𝙌𝙪𝙚𝙚𝙣 𝙊𝙣𝙚 𝙎𝙝𝙤𝙩𝙨

Need you, always - Maylor

I threw myself on the bed and closed my eyes, my mind trying to push out all the negative thoughts that was forming inside.

Why was Brian acting so weird lately? I was just trying to make things easier for him by bringing him his food or serving tea and biscuits to him whenever I feel like he needs it, but he brushed it all away and even yelled at me because I was "too distracting."

I didn't mean to be distracting. I know that he's busy finishing his dissertation for him to be able to earn his Ph.D., and I acknowledge that I really have no idea about what he was doing so I couldn't offer any kind of help to him academically, so I thought he'll appreciate me doing those things to him.

But it turns out, he didn't.

I rolled to the side and hugged his pillow as I sighed deeply. "I'm sorry, Brian. I was just trying to help." I mumbled as I buried my face on the bed and cried as quietly as possible. These walls aren't soundproof so I know that if I cry too loud, he'll hear me in the other room.

The door squeaked as it opened slowly, then I heard soft footsteps thumping their way towards me. "Rog?" It was him. He sat on the side of the bed and tried turning me towards him but I resisted. I don't want to see him right now.

I heard him sigh as he laid on his side and wrapped his long arm around my body. "I'm sorry that I yelled." He whispered against my ear which made me ticklish but I stopped myself from giggling. I do not want him to feel that it was okay for him to treat me like that.

"Talk to me." His voice. His voice was so soft yet so manly that it was soothing. His voice relaxes me so I shut my mouth so I could hear more of it.

My body shivered as I felt him closer and closer to me. Closer than he'd ever been before. My heartbeat so fast. It jumped and leaped as if it wanted to dance out of my body.

Oh god, why? Why does he have to be this close?

I rolled a bit. With the lights turned off, I didn't realize that his lips were so near me, not until I felt his hot breath sweeping against my upper lip. His breathing was slow and steady, in contrast to mine which was fast, almost close to being out of breath.

I thought he couldn't be more closer, but he proved that he could because he leaned a little bit more... until there was no more gap in between, because his lips were on top of mine.

It was there for a few seconds, our lips seemingly forgetting what it was made to do, until I felt the other pair's small movements, then I followed it too. He nibbled in between, trying to get used to the feeling, but I wasn't having any of it. I don't want little movements. I want more, and more, and more.

My head shot up a bit, capturing his lower lip unto mine then I sucked into it so I could feel him more. My heart was beating so fast. Finally! This is what I wanted. This is what I've craved for. This is what I've always dreamt of.

I was so lost in his lips that my eyes were still shut when he parted his with mine. It was like I was on cloud nine - I was floating, the feeling was heavenly.

But I fell back to consciousness when he cleared his throat so I tried looking at his eyes but they were looking elsewhere, everywhere but me. Did he regret it? I hope not. Because I didn't regret it one bit.

"Bri?" I broke the silence. Whatever he will say, I knew that we won't go back to being just friends. I know -- and I feel -- that we're gonna be more than that.

"Rog. Uh... I." I hushed him, putting my finger on his soft lips that were once on mine, unconsciously stopping myself from pulling him back and feeling him again. No, I won't do that.

"If you're gonna say 'I'm sorry' and that you 'regretted it', then please don't say anything at all." I started but he held the hand that was on his lips and started kissing my fingers, one by one.

"I wasn't." He said and my eyes went wide in shock. "You don't?" I asked. Did he really enjoy the kiss as much as I did?

"I'm sorry that I yelled." He said and at that moment, my brain momentarily lapsed. I totally forgot until now that he came here to apologize.

I wasn't going to say anything. I wasn't going to let him off the hook that easily, no. He can kiss me, but I won't be swooped by his one kiss. Even though in my mind, I have forgiven him a thousand times.

But my knees are soft and my consciousness involuntarily shut down when I felt his lips back at mine again. Oh gosh, he's gonna get away with it!

I turned my head to the side and his lips fell to my neck. "Rog, please." He begged. He begged and begged but I kept silent. Not until I hear the magic words.

"I've always wanted you." He said and my body tensed up as I heard those words. It was not the magic words that I was expecting. I was expecting something along the lines of...

"I'm sorry. I appreciate you. Thank you for all your help."

But instead, I was shocked by the words that came out of his mouth. Not that I don't want him to, but because I never expected him to like me as I do. Like that.

I wanted to make him work for it, to make him feel how hard it is to control one's feelings for a friend. But my mouth seemed to have other plans.

"I want you, too."