Save me (BTS X DEPRESSED READER) SLOW UPDATES!!!!

Chapter 24

As we head our separate ways, me Mingi and San were off again fucking around. This time instead of it just being us three messing around, the others joined in on the fun. We kept running around and hitting each other as well as making jokes all the way to the van.

I was being extra careful though because of my arm. I didn't want to bleed again and not have a way to cover it up as well as treat them. Hongjoong noticed how careful I was being and decided to walk up to me and say something. "You okay?" He asks me concerned. I just nod. "Yea I'm just trying to be careful don't worry about me" I said, trying to relieve his stress. I felt bad that he always worry about me. Same with mingi. He doesn't show it that much but he's always eyeing me and checking up on me when my back is turned. I can tell that he worries about me as well. I don't want them to worry about me though...it makes me feel like I'm stressing them out and I feel bad about that.

I began to distant myself from the others and was walking a little bit away from the group to think and just because it's a habit of me separating myself from others. I looked at my feet and continued walking and thinking about things I shouldn't.
Though this was fun and all, I think my happiness and social battery ran out a little bit ago. I just want to go home and disappear for the next week. I hate my depressive episodes. They always come at the worse times. When I'm having fun or doing something I like is when I just feel drained of energy and start to think of negative thoughts as well as want to self harm myself. I just lose motivation to do anything. Even talking feels like a drag to do. Moving one limb feels like to much. I just want to lay down and listen to music while I cry. I just want to lay down and disappear into a dark hole, never to be found again. Sounds amazing right now. Crying sounds amazing right now.

I kept looking at my feet and began to space out again, not realizing we were at the van yet. "Y/n! The vans right here" I heard Yeosang say to me. I quickly lift my head to see I'm a good distance away from the van. "Oh shit sorry" I said as I quickly run to the van.  "Sorry..." I mumbled as I climbed into the van.

As chosen, San and wooyoung sat next to me. San sat by the window and I sat in the middle as wooyoung sat next to me. The others sat wherever and seonghwa was driving again.

The car was again loud and filled with laughter and singing as we were jamming out to random things. I was trying my best to seem happy and not bring down the mood. I kept on smiling but didn't partake into the singing like the others. Most of the time my smile was fake to make me seem okay but every once in a while a real smile creeped up on my face.

About ten minutes later, we arrived at their dorm. We stayed in the van for a minute to finish the song "there for I am" by Billie eilish. Even though they didn't understand the song that well it was still a good song. After the song finished, we all got out of the van and headed to the door. I grabbed my bag and I made sure to bring my phone with me as well. Who knows how long we'll be here.

As we walk through the door, I felt a tap on my shoulder. "Hey do you want to take a shower and change? I bet your sweating up a storm in that since your wearing long sleeves and black. Would you like to change into something else? Or something you bought?" Hongjoong asks me. I just shrug. He's not wrong though, I'm really hot and sweaty. "I uh i don't know." I reply. "Would you like a hoodie and sweatpants to wear?" He asks, reading the look on my face. I nod. "Yea...if that's okay..." I said quietly, still being depressed but still not showing it. The other guys have already went to their room and started changing or whatever and me and Hongjoong went to him and seonghwa's room.

Hongjoong knocks on the door and seonghwa opens the door as he's putting on a shirt. "Oh it's just you two" he says as he opens the door wider for both of us to enter. "Thanks" Hongjoong says as we both enter. I just sit on the bed while Hongjoong goes into what I assume is their closet. Seonghwa soon follows assuming he needs to finish changing.