Dakini's Hope

Chapter 27

"I...I ca-can't d-do it...I'm too scared..." I say quietly, starting to shake with fear. Chase looks slightly disappointed, but I quickly continue before he says anything. I need to show him.

"B-but...if y-you...want...you could t-take it off f-for me...I-if you'd like..." I add, more than a stitch of hesitation lacing my voice.

I try to keep calm as Chase nods and slowly reaches up to my scarf as if I might disappear at any sudden movements. I try to keep my nerves together, but I can feel them start to fray under the stress of it all. My heartbeat keeps rising, my breathing becomes tighter and heavier; like I'm being choked again. I can't do it. I can't! As I sense his hands move up to my blindfold and I hastily grab his wrists with each hand.

"Don't...." I whisper. "You won't like what you see..."

Chase, again, doesn't push me to accept but he doesn't give in either. He lets me hold his hands in place, hovering half way between the back of my blindfold and my cheek. I can feel my palms trembling against his wrists, but I can't stop myself; tensing up only makes it worse. 

"Dakini...I don't like what I can't see.." He whispers back soothingly. 

We stand there, my hands clasping his wrists tightly, in the same position for a few minutes while I try to calm my racing heart. He won't do that to you. He won't hurt you. He'll be okay... I think to myself desperately. Just...let him do it.

"If you're not comfortable, you don't have to take it off tonight. We can always wait until you're ready." Offers Chase, still letting me hold his wrists in place. I shake my head vigorously. It's a nice gesture, but if I don't show him now, I might never show him. And I can't not show him.

It's now or never.

Slowly, I loosen my grip around his wrists and let my hands drop to my sides again. His hands reach around the back of the blindfold and I feel the material begin to slide off my face as he undos the knot I had so uncaringly tied. I close my eyes as it falls from around my eyes.

Please don't change..don't change....

Hesitantly, I open my eyes and blink a few times to get used to not seeing through a wall of red again. The moonlight outlines his jawline and broad shoulders; making him appear almost ghostly in front of the lake. I wait for him to give some kind of reaction as I look up at him properly for the first time.

Chase stands stock still; his eyes not leaving mine and the scarf hanging limp in his hand by his side. His wolf ears and tail appear, but they don't give any hints as to what he's thinking or feeling about me now that he's seen them. His scent doesn't give anything away either and my heartbeat fills the silence that has taken over my lips. Forgetting that my vision is still normal, all my mind thinks is: He's scared of me. He's gonna run any second now.

"I-I knew this was a bad idea..." I mutter, turning my head away to keep my eyes hidden from him.

But his hand reaches up to my right cheek as I turn away and he gently pushes my face up so that I'm looking directly at him again. I don't try to resist and I realise that his gaze isn't filled with fear - but wonder.

"Why would you want to hide them?" He whispers, his thumb gently stroking my cheek. "They're beautiful..." 

I gently pull away from him with a small, sad smile for what's about to happen. "Y-you w-won't say that in a m-minute.." I reply, closing my eyes again and turning my head to the left.

Before he can ask what I mean or stop me, I reopen my eyes and my vision is completely red. I make sure not to look at Chase directly; tilting my head so that he can see my eyes, but I can't see him. I don't want to hurt him. I can't hurt him. Again, Chase puts his hand under my chin and gently lifts my head up. I try to resist him, but he keeps persisting until I eventually give in to him. He's glowing white, as usual, but it's more of a dull white and...I can see his eyes. I focus on them, trying to decipher what he's thinking or how he's reacting by the look in them alone. His face is a white haze, so I can't make out his facial expression.