Memories of the past

CHAPTER FIVE

Delilah's POV

Derik comes back to bed and he enters inside the covers and snuggles me into his arms. This time I don’t wrap my arms around him I just lay my head on his chest. His heart beat calms me down from my hyperventilation. After he makes sure am calm he talks.
“ Babe , am not going anywhere. I’ll stay with you but please tell me what’s the problem.” At least he’s calling me babe. Seriously something is wrong with me. This is more than what I'm used to.
“ Babe...” I try to talk but all the other words are choked out.
“ Mmmmmh.”
I just snuggle closer to him and let myself get calm before I could manage to talk. After about twenty minutes of him rubbing my back soothingly I fall asleep. I woke up almost noon time and find myself still snuggled in his arms. He didn’t leave.
“Babe can we get breakfast first and then we can talk over the movie.” I asked. He moved a little seems like am not the only one who fell asleep.
“ Yea sure.” He moves and in the process he touches my wrist and I wince from the pain. He looks at me questioningly but I just cover it up quickly and get out of bed. But I guess he saw through my lie. He snatches my arm and as I try to get it from his grip he squishes my wrist. “Son of a b***h” I screech in pain and he chuckles while giving me that look of ‘I thought you said it’s nothing.’ He walks to the bathroom and gets the first aid kit he comes back and attends to my throbbing wrist. After which we head down stairs to have the breakfast. Nothing much is spoken while at it and I hope nothing will be said about the tantrum I threw earlier.
“Can we go watch that movie now it’s been postponed long enough.” Derik says and we walk to the living room and cuddle up on the couch.
Somewhere in the middle of the movie I decide to give my answer to his questions.
“Babe, so I was thinking about that offer you made about moving in with you.”
“ yea and”
“ And does it have to be now.”
“Babe I wouldn’t mind if it was now itself. I just want you to be with me always.”
“ I mean can the offer stand even if I decide not to move in now but move in after maybe two months.”
“why? Are you not comfortable with the idea.”
“ No silly it’s just with the exams coming soon and graduation I think we should postpone it.”
“ Babe are you sure there isn’t something you are not telling me.”
“ No it’s just ah! You won’t understand let’s just put it like this I want to move in with you but let’s make it after am done with my finals since they are around the corner.”
“What won’t I understand.”
“ seriously out of everything that’s the part you heard.”
“ okay , so you want to move in with me but not now but after the finals.”
“ Yea”
“So is that what got you this worked up.”
“Ah! Seriously Derik just tell me what you think. And yes I know I kind overdid myself especially this morning.”
“Babe I don’t have a problem with it but can you tell me what got you so worked up in the morning.”
“ Ah ! Please can we not go back there am embarrassed even by myself just thinking about it.” He chuckles and then ruffles my hair. Idiot I mutter in my head.
“Seriously though I need to know. That was not the guilt thing you do and not what I'm used to that was….. what can I call it mmmh… massive I thought you were gonna … I don’t know, never mind.”
“What!!... gonna kill myself or harm myself, no way. I just had a breakdown due to some suppressed emotions then you were walking out on me without even a goodbye after I even had my wrist burnt just making breakfast for you.”
He cracks up. Seriously does he have to be this way. Am trying here to tell him about my emotions and he laughs at me seriously though.
“ Can you stop laughing at me. This is why I didn’t want to tell you.”
“Okay I wont laugh again but babe I need to know if you are still taking your meds as prescribed. Cause I know you go to the therapist.”
“Yea I am. Ave been taking them as prescribed but why do you ask?”
“What happened this morning, promise me that when you have something bothering you, you’re gonna talk to me about it at least.”
“ Do you think that was one of the episodes?”
“Babe, don’t worry too much am sure it was nothing major.”
“Yea I think so too it’s just that I had all this bottled up emotions and seeing you leave kind of pulled the trigger. But I promise if I have any thing bothering me I’ll talk to you.”
“Okaaay, can you give me full details here as to why you had so called 'bottled up emotions'.”
“Come on this is all your fault you told me that if I loved you I should move in with you and if I don’t then I don’t. And I figured if I turned you down and give you my reason you’d think that I don’t love you enough to tolerate your situation and you’d think my reasons are just an excuse.”
“ Ooooh am sorry babe if that’s what I made you feel I know it was wrong on my part to use emotional blackmail but I just want you to be with me and I understand if you want time before your exams as adapting to the new situation can be a lot to cope with and I don’t want that to affect your studies.”
“Thanks babe”
“Anytime but babe you said something about not tolerating my situation what did that mean.” Oooohhhooo! now you stupid mouth you had to give even that now he’s not dropping that subject until he draws the truth out of me. What do I do.
“Its nothing babe.”
“I’m not buying that, look how you’re knitting your eyebrows together, that’s what makes me know you’re lying.”
Ops stupid eyebrows, I mentally smack my forehead now he won’t drop it I might as well tell him the truth.
“ Well you know that I adore you and anything that comes in handy with you that also includes your schedule and also your job. It’s not like I’m complaining or something I like you the way you’re I just thought after we move in together I might not be able to handle it together with the exams maybe after the exams I might cope but before that I doubt my capabilities…” I ramble and Derik cuts me in.
“Babe come down and breath okay, .” I take a deep breath while playing with my fingers.
“ Now please talk to me slowly so that I can understand.”
“Okaaaaay , so you see how you’re busy most of the times, not that am complaining though, and you’re rarely here most of the weekends I see you rarely and so I was just thinking that after we move in together I might not be able to cope with it. You see in here while am alone I don’t have many expectations but living with you my brain will register that were two and so I don’t want the disappointment of waiting up for you most of the night or on weekends and you not coming at all. I don’t want to cook dinner for two and get the disappointment of you not being there to have it. Am not complaining I know this was your dream ever since you got to high school and I support you all the way it’s just that I don’t think I can cope with that before my exams. It might have a toil on me but after the exams I can manage as I wouldn’t be so stressed on getting a perfect score and coming home to be reminded of the reason I need a perfect score. I know that you think I’m been irrelevant but living with a nanny my entire life just because my parents were busy had a toil on me, making dinner for them, only for them to come home late and they wouldn’t even notice me there waiting for them they would just blush me off with an I’m tired and so on.” I finish my rambling and am so emotional I don’t even Know how my parents got to this mess. Or could they be the reason.

“Babe I know that most of the times am busy and all that but I’m sorry for not being here with you lots of times. I just don’t know what to do.”
“Babe don’t do anything and it’s not like am complaining you just…... Ah! It’s your fault for pushing it this is why I didn’t want to tell you. Am okay with it . It’s just that with how my parents disappointed me over and over I don’t want such disappointment. anyway it’s not like you don’t tell me when you’re leaving. You give me details of all your schedule and I appreciate that not many get to know where their boyfriends are but for me I get to know I consider myself lucky for having you. And anytime we’re not together you are always checking up on me whether via phone call or video call so no I don’t feel neglected rather I feel loved as you spare time for me even from your busy schedule. Not many would have tolerated that stunt I just pulled this morning and I love you just the way you are. When I agreed to be your girlfriend I knew what I was getting myself into so please don’t apologize for fulfilling your goals as I’ll always be here for you no matter what.”
“Thanks babe , and I’m sorry for making you go through the same thing as you did with your parents.”
“Come on Derik you’re nothing like them. The little time you have you spend it on me you make me feel loved and I cannot complain for that as for them they only know how to dictate how I should live my life. Anytime they get they would rather spend it somewhere in a hotel rather than with me. So Thank you.”
“I love you so much baby.” He says while kissing me.
“I love you too babe.”
“Babe, do we get to have make up s*x, you know,” Derik asks while wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.
“Oh Jesus Christ, did I make a mistake while deciding to be his girlfriend, why you h**ny soul we were having a moment here and there you go ruining it with you corniness.” I smack his chest playfully while sighing in a dramatic manner.
“Come on babe you promised back in the bedroom right.”
“Derik that was yesterday and please shut up am watching a movie here.”
“Babe” Derik whines in a baby voice I can’t help but giggle. “ You are no fun at all.”
“Now you’ve killed the romantic moment, here I was pouring my soul to you and all you think about is s*x. God help me .” I sigh dramatically
“Oh my God What was I thinking getting such a boring girlfriend of all those hotties out there did I have to pick one that’s no fun at all , she can’t even have mercy on my poor soul.” Derik asks setting his hands towards heaven and then holds his chest faking being in pain. We keep whining like that for a while until I decide to end the bickering and kissed him hard cutting him through his bicker.

The kiss goes on for a while until we are out of air and break it to catch some air. Derik looks at me with clouded gaze and I also think I have that. As am craving for him right now. He kisses me again this time the kiss is full of passion and lust we fight for dominance and of course he wins it. We keep kissing and he lays me back on the couch while still kissing so that he is hovering over me. We end up making love on the couch. After which we snuggle in each other’s arms all day. The rest of the weekend goes on like that and before we know it it’s already Monday. To say I now feel contented would be an understatement for what I feel right now. I am also not feeling guilty for refusing to move in with him right away like I was a few days ago. I know it’ll take time to get used after the move in but I know I can. I love him that much. And not once has he made me feel any less loved so yea it’s gonna work.