5 Year Love

2017

The years kind of bleed into each other. This whole on and off thing went on for a whole year before we tried to "settle down".

I met a guy. Through a friend of a friend, i met a guy who was nothing special, completely different from you. And we made out a few times. I was just trying to make you jealous. It worked. You got more aggressive with the red head. She figured out you were just using her and she told you she was better than that. She told you to choose between me and her. You couldn't choose.

She left you. I should have too.

Your best friend had a friend interested in you too, no surprise here. She had everything I wished i had, physically. I was flat as a wall and she had curves. It was a bigger blow to my self esteem.

I caught you two about to have sex. That was possibly my lowest point that year. I caught you in the middle of that and I still stayed. I thought i loved you and it was enough to make our relationship work. It wasn't.

Eventually your mom talked some sense into you. She made you realize how much you were hurting me and that other girls weren't going to take the pain away. We had to face the facts, i had cheated and we were both hurt. Getting back at each other was childish.

I saw something online that to get a guy to realize your worth, you should go days without talking to him and he'd either realize he needs your or you'd realize your better without him.

I tried to go a few days without contacting you in anyway/shape/form. I couldn't do it. Multiple times i would give in. This was sophomore year, i remember because I had two friends who tried to help me through this. And another who did help me through it.

Even though i failed at staying away from you, it made you realize that i did so much for you and you wanted me in your life. Im not sure what changed or what made you realize this. But we got back together and it felt different. It was nice for some time. We tried to be better for each other.

I went out of the country on vacation and my cousins tried to tell me to get away from you, i didn't listen. We were happy.