Harry’s POV:
Slowly the music died and Alyssa stood beside me while her parents were talking about the charity and how they were thankful and all. But I really didn't care, I kept looking at Alyssa. The back gown made her look slimmer and gave her height, her smokey eyes complimented her brown eyes and her pink tinted lipstick made me want to kiss her. I shook those thoughts and just stared at her, she was perfect as she was and I dont know why she thought otherwise. Maybe it was because of Daniel and partly because of Zayn. Majority of the girls in our school looked up to her, she was pretty without being mean, she had beauty but had brains too. She was the topper of our school and also the prettiest. She didn't hold grudges, and didn't have enemies. Couldn't she see how everyone loved her and thought she was perfect? But she was perfection for me she had her flaws, everyone does, but her flaws too were her beauty. But as she said, “Perfect girls aren't real and real girls arent perfect.” She was the closest to perfection I had ever seen. I feel Alyssa tug my arm, “Harry I am going back home now. I’ll see you tomorrow, and tell Niall that I need to talk to him in the evening tomorrow.” I nod. I see a blush creep up her cheeks, have I started imagining things now? I turn my head when I heard someone call my name and instantly feel a pair of lips on the corner of my mouth. I hold Alyssa’s hand because I know she’ll run away, I pull her into my arms and kiss her cheek. As soon as I leave her, she gracefully makes her way to the gate, she turns back and looks at me, a smile spreads across her face. And then she is gone.
As soon as she is gone, I move to find Niall. I see him talking to Rue, looks like an argument. I laugh and reach them. “Niall shut up and drop me back.” “Rue, I am not dropping you back.” “Rue, I’ll drop you back. Niall, Alyssa wanted to talk to you tomorrow.” “Stay happy Rue Harry is dropping you.” I sigh and me and Rue head out, I spot someone sitting by the grass. Niall and me look at each other. Niall speaks, “Rue, I’ll drop you. Harry has some work.” Rue nods. I head towards the person, as soon as I see the open brown hair and black dress I know it’s Alyssa. I quietly sit down beside her, she immediately moves her hand to cover something that she had placed on her grass. I try to move her hand but she doesn't move. We sit in silence, somewhere in between ALyssa leans into me and falls asleep on my shoulder. I hear her parents, I carry her bridal style and place her in the car, her parents force me to ride back with them. They drop me off and I walk in. I seriously need to tell Niall about my feelings now.
I walk in and see Niall look up at me. “Harry, did she try to cut herself or anything there?” I shake my head and he takes a sigh of relief. “Niall, I need to talk to you.” He looks at me and motions with his hand to continue. “Ok so be ready for a long speech now.” He nods, understanding I am being serious. “Ok so recently I have started liking this girl. I like her in way that if we both got together I wouldn't even let her past come between us. Let it be my past or hers. I would build a relationship so strong that no external force can separate us. No persuasion can separate us. However whenever I think of us together I feel afraid that if we get together we may shatter eachother, like we might break each other. That girl is kind to everyone so its not that she’s kind to me. I dont even know if she likes me but my gut tells me she does. I feel that our relationship would cause emotional pain. I am not worried of the effect of that pain on me but on that girl."
“I feel anxious and worried for the girl. She has a messed up past and I dont want to bring back old memories, I want to abolish them. I want to treat her like a princess, I never want to mistreat her. I don't want to be a criminal in her eyes, I want to be a saviour. I want to be “her saviour”. I want to light the fire of confidence and trust in her eyes, she’s lonely and hardly know me but I still feel her crying herself to sleep. I want to rescue her heart and tell her she is perfect a million times, because she is the closest thing to perfection ever. I want to be the adhesive that holds her heart together, I want to be the single piece of tape that holds her heart together. I would go to any extent to find her happy self even if that would mean losing myself. I would break myself to make her happy. I tried to treat her just like a normal friend, I tried to forget her but everything in my life reminded me of her. From the bed I sleep in to the house I share with you. Hell, even your face reminds me of her.” His mouth is wide open, “Who is this girl, Harry?” I take a deep breath, “Niall, its Alyssa.” Niall’s face turns from utter shock to a grin on his face. I thought he would shout at me and all but the opposite is happening here. “Do you want to say anything more?” I nod and continue.“I look at the world as its turning, infinite life that has been lived at infinite speeds and in infinite ways. Every smell, every sound, every color that Alyssa sees. All that she sees is all that makes up me. Her memories of Daniel will be in vain as the aftershocks are always going to remain. I just want her to know that the cure is better than the cause. There are the different gems of love that float and blow in this world of mud. I want her to see the battlefields of care and sin. I want her to see these from my point of view and realize how empty my world is without her since my care and sin would be for her. I want her to realize how full of emptiness I am without her. I am completely lost in the words I said, what am I supposed to do now?"
Niall stands beside me and raises his hand. I thinks he’s about to slap me when I feel him pat my back. “Harry why havent you asked her out already? Why havent you told her all this?” “Niall, I don't even know if she likes me.” “Harry, are you so oblivious. She kissed you in front of a bunch of important people, she opened up to you faster than she did to me. You are probably the only person she trusts after me and Rue. Harry just do it.”
I chuckle and shake my head, “Niall, I don't want her to think that just because of her looks I am asking her out. I want to know her completely. I want to know her so well that I can predict what she will say or do. I want to know her soul, not just her. I want to be someone she trusts as much as she trusts you.” He yawns, “Finally someone who can keep my Alyssa happy. Harry believe me you are doing it right.” I smile and walk upstairs while he goes into his room. I take of my shirt and throw it on the floor when I hear something hit the floor. The sound of metal on floor. As I bend down and lift my shirt, I see it. A blade halfway in my pocket and halfway out. I place the blade in my hand, its got her initials carved, A.B. I think I should return it to her, or should I keep it so I know she can't cut again? Has she already cut herself?
With so many questions and the undying urge to see Alyssa I wore a sweatshirt and rushed out to walk to her house. I knew her window would be unlocked and I could enter from there or from her balcony, I decide the latter. Soon I am climbing up to the balcony when I see her sitting with a mug in her hand, presumably coffee with her head against the wall and eyes closed shut. She’s fast asleep. I place the mug aside and carry her to her bed. I check her hands for a new cut and there is nothing. Just those two old scars marking her flawless skin.
I look at the walls that will never cease to surprise me and I see a paper standing out from the rest. I pick it up and read. “He’s wild, but kind. He’s saved me from everything that is not here. He put my insecurities to sleep and dove into my eyes. He starved me of my fears. He tasted all my dreams, even the ones coiled under my bones. But did I love him? My feelings for him were a labyrinth.”
Who was she writing all this for? Was it for me or for Daniel? Perhaps I’ll never know. I sit down beside her and say, “But darling I am following my map that leads to you.”
I missed our happy talks, the time she had been hurt once. She was happy but now she was ten feet underground. I slowly get up but feel a hand holding my shirt. Alyssa. Still asleep but holding onto me. I free myself from her grip and walk back home as fast as I can.
Its hard to resist temptation, its hard to resist her. After all from the complications of my heart loving her there was no end or return. I hope this love was infinite because she didn't deserve any less.
(OMG THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR REACHING THE GOAL EARLY. I have been waiting to put up this chapter and its finally here. 1.6k for next update.
Love you all.
-Aarushi xx
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This Is Us
FanfictionI could feel his hot breath on my neck. His mouth was slightly open and the room was filled with the sound of our breathing. High school started horribly, I hated going to school. But it all changed with that one party, the very same party I saw the...
