Lose Yourself _percico_

8.

Nico couldn't explain the emotions that he was feeling. 

All he knew was that he needed to leave.

Now. 

He urged his body to turn away from the scene in front of him and head towards the door. He didn't rush because he didn't want to seem desperate to leave. It would only draw unwanted attention. Attention he didn't want. 

But he had to get out quick. 

His stomach twisted and turned. 

If butterflies came with giddiness and nervousness, then he had a stampede of elephants trampling inside his stomach, casing recklessness and numbness. 

He set his red cup on the front porch's table and left the party. 

He didn't want to be there in the first place. 

But Percy wanted him to come along. 

It was all because of Percy. 

He wanted Nico to come and enjoy himself for a bit. 

A friend of Percy's would be home alone all weekend and since it was the last Friday of the school year, it was reason to party. 

Of course. 

Has he mentioned he would do anything for Percy Jackson? 

Perhaps not enough if someone hadn't snapped his out of his delusional denial already. He started off steady. His cup had had nothing more but water. Plain water. He wasn't here to get drunk and reveal every inch of himself to people who didn't care. His hands were in his leather jacket's pockets. His shoes drummed a beat as he walked the pavement. 

'A few more feet,' he thought bitterly. His hands tightened into fists, pinching his skin and drawing blood. His body shook with emotions he refused to let anyone see. 

Just a few more feet. He's known patience like no other. Waiting in the shadows for something he cannot have. What is another wait to add to the list? 

He broke out into a run. He ran as fast as he could. Away form the wretched house, the people, and the feelings that place made him encounter. 

He didn't look back. 

He didn't have to. 

The image was forever engraved in his head, searing and melting into his memory, making room for its' unwanted presence. It made itself comfortable, taking whatever it pleased. 

The night hung heavy, wrapping everything in its shawl. The house where the party was taking place was warm compared to the biting wind of the night. Nico grabbed a cup from the kitchen before heading into the living room. If anything, the cup would make him look less out of place than he already did. 

Nico was supposed meet Percy at the party. The latter had texted him earlier saying he had to deal with some things beforehand and he would just meet Nico there. 

The Italian, of course, asked no questions. He simply went along with it. He had never been given a reason to doubt Percy and that would certainly not start now. 

Stepping into the living room, Nico was instantly hit with a wave of drunk teenagers. It was overwhelming; bodies amongst bodies, dancing, drinking, laughing, doing who knows what. The overly sweet smell of alcohol, the clouds from the cigarettes hanging heavy in the air- it was too much. Nevertheless, Nico took a sip from his cup and stayed. 

For Percy. 

~~~~

He stopped for a brief moment, putting his hands on his knees and gasping for air. He wiped the tears that had started to form from his eyes. The adrenaline had gotten him far, but it was starting to wear off. The numbness was thawing, spreading through his body and into his veins. 

It hurt. 

It hurt so much. 

He didn't give himself any longer. He broke into a sprint again, heading back in the direction of his apartment. He wouldn't give the world the satisfaction of seeing him break down. 

Fuck them all. 

He didn't need anyone. 

He didn't need them. 

~~~~

Music echoed through the whole house. Loud, obnoxious. Nico rolled his eyes and made his way to the corner of the living room. It had enough shadows to compliment his black dress style and hide him from possible conversations. 

He pulled out his phone and sent Percy a quick text to tell him he was already there. Pulling up his playlist, he plugged in his earbuds and muffled the sounds of the world. 

He had barely gotten through the second song before getting interrupted with the crowd's loud cheering. 

With a sigh, he paused the song, inching towards the cause of the uproar. 

He was curious, sue him. 

But then again, curiosity killed the cat. 

There he was. 

In his glorious, perfect shitty self. 

Perseus fucking Jackson. 

Making out with Luke Castellan. 

Nico stood there looking like an idiot, processing the scene in front of him before turning around on his heel and walking out. 

'Idiot, idiot, fucking idiot,' he thought bitterly. He quickly switched playlists, turning it up all the way which was sure to make his deaf. 

He couldn't care less. 

He should have seen it coming. It was bound to happen. He was just too much of an idiot and too caught up in his own head to notice the signs. 

He, as well as the whole school was aware on the relationship Percy had had with Luke. They were the most toxic couple ever- constantly at each other's throats (the only time Nico would see Percy be anything other than nice) yet always finding the time to suck each others faces off in the school's hallway. Nico didn't know how they did it. It seemed too frustrating to beat around the bush, always demanding from the other yet never directly asking. 

Yet here they fucking were. 

A brief moment, yet it was etched in Nico's brain: 

Percy straddling Luke's lap, running his hands through the blonde's hair. The latter with his hands on Percy's hips as they made out, not breaking apart with the crowd's wolf whistles and uproar. 

The room seemed the cave in and grow smaller as Nico shoved his way back out of the crowd. It seemed so suffocating. All he needed was to get out. 

'Fuck them all.' 

AN// Yeah, alright, have this. It's pretty shitty but hey. It made it to 1k which is like the most I've ever written in a single chapter I think.