Mentor

"filler"

Here I was staring at abyss again, the music of conflict filled my brain and it was all because of a single person who had effortlessly made me listen to it. While I sat in the library I wondered if she was equally thinking of me or was she peacefully asleep while I was the last thing in her mind. Emotions where the sole DJ of the song that was constantly playing in my mind, how could I have not seen this coming? How have I become so blind to the point of not even seeing what was under my nose all along?
The emotion that had the strongest melody was fear, I never thought that I was afraid of love or chemistry but as I sat here thinking about Angie I realised that I was afraid. I watched my mother and father be the epitome of love, I watched them fight out of love and regardless of what they were fighting for they’d go back to bed as If nothing had happened but I also watched my mother live without the love of her life. I watched her shatter, suffer and depress simply because her lover was here and yet too far away. I didn’t want to feel the way my mother did although I had felt some pain with the loss of my father it wasn’t equal to losing someone who I had sacrificed everything that I had for.The thought of losing so much to be with someone was haunting, the ghost of sacrifice was like a faceless monster that took anyone in their way especially those who willingly sacrifice in the name of love. The faceless ghost had taken away what my mother loved the most and all she had was a memory.

Angie had woken up the ghost I was not ready to meet, this one had a face. The loveliest face anyone has ever seen and everyone wanted to see this lovely ghost but only a few could ever experience the feeling of seeing it. Angie had made me see the face of this lovely ghost, she had the most amazing smile and just thinking about her made me feel things I have never felt.

“You are thinking of her again” the ghost said.

“She is all I think about” I replied.

“Please, Angie was probably drunk” my anxiety stated, she was the meanest but a very necessary ghost.

“You are right” I said sadly.

“Just call her and talk to her” the lovely ghost said.

“I don’t think I’m ready” I said.

“Oh honey don’t do it, Angie might not be into you like that” Anxiety pitched in.

“It doesn’t even matter but it’s important for you to bear your soul to Angie” the lovely ghost said.

“That sounds nice and all but you cannot rush this, besides Angie thinks you are a big baby” Anxiety said.

“SHUT UP! BOTH OF YOU!” I said annoyingly. My mind was playing tricks with me and honestly I needed real people who would advise me properly and the only human who could stand me was Anna.

After was seemed like eternity, Anna walked in with a bottle of red wine and five packets of lays. Anna had always known what I wanted even without having to say it out loud.

“From what I heard on the phone, it’s about to get heavy” She said happily.

“Indeed” I said as she got some wine glasses and a small throw.

“So what happened?” she asked as soon as her ass was gently placed on the couch.

“I kissed Angie” I blurted out

“Wait…” her voice came with the echo of shock.

“Yep!” I knew that I sounded mortified and Anna was probably judging me at that very moment.

“Okay that is insane, how’d she win you over and how was your first kiss?”

“Honestly, I felt like sparks were flying and it was the moment that mattered most but as soon as I came to a realization I felt a cold slap of regret” I said honestly.