Jamais Vu

Fear

"Is Ara okay? She seemed kinda down. She smells kind of sour like she's sad" Hobi whispers to Jimin later at work that night.

Jimin looks over at Ara and sighs. He knows she's sad and just feels like it's because of Yoongi but doesn't know why. He doesn't hear her thoughts, per se, but he gets certain vibes that help him guess.

Tae had filled in everyone before they left for work, and nobody seemed too upset about it, except for Yoongi.

Jungkook seemed upset cus he's confused himself on his feelings but once reassured that doesn't mean he lost a chance, he cheered up.

Nobody knows why Yoongi is suddenly cold towards Ara ever since this morning. Considering he helped her first in his heat as he was filled in,  thanks to his triggering it to go full blown, he's at a loss.

"Yeah, her and Yoongi hyung are fighting"

"Yoongi hyung? Fighting? That's unusual" Hobi looks as confused as everyone else. "Will she be okay?"

"She's tougher than she looks, i'm sure she will figure out what's wrong in no time"

--

Back at home, Yoongi listens for the door to close, signaling mostly everyone left for work, leaving him and 2 of the Maknae's at home alone.

He pads out to the kitchen to reheat dinner since he skipped it when he's interrupted by the lion.

"Hyung?" He calls out, making Yoongi grit his teeth. He doesn't want to talk about it. He wants time to figure out his own feelings on his own terms.

"What do you want, Tae?" Yoongi's tail swishes, flicking harshly to show his agitation.

"What happened? Ara seemed so heartbroken when she left your room"

Yoongi knows he was harsh. He smelled the sour smell spiking on her as soon as he said what he did.

"We talked and i was honest" Yoongi says simply, wishing he could will the food to warm up faster.

"You.. don't like Ara that way?"

Yoongi turns, his cat like eyes piercing into the lion's.

"Do you?"

Tae looks taken back by the question and turns his gaze away.

"That's what i thought. So until you know how you feel, don't force others to make a decision so rashly just because Jimin fucked up" Yoongi snaps, grabbing his half warm food and walking to his room, slamming the door.

Yoongi sits the food on his desk, completely forgotten now and plops in his chair, putting his headphones and trying to focus on work.

His mind wanders, making work impossible.

Yoongi has never had feelings for anyone. The only person he ever loved, in any form was his eomma. Until he met Namjoon and learned somewhat what friendship love was like, what platonic love was like.

He never stayed in one spot too long, never could with the work he did for his pack.

He killed people. Some innocent, some not, just to stay alive and fed. He has blood of children, women, men of various hybrids on his hands.

Sure, some could argue he was forced to because he had to listen to his alpha. The truth is, Yoongi hated hurting any of them and they all still haunt his dreams every night.

Does he love Ara? He isn't sure. He isn't sure what love is. Romantic love is a notion he never thought capable of.

Why get her hopes up of more if he isn't even sure if he's capable of it?

Yoongi thinks back to the night a couple days ago, in the hotel room.

Ara certainly wasn't the first female he's been with in any form. He's had enough partners to know what he's doing, but something about the trust she showed him that night, how responsive she was, made Yoongi feel.... something. What that is, he isn't sure.

All he knows is  feelings lead to you getting hurt when they eventually leave you, because they always do.

Yoongi picks up his food and picks at it absentmindedly as he thinks.

Bonding with someone is permanent. You don't go back from that. Losing that person, well in the end it can kill you with grief. He's seen it first hand in the victims he's killed.

Is he really ready for that chance of losing someone he cares about again? He isn't guaranteed she would stay, or if he is even what she wants.

Yoongi doesn't have much to offer her, he barely has anything to offer the pack right now.

Truth is, deep down Yoongi is scared to think about what Ara could mean.

He sighs and gives up on the food he's barely touched, throwing it away and going back out to wash his bowl.

--

Ara pushes aside the pain she feels at the rejection. She knows she has no right, after all she never told Yoongi she felt different after their night together, nor did she ask him if he felt anything.

"Ara? Hello~" Hobi leans over so his face appears in her vision.  "Just call him"

Ara snaps out of it and looks over at Hobi then at the beer she forgot she was supposed to be pouring.

"What if he doesn't answer?"  She frowns, pouring the beers and handing them to the customers.

"He will, i know he will" Hobi winks. Ara raises her eyebrow.

"What did you do?"

"Nothing~ oh look it's breaktime. Later!"  He skips off before Ara can reply.

She pulls out her phone while it's slow, dialing Yoongi's number.

"Hello?" The deep voice rumbles through the phone.

"You hurt me." She states simply, silently smacking herself. That was smooth, so smooth.

"Come again?" The voice mumbles before it comes back seconds later. "Ara?"

"I meant to say that smoother.." she starts, her face flushing in embarassment. "Why.. why don't you want me? Why is it only me who wants?"

"Ara.. we are not discussing this on the phone. We will discuss this another time when we both are not at work" Yoongi says simply before hanging up.

Ara sighs and thumps her forehead on the bar top. She could not have messed that whole convo up any more than she did.