My Loyalty to Him [COMPLETE]

Chapter 14- The end

The morning after Mason died, everyone came to school wearing black in his honor. People put notes on his locker, laid flowers in front of it, and stopped to cry. Mental health posters were plastered around the school. He was all over the news: He's now the boy who drowned himself in the park.

We all sit in the canteen, eating. The mood has changed. Everywhere is quiet, Everyone is slow. It hit Tiffany the hardest, no one has heard her speak.

I feel a lump form in my throat but I don't want to cry. I take a deep breath but I just can't hold it in so I run to the bathroom. I lock myself in the stall and let it all out.

"Kaiser?!" I hear someone shouting.

"I'm in here!"

"It's Zoey."

I come out of the stall wiping my cheeks with a dry tissue, "yeah?"

"Are you alright?"

"I cant stop beating myself up. I killed him Zoe.. I killed him."

She starts to cry, "You didn't... don't beat yourself up."

"I don't need you to try and make me feel better, I know what I've done."

"Trust me, its not your fault."

"Yes, it is!"

"NO ITS NOT!"

"Just stop."

"Kaiser.. Tiffany did it."

"She did what?"

"I'm so sorry Kai."

"She did WHAT?!"

"She put those pictures up, she thought it would be funny... she was just trying to get back at you. I should've told you."

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Hi!

Kaiser here.

My friend Mason Davis once told me when you have a feeling so strong you can't even cope, you write it down to free yourself. I guess this is the only way I can express my pain.

I've lived in Houston for about a year now and everything has fallen apart for me. I thought that finally meeting Christian and finding love was the key to my happiness. But I got greedy, I got curious and I wanted more. I looked to Mason for things Christian could never give me and now he's gone. I used him and I left him to die. I didn't even believe him when he said he didn't do it. It was Tiffany all along but I was trying so hard to find a reason to fully remove him from my life that I ran with what I saw. I don't have room in my heart to hate her, I'll leave that to everyone else.

Mason use to say that readers are selfless but I argued they were selfish, perhaps that reflected our own attributes. All he cared about was me and all I cared about was the possibility of myself with him or Christian. Yes I do love Christian but I handled it all wrong. Things didn't need to get this far but I let it and I hurt both of them along the way.

I don't know how I will live with myself from this point on. I'm numb to the core. I can hear masons voice in my head saying, "The universe doesn't give us anything we can't handle." He was a pure soul.

I have thoughts crowding my brain. What if I never talked to mason? What if I picked him? What if I didn't pick him or Christian? What if I Believed him?  How will I ever face tiffany? How will I tell Christian I'm pregnant?