what hurts the most (poetry)

a letter to the man who lied to protect his image

i don't even know where to begin with this note,
i'm just gonna type and see where it takes me and where my thoughts come out to be.
i met you a year ago, and never did i thought it would turn out to be like this,
the lies you have told, it doesn't make any sense to the proof i have of you,
i also met your friend a year ago to, but he isn't worth a message to write or a breath of my air.
but this isn't about him,
this is about you,
you turned on me for what?
you know the truth and yet you told another story to keep your image.

keep in mind,
you know nothing about me,
and i know nothing about you.

all you know is my name, my age and where i live,
so if you ever did talk about me,
it's all coming out of your ass.

you know,
that i was nothing but kind to you,
i made a whole ass snapchat for you cause you kept asking me to make one for you,
you said that if i ever needed to talk about anything i can always go to you,
well you didn't keep your word,
did you?

i never talked bad about you,
not even once,
when we first met,
you were so sweet and i thought you were different,
but from what i see,
you care about what people think about you and who you talk to.

popularity got you fucked in the head,
what's lying about your feelings about me gonna do? yes you thought i was pretty, yes you thought i was cute, so why lie about it?

i know i'm wasting my time with this,
and i know that this note isn't even worth it,

but tell me why?
what did i ever do to you?
wait i can actually answer that for you
n o t h i n g
a t
a l l

what's going against me gonna do?
you know if you were truly honest in the beginning and actually cared about me,
you would have told me everything and not leaving me on delivered or read.

i would have wished you the best and moved on with my life, but no you had to make all this drama and all this bullshit up,

first you say,
"i don't know who she is"
then you said,
"i only talked with her cause i felt bad"
"felt bad"
hmmmm
you felt so bad that you wanted to come all the way to my city to "hang with me" and "shower" with me.
oh yeah definitely,
you felt "so bad" there right?
no cause whatever you say, you know deep down what happened and the truth, but you'll never admit it, and that's okay cause it'll be in the back of your mind.

and, i'll always remember you,
i won't forget how we met,
and i won't forget how this ended,
well, i was real from the start,
how it ended was on you.

you should know that this all could have been prevented, and if you were any kind of man you would have done the right thing and told me, but no, you made things 10 times worse by saying those things and flipping the script.

i was upset with you,
i thought i was never gonna forgive you,
bu i came to the realization, that i couldn't do anything about it, and how how i feel, i can control that, i decided to be the bigger person and say "fuck it, better is coming."

i didn't cry over you,
absolutely fucking not,
i cried because i was so sick and tired of getting treated like this when i'm nothing but kind, i really don't understand what goes through someone's head thinking, "this is the way it's gonna end"
"this way, i won't have to face the consequences"
you had the ticket way out.