An Epic Love Story

21. Dumbledore's Tears

Harry told them that he had to go and see the headmaster after lunch, and not to wait for him.  They all entered the great hall together, and the silence that greeted them was deafening.  Harry looked at the members of staff, and just nodded his head at everyone.  Used to whispers, and hushed talk about him, he took his seat and dished up from the feast that the elves had prepared.  Paying no attention to anyone, but the person sitting across from him, he ate slowly.  Draco had chosen this seat for a reason, but Harry didn't need to know that.  Yet.

He had always looked for the green eyes of Harry Potter, across the hall, when he sat at the Slytherin table, but now it was so much better.  It was in close proximity.  And he loved it.  The thoughts twirling around in his head were of what had happened between him and Harry.  He looked down at his food, and remembering the kiss, gave a sly smile.  Pansy nudged him with her elbow, and asked what was he grinning about.  He looked up quickly, and said nothing, he wasn't thinking about anything.  "When you deny this badly, I know you're deep in thought Draco baby", she cooed.

Harry felt the hairs on his neck rise when he heard that.  He didn't like it.  But he also knew that they were friends, and so he let it slide.  For now anyway.  If he wanted Draco in his life, and he did, he wouldn't allow her to call him that.  None of his friends called him baby.  Baby was a nickname for a lover, wasn't it?  He would have to ask Draco about it.  And he would.  Losing his appetite, he put down his knife and fork, and pushed his plate away.

"Not hungry Harry?", asked Pansy.  Green eyes glared at her through his glasses.  Remembering that they all made peace, he stopped his glaring, and said, "No thank you.  Please excuse me, I'll see you all later?".  And with that he left the table, and the great hall.  Draco felt uncomfortable.  Anyone would be amazed to know that he always knew what Harry was thinking or feeling.  So he knew the sudden exit had something to do with Pansy calling him baby.  He smirked, thinking about the fact that Harry was jealous.  It made him feel warm inside.

Pansy was confused.  Why would Harry glare at her?  She had seen his glare many times, but it had never been directed at her.  Maybe she was imagining it.  Whatever.  She turned back to her food, and ate in silence.  Dumbledore was watching the 8th years with a smile on his face, and it was almost as if he knew what was coming.  And he couldn't wait.  But that was for later, what he had to discuss with Harry was going to be gut wrenching, and he wasn't looking forward to it at all.  Rising from his table, he made his way to the 8th years.

"I'm going to be giving Harry some information today that he has no knowledge of yet, so if he returns with a heavy heart, please..", he asked softly.  All the 8th years nodded in agreement, and said that they were there for him, no matter what.  They had already spoken in the common room, and they more or less understood why he had reacted the way he had.  The headmaster was pleased.  Leaving the hall, he set off for his office.

He saw Harry standing in front of the gargoyles, and spoke to them.  "Jelly Tart", he said.  The gargoyles jumped aside, and they went up the stairs to his very well furnished office. Offering Harry a seat, he asked again how he was feeling.  Harry said he was feeling fine, he had spoken to his house mates, and they had all made peace with each other.  Even he and Draco, smiled Harry, remembering how they had made peace.  Dumbledore looked at Harry, who was looking at the floor, with a twinkle in his eyes. 

Shaking his head clear of the image, he looked up to see his headmaster deep in thought.  "What's wrong Professor?", he asked.  Dumbledore laced his fingers together on top of his desk, and said that he had news for him about what had happened, if he wanted to hear it.  Harry was in two minds.  Did he really want to hear it?  Eventually he decided that maybe it would give him peace of mind, so he nodded his consent.  Taking a deep breath he told Harry about why Jacob had felt the need to betray him. 

The more he spoke, the more uncomfortable Harry was becoming.  "Professor Snape asked him why he would rather betray a friend than ask that same friend for his help, and his answer was, he would have been too ashamed", said Dumbledore. 

"So it was easier to betray me, than ask for my help.  It doesn't make it right Professor.  Nothing, which ever way you look at it, makes any of this right.  I would have helped him in a heartbeat.  But he made the decision for me, and tried to kill me.  I will forgive him, in time.  I'm just not ready for that yet.  Can you understand that?", he asked.  Dumbledore nodded and said yes, of course.  He also told Harry that he did in fact die, for a few seconds, but they managed to bring him back.  Thank Merlin, he said with a cry.  Harry raised his eyes at his headmaster.

Dumbledore was crying.  His heart was broken at the fact that they could have lost Harry, and no one would have known.  He felt guilt, shame, and regret coursing through his veins.  He too was one of those that hadn't contacted Harry after the war, and there really was no excuse for it.  He wiped his eyes with shaking hands, and told Harry, that if he had a time turner, he would go back and change that.  He was extremely sorry for letting him down like that.  No one should have to go through anything like that alone.  Harry felt embarrassed.  He didn't know what to say.  And so he rose up out of his chair, and walked round to stand in front of Dumbledore.

He pulled his headmaster into a hug, and comforted him.  He held onto him for what felt like ages.  The younger, stronger man, holding onto the older more frail man, and whispering words of comfort.  "Please Professor, the whole assignment was classified.  Even if you had known, there was no way you could have contacted me.  There is nothing you can say that will make me be angry with you, ever.  Thank you for your apology, and yes it hurt at the time, but I firmly believe that there is a reason for everything.  Please don't blame yourself.  I'm pretty shitty at writing letters myself", he said with a snigger. 

Realizing he had just sworn in front of his headmaster, he wanted to apologize.  That was when Dumbledore pulled out of the hug, and laughed softly at Harry and said it's fine, no need to say sorry for that.  Harry laughed back.  They both took their seats again, and he thanked Harry again for being so forgiving.  Harry waved his hand as if the discussion was over.  No more tears, no more heartbreak, no more apologies, only smiles and happiness from now on.

Dumbledore agreed, and after washing his face, turned to Harry and asked about who he had feelings for.