what you want most \\ harry hook (!discontinued!)

there's nothing wrong with me.

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Wha?

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What?

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What's happening?

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Where am I?

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And what the hell is that noise?

I blinked my eyes slowly, the world blurry in front of me. My whole body ached I looked about sleepily, the insistent sound in my ears. What was it? I was in a room- all white by the looks of it.

"She's coming to."

Who is that? I sat up, my body groaning in protest as rubbed my head. Must've hit it on something. How did I get here?

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It all came flooding back. I had killed a man, turned around, and been shot in the chest by the skinny guard I deemed nonthreatening of all people- with something strong. Nothing like the guns I remember my dad using in my childhood. It had electrocuted me and knocked me out.

"Hello, Ms.? Can you hear me?"

I looked around rather stupidly. Where were the voices coming from? I was in what was, quite literally, a white box. No windows, no doors, nothing. Just me. I stood up and did a quick check of myself, noting that I was still in my original clothes- though my knives were gone. The floor where I had been sitting had dirt on it, differentiated from the room's overall pristineness. "Where am I? And what is that noise?"

There was silence interrupted by nothing but the strange rrrrring sound for a moment before the female voice came back. "I believe that noise is the air conditioner. You are in the Auradon rehabilitation centre."

"What?" I asked in disbelief. "No- I- there's nothing wrong with me. Or da, for that matter. Let me out. And why would ya need to condition your air?" There was no response. Nothing happened for a moment, then the wall to my right started rolling up until I could see people through a glass window. One-sided glass. And I was on the blindside. "Hi. Can I leave now?"

"I'm afraid not, dearie." The female voice was revealed to be a brunette woman.

"Don't call me that."

"Your father was taken in for alcohol and suspected drug abuse. Your..." she trailed off for a minute. "Ahem. Erratic behavior has led us to believe you may be in the same situation."

I grinned at the memory of the dead guard. "He deserved it."

The woman made a face. "We would like to take some blood samples, if you don't mind."

Shit, I can't let them test that. I was very much an alcoholic- and I couldn't let them find out or else I would have to stay here. And I can't stay here. "I'm good, thanks though."

Just then, one of the walls slid open, the noise cutting out the so-called air conditioner. A male nurse (overall thin with floppy blonde hair, but not in the hot way some girls go crazy for. More of a 'Nerd that hasn't showered in 5 days' way) stood there with a needle on a plate, flanked by two more guards. "No-" I backed away from him. Way out, way out, way out- the door had slid shut behind them and the glass was obviously made to defend against people like me and while I was strong-

"Please hold still, this won't hurt a bit." The nurse walked towards me. I scanned him- the card hanging around his neck was plastic, obviously not a fashion choice- maybe it could open the door. I backed into the corner, he neared me. He held out the needle and I pounced, pushing him to the ground. I yanked the necklace off if him and ran for the door, avoiding the two guards with a simple duck- only to find that there wasn't any way to scan the card.

"Apprehend her!" The lady on the other side of the mirror ordered.

The two guards came onto me and I felt for my knife- only to remember it wasn't there. Guess we were going barehanded then.

"Come an' get me, cuttlefish." The first one, a woman who must have been at least 6'1" jumped at me. I punched her face hard enough to break her nose and she ducked away clutching her face, just in time for the other, an ugly-ass man to swing a kick at my face. I caught it and threw his leg back at him, sending him to the ground.

The first one raced back with anger on her face, grabbing my neck and pushing me against the wall." You're going to pay for that," she snarled at my face. I reached my arm slowly and hit the pressure point on the back of her neck- she collapsed.

"Sure, poppet." I stepped away only to have my leg grabbed by the second guard. I was pulled to the floor. He pinned my arm above my head, not that he could hold me. I kneed him in the chest hard and his grip loosened- 

just as I felt a poke on my wrist. 

The guard held my arm down and I glanced up, just in time to see the male nurse pull a needle away. "What the hell did ya do to me idiot-" I stood up to attack him but fell back down. "What the..." I stood again and swayed on my feet, not able to hold a straight position. "What did you do to..." My voice faded out and I stumbled to the wall.

"Clear out and wait until the sedation is complete," the blonde nurse said shakily said as the glass went back to being one-sided. He and the two guards walked through the door with some struggle because of their injuries-

The door was open! I could get to it- my legs collapsed after two steps. I tried to get up again but... what did I need the door for? I crawled to it. My body failed out halfway and my face smashed into the floor. What is this? What? Red liquid- in my mouth- it tasted like metal- blood! Haha, I was bleeding! I didn't know I could do that...

I laughed lowly and pushed off the floor, leaning on the wall behind me. My smile ghosted across my face as I spread out and sat against the white wall. I'm not sure where I am anymore... though am I ever? That's me I guess... just a lost girl with a madman for a father and a personal heightening insanity...

"My name is calypso~" I sang, my father's memory triggering one of the many songs he taught me...

"And I have lived alone.
I live on an island,
And I waken to the dawn-
A long time ago
I watched him struggle with the sea.
I knew that he was drowning,
And I brought him into me.
Now today,
Come morning light,
He sails away
After one last night. I let him go..."

Dad taught me this song.... always said it would help me someday, for what I'm not sure- dad says a lot of things. Where is he right now, the lady said something.....

"My name is Calypso,
My garden overflows,
Thick and wild and hidden,
Is the sweetness there that grows...
My hair it blows long
As I sing into the wind-
My name is Calypso,
And I have lived alone...
I live on an island
I tell of nights
Where I could taste the salt on his skin."

My words were fading in and out in a way that actually sounded rather nice, even against the constant humming of the air conditioner... I wonder if the nurse lady could hear me? Some of the words were wrong, I couldn't remember them all...

"Salt of the waves
And of tears,
And though he, pulled away
I kept him here for years...
I let him go...My name is Calypso,
I have let him go.
In the dawn he sails away
To be gone forever more,
And the waves will take him in again
But he'll know their ways now.
I will stand upon the shore
With a clean heart..."

My head was bobbing from side to side with the harrowing tune, a token to the sea goddess Calypso, the one who was watching over the sailors...or choosing their deaths- kind of like me, haha, maybe I am the sea goddess!

"And my song in the wind,
The sand will sting my feet,
And the sky will burn...
It's a lonely time ahead,
I do not ask him to return-
I let him go..."

Where was he going? Why did he leave the goddess?

"I let him go..."

Is he coming back? Would he ever love her again...

"I let him go..."

Ever again?

"I let him go..."