As Long As Your Happy- louis partridge

it's been months.

We were once the bestest of friends, we were inseparable.
What happened to us? It's mariah isn't it? It's always her, i write to you each day, she doesn't. She doesn't know how to value you but you still pick her.
There dating again.
It's been 5 months since the fight, i was going to talk to him when millie told me he was sad, but i found out he was dating mariah again. Can mariah just leave, she knows I'm in love with you and that's why she's doing it.
Were both alone at school,mariah doesn't bother hanging out with you at school but your still happy and as long as your happy I'll be, except from the inside,I'm slowly dying inside,i want to suffocate from the inside.
•
Dear louis
I keep writing everyday, remembering your smile. Oh God why did you have to bring mariah into your life. We were so much better without her. Remember when we were kids we always chased eachother around saying we had cooties? I do. And now I'm in love with you, the things I would do to be yours louis.
I know I'll be yours one day, and remember when we were smaller and baked a cake for my new neighbors that were just moving in? We ended up dumping the flour on eachother, i still have the picture in my drawer. Where I always put it. I'm slowly giving up seeing you with her, it hurts it really does but you wouldnt realize since your always busy thinking about mariah. It seem like once again you've had to please me with goodbye.
I replay the song we danced that day, everyday, non stop. I look out the window waiting for you to come apologies once again but it seems like your done apologizing. I still keep waiting, i know your going to come one day and I hope it'll be soon because I can't go any longer without you. Even if you considered me a bestfriend,I'll take it, just be by my side again.
-y/n y/l/n

Writing that hurt because everything came from the bottom of my heart, but at the end of the day he'll never care for those letters as much as I do.

Louis pov:
Once again, I'm crying to the song she loves. Jeez i want a hug from her, her hugs are the only therapy i need.
Not mariah but y/n, why can't I just have her, how hard is it for her to love me.
She doesn't even know i stole one of her perfumes and shirts, i sleep with her shirt and treat as my most worthy treasure and with the perfume. I spray it on my sheets every night.
I know it's weird but it's the only way I'll have her by my side. After my crying session i replayed the song while writing to her

Dear y/n
If you could see that I'm the one who understands you. Mariah's the reason we're nothing, nothing at all.
But i hate myself for loving you this much. I don't know why I'm even dating mariah at this point. It's non sense, i can't express my feelings on a piece of paper, but I doubt you love me back so Id rather write it than make a fool of myself. The simplest things you do drive me crazy. The way you giggle at my stupid jokes, the way your different than all the other girls at school, the way you roll your eyes when mariahs gossiping about other people. I can't write all the reasons why you belong with me because there endless. I'm guilty for making you have trust issues, i always just want to hurt myself for making you cry in front of everyone at prom that night. You looked stunning but, i still decided to go with mariah and everyone made fun of you for a week, i cried with you.
I couldn't stop the teasing, I'm sorry I just couldn't because I'm a dork,yet you still forgave me, you deserve better, go out and look for better.
I still managed to be your number one bestfriend when i didn't deserve that position.
I still have the picture of you and me running through the beach, i was chasing you with a lizard and you didn't like it. I wish we could go to the good days, maybe then I'll realize how much your worth. I don't deserve you
- louis.

y/ns pov:

I don't want to do something I'll regret later but it just hurts. Why can't I be mariah, i hate her but she has the boy who I love. I wanted this nightmare to be over. I want to wake up and be louis friend again. I want to wake up actually wanting to eat, it's not good for me it's not good that I'm starving and crying myself to sleep every night. It's not my fault,he ruined our friendship. It's been 6 months now, we don't even make eye contact anymore. We just walk past eachother not saying a word or looking at eachother. He used to wave but not anymore.
•
I got home from school when my phone rang.
"Hey millie!"
Hey y/n do you want to come over and watch a movie, i don't think louis is here.
"Of course be there in 5!"
And hung up
I want going for louis, millie is my best friend, she trusts me and i trust her
•
"Come in!" Millie shouted from the living room.
"MILLIE HII" i said running up to her and giving her a big hug
"What do you want to watc-"
She was about to ask but got interrupted instead
"What is she doing here" louis said from the stairs with mariah beside him
"I invited her. Mom knows she here but she doesn't know Mariah's here so the question goes back to you, what is SHE doing here." Millie said in a sassy voice i giggled loudly making sure they both heard me "Millie, your getting really, fat." Mariah said shoving louis out of the way right infront of us. "Didn't you eat there whole fridge last time you came over though" i said, she stayed silent. "Silence." I said glaring at her
And silence again "atleast i don't look like you" mariah said, me and millie bursted out laughing "NOT BARBIE TALKING" millie said while laughing "she's right, who would want to look like you y/n, your pathetic" louis said, this time I wasn't going anywhere before making fun of him "who asked you,dork." But a part of me regretted it "i said that as a joke, i didn't mean it" louis said while frowning "ugh this is getting boring, I'm leaving" mariah complained. And she left. We all stared at eachother for a while but soon enough we bursted out laughing "CAN SOMEONE TELL ME WHATS SO FUNNY?" millie said while also laughing "i- i don't know!" Louis said while coming over to us.
I looked up at him, the laugh had disappeared, both of our laughs had disappeared.
"I'll leave y'all two love birds to talk" millie said winking and running upstairs "hi?" I said "I'm sorry. I don't deserve you." He said tearing up. "You don't have to apologize,well you do but-" and he hugged me. I wanted it to be a kiss. But it wasn't,instead he friend zoned me.