my only sunshine//hodaka x reader

chapter 2: hodaka

hodaka has eyes that look so soft and warm that it almost feels like the brown of eyes could drip down his face like caramel. they were so welcoming and kind i wanted to get close to his face so i could look at them all day, study them, admire them. but i can't do that. because hodaka is in love with hina. i can't really blame him. she's naturally beautiful, and one of the sweetest people i know. plus, she was the sunshine girl. she's special. i'm not. 

hodaka has been my best friend since 2nd grade. and in 3rd, I fell in love with him. his smile. the way he blushes. the way he speaks to me in his gentle voice. everything about him was almost a dream. except in this dream, he didn't love me back. 

we were walking out of school when hina caught his eye. i could already see his cheeks flush, and he hung his head a little low. i playfully elbow him, and he looks at me with a forced smile. hina has always made him nervous. i wish i could make him nervous sometimes. 

he perked up when hina gave him a big smile and a little wave. he just awkwardly waved back. what a dork. 

we stopped at my house and he looked up at my two-story home. he looked back down at me. 

"happy birthday y/n." 

i smiled at him, gazing into his eyes. but i stopped myself. i cant do this. i cant have him. no miracle could give me what i want. its just inevitable.

"well...i'll see you tomorrow." i said, rocking back and forth on my feet. 

"see ya y/n" he waved as he walked down the sidewalk. after a minute i noticed i was still standing there, watching hodaka walk down the street. i shook my head and ran up to my front door and went inside. 

i was tackled with two hugs, my parents were singing happy birthday and i almost died of shock. my mom let go to grab a birthday cake off the table as they sang and sat me down at the dinner table. i blew out the candles, like i always have. but i didnt wish for anything. i never have. my wishes cant come true. 

after presents, my parents told me. 

they told me somewhere out in this world there was a person made to be with me, and soon i would find them by a force that would draw us together. i went to bed that night, making up different people in my head, and different scenarios of meeting them. i considered every person in my class, how much of a match each of them and i would be. i went through every person, skipping one. i've thought about hodaka and i together plenty of times. so many times that now, it's just pointless. 

chapter 3 coming soon ;)