Memories of the past

CHAPTER SEVEN

As she cried she continued to wonder why is it that in this world there is no one that loves her is she so hard to love or what mistake did she commit against God for him to punish her like this. Was she not a good Christian or a daughter so that even her parents don't care about her.
All she ever wanted was to be loved by her parents at least just like other children. But even that she was denied. Delilah sat down from her earlier position that she had assumed of her kneeling down.
"What did I ever do wrong to deserve this punishment." She had lived her child hood with her nanny never her parents. They were ever busy either outside the country or late nights at their offices. Even when summoned to come to school by her teacher or parents meetings they were too busy to show up. A nanny was sent to take care of the matter. Even back at home she had tried to bond with them even by making dinner for them only for her to get disappointment in the process as they would come home late and when she asked them to have dinner they would brush her off with am tired they wouldn't even notice that she stayed up waiting for them to come home and so on they never once tucked her in.
She even at times wondered if her parents ever cared that she's awake or asleep or she went to school. Since not once did they show their concern except for after she decided to pursue a bachelor course in business management.

That was when her mother had thrown a tantrum saying no daughter of hers is going to pursue such a course and she had gone ahead to say that she should pursue a career like hers as she is smart and business management is not for people like her as she had put it. So now she wanted her only daughter to follow her footsteps and pursue law either be a judge or a lawyer.

As for her dad he could care less all he was ever concerned with were his own patients back at the hospital and all those scheduled surgeries. If it were not for her grandma always by her side and telling her to understand them. That they're just busy. Delilah would have grown up holding grudges against her parents but she couldn't bring herself to not even now after they ruined her life. At least she was given one person who loved her all the way through and not once did she make her feel unloved even when she had her episodes her grandma was there. She had even gone with her to all her doctors appointments when she was diagnosed with anxiety disorder.
But her mother like always had even went ahead to forbid her from going to the doctor saying she was only trying to seek attention. She had scolded Delilah saying that she should stop being an attention seeker and an appreciative brat. So Delilah only got to visit the doctor once she was at her grandma's even that was by secret cause if her mother got to hear about it she for sure would be forbidden to even visit her grandmother.

If it was up to her she would have preferred to stay with her but as always her mother was having nothing of this. But at least her grandma managed to somehow get her mother to agree to the idea of course that Delilah wanted but it was with a condition that if she got anything less than a perfect score she would then be put to a law school. Which had her working around the clock during her exams.
To Delilah attending law school would be a torture to her law was only made to oppress others and put certain individuals at the mercy of others that's how the government worked so did politics and they were related. And she hated this as well as everything that had to do with the government. But even then the fates had taken her pillar away from her. When her grandma died it was like the whole word had crushed for her but since she had made a promise to her she had to live to it. Back then if Derik was not with her and her friends she would have collapsed never to wake due to the pain the world was subjecting her to. But now he also left her.

After her grandmother had died she had missed almost a month and half of her semester which was year two. Her episodes had become rampant to a point that she got admitted to a hospital. Not even then did her parents care only her friends were there for her most of which every time they came she would just push them away.
It was only after Derik had reprimanded her telling her that if her grandmother was here she would be so mad at her for how she couldn't be strong enough.
"D if Kathrine saw you like this do you think she would be proud of you. You promised her remember that you'd be okay." Derik had said. "Well she also broke her promise, she once told me that she'll never leave me but she did, she left me Derik all alone my pillar is gone so how do you expect the walls to stand without the pillar. She left me Derik." Delilah broke down while Derik hugged her as she cried. He couldn't stand seeing her like this. It was hurting him as much but he had to be strong for her.
"D I know it's hard but once a little girl told me that I shouldn't curse death for taking the person I love away but should be happy that they're resting in a better place and no matter what happens they'll be in our hearts. Derik used Delilah's words against her she had been the one to give him that advice after his mother succumbed to depression. He even reminded her of the promise she made to her grandmother since at that time he was with her by her side trying to calm her down as she kept crying and asking her grandma not to leave her. "Well I guess she lied it hurts so much I can't go on without her Derik she's the only one I had and now that she's gone I don't think I have the courage to go ahead alone, it hurts a lot knowing I won't see her I will not hear her voice. It hurts a lot where will I go when I'm sad? Derik tell me, who will I share my happiness and emotions with Derik? my dreams, tell me. It hurts a lot . I don't think I can go on like this. Who will tolerate me and my tantrums who Derik?. Who will cheer for me and give me courage. No one Derik cause she's all I had and she left me just like that. Grandma why? Why would you do this to me. You said I was your favorite but clearly am not we were a team and you don't leave a teammate behind. I can't go on Derik, I can't without her here." Delilah broke down. "Anyway a house can't keep it's roof on once the pillar has collapsed."
" I'll be here for you have you forgotten that am your teammate too D. Why would you say that. I know you're hurting D but What about me Delilah don't you think Ave lost enough people for me to loose you. If I lost you I wouldn't be able to make it. I thought we had each other D? Kathrine may not be here but I am and I promised her I would take care of you and even if I didn't I would always be here for you. You're all I got in this world babe, so please D if you want to leave me alone go ahead I won't stop you but I made a promise to Kathrine that I wouldn't let any harm come to you. And right now you're being selfish." Derik told Delilah he had had enough when she said she can't go on living that she had no one he got so hurt that she doesn't care about him. As much as he understands her grief he couldn't tolerate anymore so he stood and was about to leave when Delilah spoke.
"Go ahead Derik walk out , leave me alone that's what everyone is good at leaving me alone , my parents never wanted to be associated with me my grandma the only person who cared she also left so go ahead and walk out leave me alone just like everyone else."
" I was not walking away from you I just needed time to think seems like you don't want anyone around. It's been a month D don't you think we're grieving too. Kathrine was my second mom too, so it hurts too that she is gone what hurts more is that you don't want to fight, and I don't think am ready to loose you. I can't loose anybody else Ave lost everyone. You're the only one I got and so it hurts hearing you say you don't want to keep on living, it hurts that you don't consider me as someone who cares for you or someone worth fighting for seems like am nothing to you since am not a good enough reason for you to fight for. So yeah I can't do this anymore D." And with that Derik walked out it hurt him so bad that she didn't want to fight for him for them that she had given up on life.
On the other side after Derik left Delilah had cried herself to sleep and that's when she got to see a glimpse of a woman she was seated on the very green grass by the shadow of a tree with sunset light illuminating her. The view was spectacular. The curious part of f her wanted to figure out who it was and so she walked up to her and there she was seated a woman who looked like a duplicate of her granny but the jovial self wasn't there anymore she seemed sad.
'This is not what I taught you. You are acting weak and that's not who I brought up pumpkin. You promised you'd take care of yourself but by how things look you're burdening people with the role of taking care of you.
You're stronger than this. And just so you know you are hurting him. He's lost his dad then his mom and now recently he lost his grandpa. Don't be so weak. And Ave gone no where I'll always be watching over you and still be in your heart. Please don't hurt him more than he is now.' The lady had told Delilah who by now tears were all over her face as she watched the woman disappear and it's reliving a bad memory.
But her words sunk in and after she woke up that was when she had gotten herself together and even though she continued to have hyperventilation at times when she thought of her granny they were no longer massive and by the time she was back at school she was okay. And even though it hurt she knew she would be okay as she knew her grandma was in a better place and was watching over her.

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