Iridescent

27| The Margin of Error and Almost Spitting Out My Coffee

"You should trust in Vel. And yes, that is how I heard it."

"I'm not asking about that," he let the throw fall off his shoulders as he stood gingerly. "I'm asking if you know what they... what your people are doing?"

I held my anger. "I don't know if the people who threatened Vel were my type of people. There's a lot of things I don't know about. Maybe... maybe there are people like us who are..." the next part hurt me to say it "violent, cruel in their ways. All I know and the only answer I can give you right now is that... me, my parents, the people I know who hold the Weapons of Iridescent would never... never hurt anyone the way these people hurt Vel."

Jaxton held my gaze; a distinct, hard stare. I challenged back with my own.

"Cass, I..."

"I know. You don't completely trust me and — believe it or not — I can understand." I turned away to hide my face. My voice was quiet. "You know more about me than I know about you. I don't know what you do or what you've found out about Robin. I want to know since this seems to be relevant to Iridescent and all." I stifled a weak laugh. "I might have been offended if you said that to the Cassandra who just began her studies at the Phoenix Academy, but... right now, even I don't know if I can trust my own kind."

Jaxton came closer, his glance softened and he was gazing at me tenderly, as though afraid it'll hurt me. "I shouldn't have phrased the question that way. There will be good and bad people, regardless of what kind."

'You know how dangerous they are?'

'If any of you see anyone like that, the first thing you gotta do is run like hell!'

'In memory of those who died in the Dark Times.'

"Newly wedded couple... 'I don't know how I can go on without him'"

"I used to think that too," I glanced over my shoulder, turning slightly to look at him with a bitter smile. "But maybe... maybe..."

"Maybe what I've been taught all my life is wrong," he grabbed my arms and held me, forcing my attention to grow alert. "Cass, ever since I've met you, you made me question everything I've ever believed in and... I can't say it's in a bad way."

I blinked. "I... can say the same. I'm not confident anymore. As I said, maybe people who hold Iridescent want to use violent ways to rebel. Maybe they think there is only one way to make things right. Maybe there is only one way..."

Gently, slowly, I pushed his hand off my arm. "Thanks for everything, Jaxton. You're exhausted, you should get some rest."

He shook his head. "We're not doing this again, Cass."

"Do what?"

"Last time, when we talked about this. You told me to leave and I just left without talking things through. I'm not leaving this time."

I swallowed. The Jaxton I'm seeing right now was not the Jaxton I first saw when he saved me from Lambert. The boy peeking through the cracks. The boy shielding the walls from me. No. This was Jaxton standing in the sun.

There was a comforting warmth in my chest but it wasn't enough to wash away the sudden sadness that flooded me.

"Alright," I said quietly, relenting. I shuffled to a nearby couch, sunk my body into it. Jaxton sat next to me, our arms were touching but we both didn't seem to mind. He draped the throw on my shoulder and I accepted his gesture with silence. All this was making me more overwhelmed than usual.

"It's a Comfort Blanket," he started, in his soothing voice. "Apparently, it makes you feel better."

I allowed a small smile to bloom on my face. I snuggled further into the couch and leaned my head back. "Will you see me differently? After today?"