Harry's Pov
After that it didn't take long for Niall to leave the room. Said that he hasn't slept in a while and was going to take a good needed rest. Which I assume is true but don't think that's the only reason he left.
I feel bad lying to the boys, I remember everything, but I just can't deal with the embarrassment I'd get from Niall rejecting me again. Piper leaves the room not too long later, she made sure to give me one last kiss then whispering in my ear "remember the plan."
She pressed the necklace a little bit causing me to have a small shock but not big enough for any of the boys to notice.After she leaves Liam is the first to speak.
"Harry, do you actually not remember?"
I nod.
"Oh"
"Do you guys know what happened?" I asked trying to play along.
"Harry, we can't say, Niall needs to be the one to tell you."
I sigh and nod. Even though I know that won't happen, I'm going to avoid Niall for as long as possible.
"Harry." Louis says. I look at him.
"Do you um...have you... have you cut recently, or have the urge to?"
I don't know what to say, I look at Liam and he gives me a sorry face.
"Liam..he told us."
"He what!" I yell.
"Harry I'm so sorry but when you went missing all the boys asked questions. Niall told us what happened, how he confronted you about your cuts cause of what Piper said to him and I need to tell him the truth, tell all the boys."
"Liam I can't believe you! I trusted you not to tell anyone. You were helping me! Well fuck you cause I remember everything! What Niall said, all of it. I know he hates me and I don't blame him, I hate me! And to answer your question Louis. Yes, yes I have had the urge. Ever since I woke up in that basement I've had the urge. I deserve it and there nothing you guys can do to stop me!"
All the boys are wide eyed looking at me, Liams crying.
"Harry, you can't leave the hospital if that's true." Louis speaks softly.
"Watch me! Now get out!"
The boys leave quickly and I can hear Niall asking them what happened when they open the door, the don't answer.
The truth is I'm not really mad. How can I be? Liam helped me a lot in the time he sat and watched me cut, I haven't had any urges because I've been so busy getting tortured that it didn't cross my minds. And now thinking about it I have the urge. I look at my wrists and remember how I got each scar. And now I have more scars from Piper and her gang. All of this is too much, but I need to push the boys away. At least till Pipers gone and can't hurt me or them. Till then I need to forget, forget the pain. I need to cut.
Authors note
Again I feel like I need to say this, cutting is not the answer. You always have someone to talk to even if it feels like you don't. And if you do cut that doesn't mean you're weak. You're one of the bravest people out there. Don't let the haters get to you, because there not worth it.
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