"Both of our lives we're upside down; up in flames. Crossing paths made everything even more complicated and life went up in flames once again.
It just was in a positive kind of way."
[9-1-1 season 1 -?]
eddie diazxoc
a ❝chasing happiness❞ book
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New firefighters tend to carry the guilt of losing someone longer than veteran firefighters. It's usually because they're still in the process of learning how to properly deal with the weight job. And sometimes, even some of the most capable firefighters that have been in the game for long have a hard time dealing with the emotions and the guilt.
Laura Santos can't lie and say she never had a hard time managing her emotions while in the job and when she lost someone. It's part of what makes them human. But she learned how to detach herself from those feeling very early in the game.
Evan Buckley was fairly new at the job and was still in the process of settling in. he's always been the optimistic and joker of the bunch, while getting used to the new responsibilities. But he's never lost someone.
Until now.
It was a freak accident on a rollercoaster, and the guy was hanging out of it upside down. He was really paranoid and freaking out, and he couldn't take it anymore. And in a moment of shock and panic, he let go, slipping right through Buck's fingers.
It seemed to have struck Buck really hard—he's been distant and out of touch with the house. And also, he's trying hard not to talk about his feeling with the older firefighters. Which is concerning, and Laura is getting really worried about him.
Laura placed a plate of food in front of Buck, lunch time coming faster than expected. The young man sent her a look, which she responded with almost a scolding one. "I'm not hungry."
"This is America, Buckaroo. Eating has nothing to do with being hungry," Chimney answered from his spot beside Cap.
"Man, I was right there. You know, all he had to do was reach up and grab my hand," Buck said, throwing his head back. Laura passed behind him and ran a hand through his neck. It was not weird between either of them—in the short time they've known each other, Laura and Buck have become really close.
"People do funny things at times like that." Chim sat down in front of Buck. "Sometimes they just freeze up."
Laura sat down to Buck right and smiled sadly at him. "I've never lost anyone before." he looked at Laura and then at the two other men there. "Does it get easier?"
"No, never," Laura answered, tying her hair into a new ponytail.
"Look, people die, and that's part of the gig, right?" Chimney leans forward, placing his elbows on the table. "See, your problem is, you're looking at every job like it's a long-term relationship. They're one-night stand, man." Laura rolled her eyes at the ridiculous, but accurate, comparison. "In that moment, they mean everything to you, but once the morning comes... it's on to the next one."
"Hey," Hen's voice came from the stairs. Their heads turn to look at her and Laura saw she was accompanied by two cops, one she's seen before. "You guys don't mind; I brought some company to family dinner."
