I'll Stop Breathing Too (Frerard One-Shots)

Psycho

Hey all, I posted this one on my previous account on wattpad, please do not attack me, I know I made Lindsey the bad guy but I did need a little drama to write this.

Trigger warning: Blood, crying, self-harm, attempted suicide, abusive relationship

Ps: it is a happy ending 

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Waking up to a 'beep, beep, beep' and needles in your arms is a nightmare to most. A cast adorning your leg or arm, maybe even the shock of stitches to keep your ripped up skin together would send one into a ft of hysterical tears; but those aren't tears of surprise. You survived, you're alive and you can carry on with your dreams and aspirations. Obviously psychology and psychiatry would become a big part of your life but at least you can be happy that you're still breathing, that you don't have to depart from family and friends.

For Gerard Way, this is not the case – quite the opposite really. When the red headed 32-year-old awoke to the familiar sound of the heart monitor, he started to sob; far from grateful for waking up. Why? What could possibly be the reason that he did not want to open his eyes again? He had a loving family; a wife, a child he adored with his whole heart, Mikey –his brother– that he always stayed in contact with. So why on earth would he cry for being alive?

The truth was that behind closed doors, life was far from perfect and loving; Gerard's wife, Lindsey, was abusive. I know what you must be thinking: 'how could that be possible?' A female abusing a male could not be possible and should be far from the truth, it simply could not possibly be that. A man can always – and will always – over power a woman. This, however, is the societal views because it would be embarrassing if a man ever had to stand in a court room and say that he is being beaten by his wife. They would laugh, or tell him that he obviously deserved to be hit, that only women and children can be abused. They don't seem to keep in mind that some of those children are males (not just under the age of 10, their ages going up to 18 where they are still beaten to almost death).

"Why are you crying, daddy?" Little Bandit asked Gerard in complete innocence, only causing more tears to fall from his eyes. His poor daughter didn't understand what was going on, only knowing that her daddy was full of bruises, though that wasn't an odd thing for her to see littered across his pale skin.

Gerard never thought that he would slip back into such a dark state. The last time Gerard had been this bad was when he was in High school – years of torture that left him itching to take his own life. It wasn't easy though, to have any sort of emotions in public, so he would pour them all out in the midst of his basement with a blade to his wrist. Oh, the sweet release that the sting brought him, watching utter awe with a grin upon his feature as the thick blood rushed to the surface, creating little bubbles across the line before slowly slipping down his arm. The contrast of the dark red to his pale skin was almost too perfect for him to not admire with his glazed over, hazel eyes.

He had stopped; gotten rid of the burden of self harm when he was in his last year of college and found himself falling in love with the woman he had married. He had met Lindsey through Mikey's girlfriend at the time, seemingly clicking instantly because of their shared passion for art. Gerard should've known that they would not be happy their entire relationship – he really should have seen the signs from when she had told him to work on his weight, to go on a diet; of course, dieting meaning starving himself. She had said that he was too chubby for her liking.

Lindsey and Gerard were in love though and nothing could stand in their way after being together a total of four long years, therefore, he would do anything she asked of him to keep her smiling. Marriage and a baby girl came along soon after, being the starting part of just ripping Gerard's world to shreds. Two years after baby Bandit was born, Lindsey was adamant on leaving New Jersey, claiming that there would be more options if they moved to California. Although being reluctant and not wanting to leave his brother or beloved parent behind, Gerard had agreed to her suggestion. It was a hard decision for him. His heart lay in the small town but, his heart also lay with Lindsey. They bought a house in Cali and moved within the month which didn't help Gerard's sour mood. He didn't get to say goodbye.