Save me (BTS X DEPRESSED READER) SLOW UPDATES!!!!

chapter 6

Y/Ns POV

I begin to wake up but feel my waist being held by someone and my face buried into someone's chest. I panic and quickly try to get up but the person just graps on to me tighter. I try to pry their hands off but couldn't. Then I hear a groan. I look up at the figure only to realize it's yoongi and not some complete stranger. "Hey you okay?" I hear him say. I look up at him to see him sitting up next to me. "Y-yEa why" I ask. "You sure? Your crying. It doesn't seem like your fine." He replied. Shit I didn't realize I was crying...not again...why am I so stupid why can't I just not cry. Why am I even Alive....I was zoned out again until yoongi started to wipe my tears and pulled me into a hug. "Shhh it's okay your okay everything is okay. okay?" He said and I nodded. I didn't realize I was bawling my eyes out again...or that there were six pairs of eyes on me.

I break the hug with yoongi and wipe my eyes and face. As I look up I see all the boys looking at me and then I was engulfed into a group hug. Is this what it's like to be loved? Or have a real family? But I know it won't last forever....I wish it could but my dad would find them and kill them...just because he wanted to...as much as I want to live here with them I can't...my dad would find me and take me back home and hurt them....so I guess I'll run away tonight when everyone is asleep. I don't know where I'm going to go but anywhere is better than Korea...maybe japan or the United States. I could move to L.A or New York maybe even pursue my dream of being an actress or singer. As much as I want to be a kpop idol, that would be to close to my so call father. He would break into the company or something and take me and torches me...but for now I think I'm going to go to busan and stay there for a week or so...then I'll leave to the US or Japan. I got snapped out of my thoughts when Namjoon started to shake me slightly. "Did you hear us?" He asked. I shook my head. "I said wash up, Jins making breakfast" he said then smile. I nodded and he and the rest of the guys left the room. I sighed knowing I won't be able to eat it without getting sick but I couldn't tell them that. I get up and look for my duffel bag. I look around the room and then realize it's in the bathroom. I walk into the bathroom and look at myself in the mirror. Wow how can someone be so ugly? Be so fat? Be so stupid? Be such a mistake? A killer of her own mother? Disrespectful little bitch? A slut? A whore? Why are you still alive? Why don't you take a swine dive off a roof and end it all? Why can't you just over dose and cut so deep where you just die? Why can't you?

You run to your duffel bag and find you box of blades.

One cut...

Two cut...

Three...

Four....

Five....

Ten....

Twelve...

Twelve new cuts....that's it? Keep going

Twenty....

Thirty....

Forty....

Fifty....

After getting really dizzy I decided to stop. I take out my bandages and begin to clean up my cuts and bandage them. After I finish I take some pain pills and change into a black hoodie and black ripped jeans and just in case a black long sleeved shirt under my hoodie. I pick up my bag and bring it into the other room and toss it on the bed. There was a knock at the door so I opened it. "Hey breakfast is ready" Jimin I think said and smiled. I nodded and followed him into the kitchen. There were pancakes, bacon, eggs and hush browns. It look so good but I knew I wouldn't be able to eat it...

all the boys look at me as I walk in and taehyung motions me to sit next to him and yoongi so I do. Everyone starts to grab food and talking. Taehyung, Jimin, and Jungkook began to argue about god know what. Jin and Namjoon were just shaking there head in disappointment then continued To eat. Suga was slowly falling asleep and J-Hope was trying to stop the three from arguing and being all positive and happy...ew. Don't get me wrong I like J-Hope but like...he spreads to much positivity. Since I couldn't eat I kinda just sat there awkwardly fiddling with my fingers. Yoongi noticed I wasn't eating and started to question me. "You okay?" He asked I nod. "Why aren't You eating ?" He asks and everyone stops what they're doing and looks up at me. "Is my cooking bad?" Jin asks. I shake my head. "No no it's good." I say hoping I did hurt his feelings. "Then why aren't you eating?" Jimin asks. "I-I'm not h-hungry." I lied. Everyone looks at me with a 'I-don't-believe-you'. I coward-down into my seat a bit. "Are you sure your not hungry? If you want something else I can make you something else" I shake my head. "I'm sure I-I'm just n-not hungry t-that's all" I say. He nods. After that everyone finished up their breakfast and began to clean up the mess.

I put my unused plate up and sneak back to my room. I grab my phone and headphones and a little bag I have and filled it with my cigarettes and lighter as well as my vape and money and blades. As I walk out of my room towards the door to leave I get stooped by yoongi.

"Where are you going?" He asked. "Out for a walk. Why do you care" I said coldly. "Just a walk? Not to run away? What's In your bag right there?" He asks pointing to my little bag on my back. "I just want to walk around rather than be cooped up in a house of strangers and why do you care your not my mom" I said bluntly. He sighed. "Okay at least let one of us go with you" he said I shook my head. "No" I replied. "And why not?" he questioned. "Because I don't want some stalker following me around. " I said. He just sighed again. "At least let me give you our numbers so if something happens you can call us." He said and gestured me to hand him my phone. I shook my head. "No need I couldn't text you if I wanted to my phone isn't activated not that it needs to be I don't have friends or anything so it's not active."

I said and turn around and walk out the front door. As i walk out yoongi starts to call me. I decided it would be better to run at this point so i do. Soon after, Yoongi starts to run after me as well but gives up after a while.