I had convinced myself that he hated me, he didn't want to see me, our friendship was beyond repair and I  should just stay to myself. 

And that was what I did despite all the evidence to the contrary. Danny called me nearly daily after he left but I didn't pick up nor did I listen to the mountains of voicemails he left. He returned to campus like everyone else on the Saturday before class started and he spent 30 minutes banging my door until the Dorm monitor had to move him. He attempted to sit beside me in Calculus but I got a seat exchange. He came to my jobs so much that I asked for positions that meant I wouldn't have to interact with the customers personally, so Mrs. Harrison put me in the archives and I started assisting in the kitchens at Sweet Scents and even now after two weeks when I walked across campus I kept on high alert like a terrorist being watched by spies because I didn't know when I would run into him and I was determined to avoid him. I was even waking up earlier the last two weekends so we wouldn't meet up in the small laundromat on our floor. 

'Nobody cares and you deserve to be alone' was etched into my mind now and I was determined not to let anyone in ever again. Despite all this mental anguish, I smiled and laughed with the people I worked with and the classmates I interacted with. No one saw through the veneer only Dany ever did and that made it even more paramount I stay away from him. The situation would never be resolved and I should avoid another confrontation like that. I sped down the path walk and entered the library for my shift. I exchanged greetings with Mrs. H, hung up my coats in my locker, grabbed my clipboard and earphones, and slipped into the archives.

An archive is exactly what it sounded like - a huge room filled with shelves from floor to ceiling just like the main library but these books were way older and had to be kept out of public viewing or touching. Just to give you an idea there were essays and papers in that room written by Isaac Newton. The stuff was priceless. My job was just to catalog them and to describe their physical condition in case any were deteriorating and needed to be restored. I loved it here, it was just me and my music and I was free from my thoughts for a while, so I turned on my playlist and went to work. Naturally being alone, I sang out loud to the songs as they played. I had a nice singing voice but my mom and others back home always said I sounded like a girl so I never sang in front of others, only when I was alone. The only thing was I was not alone this time. After an hour had passed I was so lost in the songs that I didn't hear when Mrs. H came in or that she had been calling me. It was only when she touched me on my shoulder and I yelled in fright that I knew she was there.

"Don't do that Mrs. H," I wheezed trying to regain my composure, "when did you get in here?"

"A few minutes now," she replied chuckling a bit no doubt from my frightened yells, "I couldn't find you but I followed your voice. You can sing boy. Wow."

"It's nothing," I snapped out not angrily but self-consciously. I didn't want to be judged.

"Modest as ever," she said with a hint of respect, "You are so talented in so many areas but you stay humble. I love that." I mumbled my gratitude, thankful that for once someone was giving me a little praise instead of criticism even though I didn't usually like getting praise, but accepting it once isn't so bad. "Sorry for startling you but there's someone here to see you."

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