~Between our hearts and our desires ~

05.

Khadija:

When I arrived home earlier I made sure to check my car out for any damages. Luckily it was nothing but a minor scratch. That's assholes lucky he got away quick enough or else I would've wrecked his car, beat him up and killed him right then and there and then feed him to some dogs.

Okay I'm lying and might be a little dramatic. But I would've scolded at him some more to teach him a lesson. My grandmother always used to say

"Never let a man get comfortable disrespecting you. They'll start taking advantage of you in many ways."

Damn how I miss that woman. She's actually the only one who made me feel wanted. Don't get me wrong I loved my other grandparents too, it's just that she understood me on a personal level that nobody else did. She was that special person to me. Do you know what I mean? That special person that you'd always go to when you had any troubles or were feeling down. She died after a long fight against breast cancer.

The day I found out about it, I was at the office finishing the final papers for the day. When I got the phone call that she was in the hospital and barely holding on, I immediately tried leaving the office. My boss immediately stopped me in my tracks and asked where I was going. I explained my situation to him and he nodded in understanding. Just when I thought he'd be so sweet to let me go, he told me that I had to come a few hours earlier the next day to finish the necessary work, and not forget to plan out his meeting schedules. I know right what an asshole. That's exactly why I want and need to leave that damn job. The work isn't the problem...the people are.

I'm walking downstairs to get a glass of wine. Yes, wine because I deserve it after the long day I had. I walk past my fathers study and I hear him call my name. First he ignores me, then he expects me to be at his beck and call like some servant. If bipolar was a person, it would be him. I slowly open the door and see him sitting behind his desk as if he's in some sort of powerful position. Okay he does run his own company, but that's besides the point. We lock eyes and he directs me to one of his chairs.

"Sit." As I approach the chair and am about to sit he stops me.

"Actully don't. What I have to say won't take much time and I don't want you in my presence much longer anyway."

I take a deep breath and try my hardest not to say anything. What he says hurts but it makes me mad too. I could say his father never wanted him that's why he abandoned him. Or I could deliver a low blow to him and say my own mother left him because he wasn't man enough to handle her. And maybe that's why she had an affair too. I could say it all but I can't and I won't. Because firstly he'd probably beat me up. Secondly he'd ruin every job opportunity thats out there for me.And thirdly disown me from all my rights. And if you're wondering if he'd really do it. He would because my father is really that ruthless.

"Are you listening to me?" I'm knocked out of my daze and brought back to earth. I nod frantically. "

Then what did I just say?" I knew that part was coming. Shit. What do I say. Was he talking about the company, a stock holder or something?

"This is exactly the reason why I wanted a son. He definitely would've paid more attention when I talk. He would've been able to make responsible decisions for himself. He could've taken over my company too. And he wouldn't constantly disappoint me like you. But what could I expect, you're just like your mother...good for nothing."

And there's that look again. The look I've dreaded my whole life. The look of disappointment and disgust mixed in a whole. I don't know how I can ever win when it comes to this man.

"Before you embarrass yourself by saying something stupid again. I was talking about dinner. Tomorrow night we'll be meeting with a few business friends. So be prepared and dress as if you actually care about your life. Now leave."

He doesn't have to tell me twice before I go. First he ignored me, then he dissed me and now he expects me to go to some stupid dinner with a bunch of stupid fake people. It seems like this dinner is important to him though. Maybe I should play along my part as a good daughter. But maybe I should have some fun too.