HELIOTROPE ↻ NCT DREAM

twenty-four

Donghyuck isn't an open book. However, no matter how hard he tried to act like everything's fine, anyone around him could sense how stressed and puzzled he was.

This alarmed his friends, especially his girlfriend.

The first time Ayeon attempted to open the topic, he brushed it off and disregarded her question as though it didn't escape Ayeon's mouth.

She let him. 

If Donghyuck didn't want to talk about it just yet, then she'd have to understand that. Stepping over the boundary was the last thing Ayeon wanted. 

However, as the couple avoided the topic on the following days, it only made Ayeon more worried for him. And so, that night as Hyuck walked her home, she tried again.

Their hands were hanging by their sides quite close as they walked on. She wanted to hold his hand, and feel his warmth.

For a second, Ayeon hesitated. She was afraid something would happen.

Halting her steps, eyes boring straight into his, "is there something you want to tell me?" Her voice was soft and full of concern, despite the growing itch in her throat.

The boy looked at him quizically, shaking his head, "no. No. Everything is good."

Ayeon raised her brows and squeezed Hyuck's hand, assuring him that he could talk to her.

Instead, Hyuck only mirrored her action, and searched her eyes.

For some reason  Ayeon felt uneasy under his gaze. Clearing her throat as she broke the contact, "Are you sure?"

Hyuck only gave her a tight smile as he fixed Ayeon's scarf. "It's getting late. Let's get you home."

Despite Hyuck's weird behavior, that did not stop Ayeon from being there for him.

At times when Hyuck would be stressed out over his school requirements, the young woman would be there in his apartment cooking food for them. 

Yup, including for his roommate.

She wanted to make sure that he wasn't skipping meals, and knowing how exhausted he was over the things he wasn't telling her, she knew he would be too drained to cook for himself.

It was that midnight when Ayeon slowly tiptoed towards the topic. She was feeding Donghyuck while he continued doing his work on his computer.

Ayeon took a deep breath as she mixed the bibimbap she made for him, "how are things? Are you okay?"

He hummed in return. 

"Yup…" Hyuck dragged on, disinterested. He was getting annoyed at the question. It was obvious that he didn't want to talk about it but she keeps on pressing on.

The girl wasn't satisfied with his answer. She was concerned about him. And so, she tried to push it on just a little, "but are you really tho-"

"How many times do I have to tell you that I'm okay, that everything is fine!" 

His outburst made her flinched. It was her first time hearing Hyuck raise his voice. She was frozen in her spot, not knowing what to do.

The couple sat there infront of Donghyuck's computer quietly. But this time, it was the silence that was terrifying to break. Ayeon's heartbeat thumping loud. The situation they were in, made her want to cry and realize that it was her fault; how she messed up.

All Ayeon wanted was to let Hyuck know that she was there for him, that she could be someobe who he could lean to and open up to, someone who could listen to him. But Hyuck took her actions differently.

Not wanting to worsen the situation, she decided to leave and give him space. They have been getting into these type of arguments lately. It was obvious that Hyuck was hiding something from her, but it seems that he never plans on telling whatever it was. 

It was draining them both.

An exaperated sigh left Donghyuck's lips,"look, I'm sorry, okay?"

He tried to reach out to enclose her in a hug. But Ayeon shook her head and pushed him away with the little strength that she has, not trusting her voice.

Slowly, Ayeon placed the bowl of food down on his desk, head downwards as her eyes filled unshed tears, not wanting to meet Hyuck's eyes. "I'll get going now." She croaked out.

The boy's head snapped towards her direction. "At this hour? It's almost one in the morning!"

She nodded, adamant on leaving, despite the growing pain she felt on the bottom of her stomach. "I could manage." 

As soon as she stood up, she almost fell down just as quickly. The pain worsened, but she knew she had to get out of there. She had to get out of there before everything else that they had built and protected falls down.

Within a minute, Ayeon was finally out the door, leaving Hyuck eyeing the door with mixed emotions, but mostly frustration.

The distance between them getting bigger and bigger. But Ayeon wasn't the one to give up on something she had invested from, and that was their relationship. 

Ayeon was aware that she was in denial, because deep in her, she already knew she lost the battle. But that wouldn't stop her from saving what could be saved and hold on to the little hope that she has.