❝ Tell me about the girl you are inlove with. I want to know what she's like.❞
Seasons change, and so does feelings. A story in
which the wrong path could possibly lead to the right one.
And for her, Lee Donghyuck, was a mixture of everything that...
It was amusing. Truly amusing because things weren't making any sense for Ayeon; not sure how things came to be and that she could only release a bitter laugh.
Few weeks back, Ayeon finally came back to the city and immediately visited her boyfriend, wanting to surprise him. But instead, she was baffled.
After almost 2 weeks without seeing each other, the young woman had expected him to be exuberant and clingy, just like always. However, contrary to that, Hyuck seemed rather odd and distracted. One moment he was actively listening to her, then moments later, he'd spaced out. It saddened Ayeon. She was so enthusiastic, spilling him how her holiday went and ask him how he was in return. But as though he had little to almost no care at all.
It was on a chilly Thursday in a cafe when Ayeon disclosed everything that she had bottled up. She needed someone to talk to or else it would be too much for her to conceal and cope up with.
"It's quite funny how he often has a lot to say but never really opened himself to me." Ayeon laughed bitterly, shaking her head.
For a whole month, Lee Donghyuck had been distant. He had been that way since last December even when things seemed to be going well for them. Ayeon did not fail to sense that and it was driving her crazy. He would always brush her worries off by answering that everything is fine and all good, even giving her a smile to assure her. But that never gave Ayeon peace. Instead, she felt like he was keeping her in the dark and it pains her. It keeps her up at night.
The young man was her first boyfriend, and thus, she was still a bit clueless regarding how relationships work. Even so, she had always firmly believed that there should be a strong communication between the two. Sadly, with how the things are between them that connection seems quite unstable.
"It was always like he was going with the flow and didn't like when things get too deep and emotional. He'd step back. It was like I only know what's on the surface, but never beneath it," Ayeon hesitated, taking a deep breath as she thought of what words to use. "He isn't reserved whenever he talks to you, guys. You all know his story. But me? Her girlfriend? Barely knows anything about him other than his witty remarks, and it's quite frustrating, honestly."
"Maybe he's worried. Maybe he's worried that you won't love him the way you do once he really opens up."
"I love him more than myself. I love him too much. Too close," Ayeon paused, breaking their eye contact and on to the empty streets instead.
The way Jaemin was staring at her intently, full of concern and love.
Her heart started to thump rapidly.
Wait what?
And love?
Scratch that.
Definitely scratch that.
Ayeon felt like she was badly missing how things were that she was seeing things already.
Nope, Jaemin was just being attentive. Yup, that's it. He's being attentive.
And for the second time that day, Ayeon could only laugh bitterly thinking how it seemed she was making herself believe a lie once again.
She turned her head and met his soft eyes once again. It calmed her heart down.
But it was still too much for her. It reminded her of the way Donghyuck looks at her. Or more precisely, the way he used to look at her.
The thought of Donghyuck pulled her emotions into a mix once again.
"There are too many uncertainties," Ayeon's voice broke as she attempted to suppress herself from breaking down. "It's too terrifying because I keep on falling and falling and there is no assurance that he's still down there waiting for me."
Holding back a sob, Ayeon's throat started to burn and feel itchy. She shut her eyes as tears flooded her vision, not wanting it to roll down her cheeks. Unfortunately, it did. She couldn't hold it back anymore. The push and pull Donghyuck has been giving was consuming her. It has been that way ever since their finals last December.
For a whole month she kept it all inside and just let things be. Turning a blind eye, she went with the flow and did not once question Donghyuck because she did know he loves him. However, with how things are doing between them she was not so sure anymore.
During New year, Saeri and Jaemin both managed to call and greet her on their own. Donghyuck? Well, He was once again late, just like how things went during Christmas. Ayeon had tried calling her but his phone was just out of reach.
Their relationship seemed going downhill and she could only think of how to save what could be saved.
The pain of Ayeon being with Donghyuck was more than he could handle. But seeing her was hunched over crying her heart out over him was painfully difficult and it broke his heart to pieces.
Jaemin loves her, that was his most kept secret.
He loved her the moment they first met. It only took 3 seconds of eye contact and a smile before he found himself on the verge of falling.
He loved her then. He loves her now.
He loves her the way the moon loves the sun, from afar.
The moon would always run after the sun but couldn't ever catch up. And just like the moon, he would always be too late.
He wanted to reach out to her and care for her. To offer and give her all the love he could muster so that he wouldn't be ever feeling that way again. But who was he to even begin with?
It guilts him. It guilts him too much, the way he has been feeling. He shouldn't be feeling that way, but he was. He had always learned how to control himself but everyday was a struggle.
The more he looked at her, the more uncertain he was of what to say as he didn't know much of their story other than the few moments he's been with them.
But he did know that he wanted to be there for her. And so, with the last bit of strength that he has, he stood up and sat beside her. He let Ayeon cry on to him and soak his shirt.
And for a few hours, the two stayed like that. He didn't mind, not even a bit.
Ayeon's face was buried on Jaemin's chest, letting everything out as the boy gently drew circles on her back, comforting her.
Lastly, the most amusing thing of all was how crazy the whole situation was. One was releasing their pain while the other was struggling so hard to mask and bury it all deep inside.
Nobody knows it has been eating them up all this time.
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Decided to put dates just like in my "come home" book so that it wouldn't be too confusing.
with that said, i wrote this part the way i wrote my hyunjin book. for the reason that, i would like to express my gratitude to everyone who read that book. it hit over 44k reads and i am truly thankful for each one.
