The Rebel Queen

13

I feel myself walk through the dream world again. It is dark and cold, making me shiver. I look up and down, everywhere for a way out. I pull my arms around myself, feeling the lonely cold air around me. I look around, hoping for some sort of way out, just wanting to get this dark dream over with. 

I can see my breath, rising like white smoke from my lips and I watch as it swirls and dances through the air. I grip onto my arms and just stand there, gripping onto my arms and looking for any source of light. 

Slowly, warm arms surround me and I feel my hair being brushed off my shoulder. I tremble a moment and I feel the stranger's lips against my cheek. I feel my head loll to the side and I can feel Peeta's blonde hair in my fingers.   He kisses at my neck I feel his hand gripping the fabric of my dress in a fist. I feel strange, and completely lost, wishing for this to continue and  having complete ignorance on everything that this dream. 

"I don't," I whisper and he hushes me, kissing my lips this time, his hand resting on my shoulder, he starts to push the fabric off my shoulder and I swallow nervously. I feel him pulling at the fabric, starting to tug it off and he resumes kissing my shoulder and neck. I look up at the blank sky and feel like my insides are on fire. My legs become shaky and my body starts to give in to the dream's facade. 

I want to be touched and kissed in this gentle way. To feel his hand creeping my skirt up and reaching for what lies underneath. To feel what it is to be loved like this, body and soul. My body trembles and I will myself to give in, but my head pulls up, looking back into the endless darkness.

His hand finally reaches for me but in a dream, and having no idea about any of this, I feel nothing. I whimper and feel tears in my eyes. Why can't I give in in the real world, let myself feel love like this making my legs shake and my heart beat out of my chest. I yearn for some kind of stimulation and I reach for my lover, wanting to feel him and his desire for me pulsing against my back.

I shoot up, gasping, the vivid dream still flickering in my eyes. Peeta has his arm over my middle and he groggily makes a sound beside me. I glance at him and my rapid heartbeat starts to slow down as I realize that this arm is real and has a person I find myself caring more and more about each day. As the frustration sets in, I groan and bury my face in my hands.

What is wrong with me. Dreaming and imagining things like that. I have no business doing that, not when I've only just entered into a courtship. Not to mention the fact that I have always intended to keep my chasity intact for whomever I marry. I feel myself shiver a little, pulling up the fur around my shoulders and I sighing, the fire flickering and crackling next to me.

"What's wrong?" I hear Peeta's voice ask beside me and I shake my head.

"Nothing, just a dream," I whisper and he sits up a little, his thumb rubbing gentle circles against my ribs. 

"Your nightmares haven't come back for a little while," He says, kissing my shoulder. I shiver a little and he brushes the long hair off my shoulder. 

"It wasn't a nightmare," I say quietly, not wanting to meet his eyes and have him read me like a book.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" He asks and I am just quiet, looking at the flames. "Katniss, at least look at me." I look at my twisting and turning hands and he sighs.

"I can't," I whisper and he runs his hand down my side. 

"Why not?" he asks.

"Because my dream was," I stop and he chuckles, his finger running over my cheek.

"Oh, so this really wasn't a nightmare," He says and I can hear the smirk in his voice. I can feel my cheeks heating up and Peeta runs his hand up and down my arm and I feel like smacking him.