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✯¸.•'*¨'*•✿ Nineteen ✿•*'¨*'•.¸✯
''That was the other thing I wanted to tell you'' your mother spoke and you stared at the ground. You felt like you couldn't breathe. Your relationship with your dad was awful, but he was family. It felt like bad thing after bad thing came crashing in your life. Nothing was going right. It was like years of built-up bad luck crashed down on you. So much drama was happening and you didn't know how to take it anymore.
Rin sobbed into your mother's arm and you stared at her. Her black hair into her face, giving you no way to be able to see her face. You sighed and brought your hands up to your face, covering yourself as you let the tears fall down your face.
You hated that man. You despised that man. Why would you be crying? Your breath was shaking just like your hand. You felt two arms embracing you. You looked up, seeing Rin hugging you. Your eyes widen as more tears burnt into your eyes.
''What the hell?'' you whispered to yourself, ''what the hell is happening? What the fuck is going on?'' you cursed. You were losing your mind at this point. Why could nothing go right? All you wanted was a bit of good luck at this point.
''So that's why I haven't been receiving money,'' you laughed to yourself. You tended to make the worst remarks when being sad, but you had never felt this horrible before. ''Is the world punishing me?'' you said as you looked up to your ceiling.
°•. ✿ .•°
The funeral was today. You've spent the past few days in your bed, completely isolating yourself from the outside world. You hadn't seen Kurapika, although he did leave you some messages and voicemails. You couldn't even enjoy the sweet words he was saying to you. You were too afraid of getting hurt again.
Your heart hurt as you stepped out of your bed, taking a shower and getting dressed. You took a taxi to where you had to be. You sighed as you stepped into the building, filled with people dressed in black. You found Kurapika, Rin and your mother. Rin and your mom were crying and Kurapika hugged Rin, his head resting on hers. Your bottom lip was shaking, you desperately wanted to be embraced. You wanted to feel safe, feel loved.
You and Kurapika made eye contact. You smiled weakly at him and his orbs softened. He let go of Rin, who looked at you. Her eye make up was all smudged and she immediately hugged you when she got the chance.
Your breath hitched and you shakily wrapped your arms around her. When she let go she stared into your eyes, ''Is Azami not here with you? Is he still at the hospital?''
''Yeah'' was all you said. He's probably going to die too, you thought. You couldn't face your mother as you were still angry at her. ''So, what's next?'' you asked.
Everyone looked at you, having no clue what you were getting at. They all stared at you with narrowed eyes, except Kurapika, who's eyes were soft. He looked at you, wanting to hug and kiss you so badly, but he couldn't right now. He wanted to hold you in his arms, running his fingers gently through your hair.
He felt bad for not being able to give you the love and comfort you wanted and deserved so much. He had no idea what you were going through, he couldn't imagine all the emotions and pain living in your heart right now. It might not seem like much to some people, but he knew it was a lot for you. He sometimes even wished you hadn't seen each other again that day. He sometimes wished he hadn't said a word to you that day.
He felt like all the bad luck was coming from him, considering how your life was pretty normal before that day. He gulped as he took a step back and looked away, not bearing the regret and guilt that was building up in the pit of his stomach. He had to do something. He had to do something about this situation, but he knew he couldn't. There was still the possibility of him being the father of Rin's baby, which is what was stopping him from leaving her immediately.
He knows the reason might be a little weak, but he simply couldn't accept the possibility of his kid growing up without a father. Knowing Rin's tantrum's, she wouldn't allow him to see the baby. She would manipulate everyone so she would be the one winning in court if she'd take it that far. Kurapika needed proof. Proof of her pregnancy, to ease his doubts about everything. Once he has the proof, he'd come up with a plan. But he doesn't have much time since the wedding is coming up.
''What do you mean what's next?'' Rin asked you, shaking Kurapika out of his endless thoughts. Kurapika now also narrowed his eyes at you. Rin tilted her head slightly as a few locks of her hair fell into her face. She genuinely didn't know how much pain you were in. She didn't realise how much everything was hurting you.
''Hello?'' Rin spoke and waved her hand in front of your face, trying to catch your attention. You took a deep breath as you wanted to reply, but she interrupted you, ''this probably doesn't hurt you as much as it hurts us. You've always hated dad'' she rolled her eyes. She didn't understand your question.
''Yeah, as I should. I hated that rotten man with every single bone of my body and I had every fucking right to. Since everything in my life is going wrong, I wanted to ask, what's next? What's the next messed up thing that's going to happen? I just wanted to know, so I can prepare myself''
