VILE

Chapter 35: The Present

As Tomike drove into the parking lot, she sighed. Another Saturday evening to waste at Dr Angela's office. This was her third session with the woman and she wasn't sure of any improvement.

She still had issues with Dayo, she still had nightmares, she still had an alcohol and smoking problem, she still had a lot of things she wasn't supposed to still have.

Todd had paid for three sessions and promised if she wasn't feeling it, he'd never speak of it again. Well, she wasn't feeling it. Plus the woman was way too expensive. As a typical Nigeria girl with some Igbo in her blood she couldn't help but think up all the things she could do with the money he was wasting on a shrink.

Going to Angela's office made her feel good, she couldn't deny that. For those thirty minutes or so she had moments of peace. Plus the lady was very friendly and nice, but that was the least she could do having being paid such ridiculous amounts.

As she walked into the reception, the receptionist, Freda, greeted her and asked her to wait a while until Angela was done with someone else.

A few moments later, she was called to enter the office.

"Hello Tomike" Angela was smiling as usual.

"Hi there Dr Angela"

The two sat down adjacent each other.

"Black coffee?"

"You know it"

"Alright then Tomike. So far I've been getting to know you. Your background, where you lived growing up, pretty much everything. But today we'll be moving on to a more serious topic"

Tomike could tell where she was going with this conversation, Angela's sudden change in tone and facial expression was enough to tell. The past two sessions had just been about random stuff in her life. It was almost as if Angela was avoiding subjects concerning her abuse purposely and now she understood why.

"You were sexually abused at a young age, am I correct?"

"Yes"

"Who was your abuser to you?"

"My stepfather"

"When did the abuse start? When did your step father start hurting you?"

Tomike swallowed hard as she adjusted uncomfortably on the once very comfortable couch.

"I was about eleven or so. I can't really remember now"

"Okay, how did it happen?"

"I was in my room one day, he came back drunk. I... was just there and he came in and...  raped me" Tomike spat.

Angela suprisingly wasn't so shocked. Tomike was sure she heard stories like her's everyday, nothing special.

"What did you feel after it happened?"

Tomike chuckled in a very sarcastic manner.

"What do you think I felt doctor? Of course I wasn't exactly happy about it" She wasn't her friend, she didn't have to know what she felt. She was just a woman who was paid to nose into people's lives.

"Of course you weren't. Did you tell anyone?"

"No"

"Why? Were you scared, afraid"

"Maybe"

"Before that day had he ever been violent with you, or tried to assault you?"

"He was always violent with me, he beat me up often, but nothing sexual"

"So that was the first attempt he made at sexualy assaulting you?"

"Yes Doctor"

"How long did the abuse happen?"

"A.. little.. over four years"

Angela jotted down on her notes and it upset Tomike. Who was she to make notes about her abuse.

"How often did it happen?"

"Quite frankly I don't remember. Almost everyday, maybe? But then he had a girlfriend for a time so he stopped"

"Did he continue after that?"

"Yeah, when she got pregnant"

"Okay" she dropped her note on the dwarf table that stood between them and crossed her legs.

"You as a person, how do you think this abuse has affected you?"

"Not sure, but it messed me up real good. I have insomnia, I get nightmares, I don't trust easily and you can say I have anger issues"

"I understand you had a child as a result of this abuse. What's his name?"

"Dayo"

"How old is he?"

"Sixteen in two months"

"How do you feel about Dayo"

"Sorry" Tomike said almost in a whisper.

"Pardon?"

"I said I feel sorry for him"

"Why?"

"His father is a child rapist, his mother hates him because of that, but he has no idea whatsoever why that is so"

"Hmm interesting. So you hate your son?"

"No, no I don't hate him. But in his head he thinks I do. I'm just not doing too well raising him. He reminds me of his father and it upsets me and so..."

"And so you transfer all the aggression you feel for his father on him"

"Pretty much"

"Why haven't you told Dayo about his father? Are you trying to protect him from the pain that he'll feel when he discovers he was conceived in such a manner?"

"Okay, hold up. What exactly are you trying to achieve by asking all these questions"

"Well Tomike it's important I ask these questions, so I know how to help you"

"Help me" Tomike said more to herself than to Angela.

"I've lived a pretty good life until now without a shrink's help Angela, I'm pretty sure I'll be fine without you and your questions.

See a therapist they said, it'll help you they said. Well I came,and now I've lost interest. So, I'll be on my way"

Tomike stood to leave. She would not sit there and be questioned like a criminal. She'd figure it out on her own, she always did.

"Tomike please don't leave okay? This session is not yet over" Angela's attempt was futile in stopping Tomike. As she held the door knob, Angela stood and tried one more time to convince her.

"Tomike. Maybe there is no way to empty your head of all the memories, but you can empty your heart of all that pain. It's going to be a long process and I just want to help. Help me help you Tomike"

Tomike paused for a moment, as if thinking of what she said, but then she left.

                     **********

I won't even lie, writing this chapter was a bit difficult, but I did it. As bonus for uploading late this week, another chapter follows this one. I hope you love them both. Please don't forget to vote, comment what you think and share to everyone you know. It'll mean a lot.
Xoxo💓
Val💕💕