~Between our hearts and our desires ~

06.

Khadija

I decided to get ready earlier than usual for the party. Do I want a natural nude look or dark and sexy? Hmmmm...I'll go with the full on nude look. Nude is always sexy...right?

"Okay I know this is kinda unexpected cousin but I really need your help." I hold the phone as if it's the solution to all my problems.

"With what and why?" She already sounds bored with me.

"I need to get my outfit ready for this business dinner thing my dad has me going to."

"Wow. Someone's taking business seriously. I wasnt expecting any of this at all Dija. If anything I was expecting you to lie or just run away. About time you give it a try." She's proably nodding her head in appreciation. If only she knew the real reasons behind my sudden interest in the business.

"White dress, blue dress, red dress or black dress?? Oh and I'm on my cycle so consider that too" I didn't think it would be this hard picking out a simple dress.

"It's probably not the smartest thing to wear a white dress while you're on your period. Blue is just boring in general. Red is a little too sexy for a business dinner. So I guess classy black will have to do.

"Shoes shoes shoes...what shoes do I wear?" Pumps?" I ask her promptly.

"Who still wears pumps?" Not only does she sound disgusted but maybe that was a stupid question to begin with.

"You're right, that was a stupid thought. Black Stilettos or maroon Louis Vuitton?"

"Hmmm...I'll take the Louis V's just to break the colour. You don't want to look like you're going to a funeral instead of a dinner."

"True. And now the biggest challenge yet. My hair. Do I do curly waves to the back? The normal straight hair? Maybe a bun? A ponytail? Or a classic braid?" I rant out to her all the options. This is so frustrating. All this work for a dinner with people I don't even know.

"I'd go straight because it's always professional. Now if you'll excuse me cousin I have other matters to attend to. Bye." And she hangs the phone up before I have the chance to say anything else.

"Eeny meeny miny moe. Catch the spider on your toe. If you there. Brush you hair. Don't forget your underwear. On the broken chair." Destiny has spoken and I guess were going curly tonight.

A few hours later and I'm ready to go. Can't forget the butterfly necklace and hoop earrings. I look at myself once over in the mirror. Damn. Who are you and what happend to Khadija? I smile at my inner thoughts compliments. I turn around and get the shock of my life.

"Dad! You can't just sneak up on me like that, at least give me a warning." I slowly take in his full attire for the night.

"You look really handsome in your black suit and tie. Nicely done."

"Once you're done talking to yourself, make your way to the car. We're leaving." And he swiftly turns around and walks away.

Wow. No "You look so beautiful too my darling daughter. You've grown up so fast, I'm so proud of you." What am I supposed to do? Hype myself up?

I eventually join him in the car and a weird awkwardness envelops us. Neither one saying a word or making a sound. Just him focused on his phone and me looking out the window. The only sound is the tire moving over the gravel road.

This is going to be a long drive.

~~~~~~~~~~

Hakeem.

When I arrived earlier I was expecting the house to be fully prepared. I was not expecting to see my parents in a full on stress mode.

"This shouldn't be here."

"Move that away."

"Do you not understand simple instructions?" And there they are scolding the staff. I don't care though as long as they not on my case, I'm perfectly fine.

I decide to take another shower. I strip all my clothing off and get in. I slowly turn on the water and immediately relax. The way the hot water runs down my bare back... it makes me feel at peace with myself. The burning hot water gives me this tingle in my spine and I just hate to have to stop it to return to the world I'm trying to escape. I get out and wrap the towel around my waist.

"Let's see what ridiculous outfit they have planned for me tonight." I look down at my bed and see a tuxedo with a classic bow tie.

"I'm not wearing a bow tie."I hate anything that has to do with going around my neck. I feel suffocated whenever I wear these things. I get dressed and apply some gel to hair. I stare in the mirror and practise my charming smile for the night. "Hi I'm Hakeem Behardien such a pleasure meeting you. Oh I'm handsome? Your too kind." Idiot can you shut up I'm trying to sleep here. Nobody cares about your looks so get over yourself.

My inner thoughts is so jealous of me.

I can still hear you and dummie and how can I be jealous of you when I'm inside of you. And if I'm jealous of you that makes you jealous of me.

I'm so confused.

"What does that even mean. You know what, nevermind. Forget I mentioned it. I can't believe I'm talking to myself, about me."