Chapter 15

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Alyssa’s POV:

I wake up due to the constant buzzing of my phone, Rue. I open my eyes and realize that I am tucked inside my duvet in my room. I clearly remember sitting outside and falling asleep there. I stretch and yawn, pull out a rubber band and tie my hair into a bun. I move towards the balcony. That’s when I first smell it. I smell Harry, I smell his perfume. I walk towards the railing and look down, sure enough there is a piece of jeans etched there and under my feet is his bandana. I walk into my room with the bandana. I glance at the clock, just an hour more. My mind returns to the fact that I woke up in bed, so did Harry really come here? Was he hurt? Why did he come here? Did e see that quote? Did he realize it was for him? I push all these thoughts aside and move to get ready. I decide on black jeans and a white top with a collar necklace. I take a shower and dry my hair. I come out, wear jeans and my top. Wear the necklace, last minute I decide to chuck my heels and wear flats. I pick up my bag, ruffle my hair and go down for breakfast. I eat an apple and start walking towards school.

I walk past Niall’s house and see the lights arent on. Maybe Mr. and Mrs.Horan aren't home. After slowly walking the short distance and after a stop at Starbucks I finally reach school. Holding my copy of Bane Chronicles in one hand and my coffee i the other I make my way to school. I kept my bag in the locker since I was here early for band practice and head towards the band room. I open the door and see only one person is there. Singing flawlessly with his head hung low, Zayn. He didn't realize I came in and continued singing. At the part I am supposed to join in I sing and then he looks up. I sit down beside him and smile. “Zayn, I have forgiven you but we can only be good friends.” As those words left my mouth a smile spread across his face. I smile back, “Alyssa, thank you so much.” He puts his arms around me and it isnt awkward. We wait and finally give up on the rest of the people. Me and Zayn walk downstairs and he heads to get something while I walk towards the lawn.

I walk towards my usual tree to sit down and read when I see that place is already occupied. There is a group of some boys standing. All of them holding a cigarette in their hands and wearing ripped jeans and had long dirty hair. Wait, I know Harry wears ripped jeans and so do Niall, Liam, Zayn and Louis but it looks good on them or maybe I am used to seeing them in that. Any which ways they look amazing in their denims. Harry has long hair and he looks amazing, like breathtaking sort of amazing. But these guys look sick. I feel like I have seen one of them before. Logan. He turns around the same minute and looks at me. I pretend to look somewhere else until he walks up and stands right in front of me. His height towers over me. “Logan, move,” He holds my arm, “Aly, look I know what Daniel did. I know it was wrong. But I want to apologize okay?” What is with people always apologizing to me? “Ya fine Logan. Leave me.” He reluctantly lets me go and I contemplate on where to go since I don't want to head to class. Those skinny anorexic girls would be gossiping and planning on starting a rumour about me. I decide to walk around the lawn. When I am almost done I see that sam group of boys staring at me. I instinctively put my head down and keep walking. However I want to be beside Harry now, I don't know why.

Rue wasn't here yet, ugh. Even Niall and Harry weren't here. I decide to sit in in the library to read and come down fifteen minutes before school. On entering the library I hear a familiar voice, JAMES. Oh my god, good lord, I haven't spoken to him from ages. We were pretty close but then our sections got shuffled so we lost touch, we just bump into each other at parties. I go and put my arms around his neck from behind. “Alyssa, babe so long.” I smile, “How did you recognize me, Jamiee?” “You are probably the only girl who always smells a bit of make deo. I laugh and we sit down beside eachother talking about the past six months. The thing that always fascinated me about him was how his eyes gleamed and crinkled when he smiled and how my hands itched to write about them. Once I had written something too. I remember that he too was in the band last year. “Didnt you try for the band this year?” “No, I couldnt. I wasn't well.” “That’s a shame. You are very talented.” He grinned and then we spoke about the band. I convinced him that I'll talk to Niall and the lads if we could take him in. With just fifteen minutes before  school I got up and so did James. We headed downstairs while I began looking for Niall and Harry. I looked towards the road and saw a car approaching and two boys talking to each other.

The car was honking loudly but the boys didn't notice. They were shoving eachother. I looked at the tall guy, he was wearing a black shirt and the skinniest jeans ever possible. It was Harry and of course the blonde was Niall. I tried to shout but it felt like my vocal chords had vanished and all the air had been pulled out from my lungs. And thats when I saw everything slow motion. The cars driver frantically trying to move them both but they weren't paying any attention. And he banged into them, Harry’s knees buckled and he fell and Niall fell straight face first. I wanted to get up and hold them in my arms but my legs wouldnt move and my mouth wasnt ready to make sound. I wasnt going to let shock win this time, tearing myself free from the shackles of shock I got up and ran towards them.

I cradled their heads in my lap and felt Zayn’s presence beside me. I don't know how, but I knew it was Zayn. ayn placed Niall’s head on his knee and told him to keep his eyes open. I looked at Harry. He was bleeding badly. His eyes were closing and yet I could only think of how beautiful his eyes looked. The green as bright as an emerald in the sunlight and those specks of gold that gleamed brighter than actual gold and those eyelashes which cast shadows on his cheekbones. I was brought back to reality when Zayn was shaking my shoulder that ambulance had arrived and the two most important people in my life were battling life and death. “Please let me come with them.” “Sorry ma'am, you aren't allowed.” I begged and argued but they wouldn't let me go with them. This could be the very last time I see an alive Niall or Harry. 

I ran towards the building to collect my things. I was going to go home. I picked up my stuff and made my way back. My shirt was stained red, a complete contrast to its previous colour. I wanted to wash of myself but not the blood. Perhaps it was the only thing to remind me of him. Or maybe I wouldn't need to remember him anymore. I reach home and walk straight to my room. I take off the shirt and change into shorts and tank top, head down with my box. I sit in the patio and just stare at that box. It contains my blades but for once I was going to be strong and not let them call me to them. For once I was going to oppose them. Afterall I didn't want Niall to think I died because of him. I took a blade and slashed it on my arm. It was like my hands did everything before I could stop them. 

I didn't stop the blood. The blood reminded me of Harry. Everything here reminded me of Harry. The grass, the smell and the blades. I had taken the forbidden path because it always the bad that is tempting. I had done something I would never forgive myself for. I somehow force myself to get up and throw the blades in the bin along with the box. Yes, I swore on myself I wouldn't cut again. My eyes were closing. I walked back and as soon as my feet touched the ground my knees buckled and I lay flat on the grass. A pool of red soaking my shirt. But surprisingly I didn't want to die. I moved my other hand and called Louis. “Louis, I cut myself please come.” He was there in five minutes. The pain was unbearable. He lifted me up in his arms and my eyes closed shut.

Even after my eyes closed I could see Harry. I could see his eyes. Maybe I had inhaled him since I could feel him behind my eyes. Even after all this blood loss he was in my bloodstream. Maybe this is what love is. Like they say, “The best love is insane.” Our love could be insane. Or maybe not. But he was my fairytale. And then everything was black except the sound beeps.

(Thank You So Much for 2k. Love you all. 2.4k for next update. Picture of James McVey. He's frm The Vamps and hot af -Aarushi xx )

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