As Long As Your Happy- louis partridge

cant you stay a little longer-part 5

Today was the day everything would change. Fourth of july, my mom asked "do you want to see the fireworks, louis,millie and uh mariah are gonna be there" i was going to say yes until i heard mariah was coming, i couldn't bare seeing them together any longer, god did it hurt. "Ok then watch from the balcony were going to be just outside the building." I just nodded
I saw as she left and started to write a note

Dear louis,
Happy fourth of july. This is my last day, i wanted to spend time with you but I couldn't bare watching you and mariah together that's why I'm doing this, i love millie. Take care of her for me. And mariah,well i don't give a fuck about her. You chose her over me and it was that easy to replace me, so it's going to be that easy to forget me.
I know this letter is shirt but I can't express how I'm feeling over a letter
-y/n

Louis pov:
I saw y/ns mom coming back downstairs but y/n wasn't with her so I asked "where's y/n?" I asked standing up from the grass "she's watching from the balcony" she said,i had a bad feeling about it but easily brushed it off, but my guts kept telling me to go check up on her. "Ugh gosh I forgot my phone in the room" y/ns mom said, it was a opportunity to check on her. "I'll get it don't worry" so i ran to the building without ever looking behind me.
I bursted into the room and my gut was right. She was on the balcony standing "DONT don't do it." I called out
Y/ns pov:
Don't listen to him. "I can't louis, i can't handle this pain anymore" i said with tears coming nonstop from my eyes and he held my hand.
"Just hold on" he said while grabbing my wrist tightly, i was hanging off the balcony trying not to let go, if i did i would fall, i regretted everything.
"Why do you care if I fall or not ARENT YOU TO BUSY LOVING MARIAH and not me?!"
He looked confused to what I just said "What-"
"LOUIS DONT I MAKE IT OBVIOUS ENOUGH I'm in love with you." I regretted saying that out loud. "ALL THE TIMES I WOULD TALK ABOUT MARIAH WERE TO MAKE YOU JELOUS,i love you too." He said, i couldn't let go now, knowing he loved me too "WHY CANT YOU SEE you belong with me" he said while tears were running down his cheeks
"Then why'd you do it? Why'd you hurt me this much,all the cancelled plans"
"I regret, i fucking regret it because know look where we are,your hanging for dear life,i won't let you go not know"
Louis said trying to pull me
"You still chose the blonde skinny rich girl over me,your bestfriend"
"BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO BE YOUR BESTFRIEND i want to be your lover y/n"
"If I end up falling louis, i have a box of letters in my closet, there all for you, take care of them there all written from the bottom of my heart"
I said closing my eyes, i never kept secrets from him, that was the only secret. "I won't let you go, and if I do you won't be the one falling, you mean the world to me. I have a box of letters written for you under my bed."
And those were the last word i heard from him before i shut my eyes close.
That was it. I wasn't the one falling,he was, i was on the balcony once again as i was watching him fall. I screamed for help as my mom and millie bursted in the door,but i couldnt explain,
I was in even more pain knowing that he loved me back.
"THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT" mariah shouted at me "GET OUT MARIAH, WE DONT NEED YOU RIGHT NOW" millie said while crying and hugging me.
Shortly after the ambulance arrived. Mariah is right,it's my fault.
Oh God, why'd you have to hurt him.
He was my only happiness, the only who worried for me. His voice just keeps ringing in my head, making me think he's here, by my side but he's really in a coma.
I went to his house and got the letter box that he said was under his bed.
Each letter had a different colored flower.
I opened the most recent one

Dear y/n
I would give the world to be with you, i now out your shirt as my pillowcase, mariah says you'll never be like her but I think your better than her, im happier now knowing were friends but i wish we could be more than that sometimes. How could a dork like me pull a beauty like you.
Your giggle from the night we were dancing keeps popping up in my head.
The way you tripped over your own feet drives me insane, why can't k just gather up courage and ask you? Well because I'm too scared of getting rejected. If we ever fall apart just know I'll always love you.
- sincerely louis

If we ever fall apart. I didn't even get to hug you, or say goodbye. I hate myself for doing this.
I regret it.
I regret it. But i won't hurt myself anymore, not when i know that's the reason your in a coma.
Mariah keeps blaming me.
I know you wouldnt like me fighting with her so I ignore it.

I went to a school party the other day. I was all alone but millie was there,netheir of us talked just sat together crying. I play your playlist at night. Ever since I read the letter, i out your shirt as a pillow case as well, it makes me feel like your there because I know you'll eventually be there. I won't give up on you.