So it goes ✔

[20]

We passed my mum in the living room, smiling sadly at each other at the unspoken truth. She knew. We knew. Everyone knew it and that what makes it sucks!

I held onto Luke's hand as we walked up to my room, opening and closing the door quietly, afraid to break the invisible but fragile glass that surrounded us.

I changed into my nightwear and so did he, causing another sad smile to form on my face. We just dated for a month, but he got his clothes at my house as I did at his house. We shared clothes more often than not that I don't even remember which one is mine and which is his.

We crawled onto the bed and it was in my second-nature to curl-up and cuddled close to him. He gave me that soft smile of his, wrapping his strong arms around my waist comfortably. I smiled back at him, rubbing our noses together and giggling softly.

"Why do you have to be so cute, hm?"

"Me?"

"Of course, you"

"Um... I don't know, you tell me" I playfully said.

"I could go on and on and on about how cute you are and what makes you so goddamn cute,"

"And I could listen to it again and again and again though I know I'll end up being a blushing mess,"

"That. One of the many, many reasons why you're so cute,"

"Blushing?"

"Being down to earth. You have no idea how cute and perfect you are and you always respond to compliments in the most adorable way ever,"

"Shut up, you just make me fall even harder for you,"

"Eh, I'm not complaining," He said, smirking smugly which caused me to punch his chest lightly. He chuckled at my poor attempt of hiding my embarrassment, before leaning over to kiss my forehead.

"I love you,"

"I love loving you,"

"Promise me that we won't avoid each other after this,"

"You know that I won't, Luke. I could never do that to you even if you force me to,"

"Good, because I won't ask you to do that,"

"I'm glad you won't," I smiled up at him, but then leant in to peck his soft lips.

He squeezed my hips softly, bringing my body closer to him. I gladly deepened the kiss, crawling onto his body and tilting my head to the side. I could feel the smile on his lips and I can't help but smile as well.

We leant in again and our lips collided in the most beautiful way out there. It was passionate but still gentle and full of love, just exactly like how we felt for one another.

My love for him is spontaneous. It just happens as time goes by that I didn't even realise what it was before. I never knew this whole deal could lead me to feel something that I've never felt before, but I certainly am glad that I could experience it with someone as genuine as Luke. He's such a golden heart.

Sure, I did love Calum and maybe I still do as well, but this feeling towards Luke, I could tell that it was much, much more than that. The thing is, I know I can't really act on it.

When Monday morning comes, he won't be mine anymore. He'll be Michael's again and I'll be Calum's. Or that's how it was supposed to be. Sure we would still be friends because we promised each other that, but if I was being honest; I don't think we'll ever be just friends after this amazing 31 days of being a couple.

It just feels so wrong to be "just friends" with him after the amazing hours we spent together. It just feels so wrong to be "just friends" with someone that we love, moreover when we know that, that someone, also love us just as much (if not more).

This is what I feared the most.
I don't want this to happen. I don't want things to be this complicated.
I want Luke, but I can't have him completely because that'd be like stealing my brother's boyfriend. He wants me, but he can't have me because that's like betraying his best friend's trust.

I hate feeling when it makes things complicated like this.
Why does it have to make things complicated?
Wasn't love supposed to makes you feel alive and happy?

I squeezed my eyes shut, trying my best to stop the thought and just savouring the feeling of Luke's lips moving with mine. I parted my lips slowly and granted him the entrance, he gladly takes it and roamed my mouth with his tongue. A soft moan passed my lips, causing another smile to spread on his gorgeous face.

"You're so beautiful, do you know that?"

"You're one to talk, Hemmings,"

"No, I meant it. You're beautiful, Ash. Inside and out, you truly are."

"Sure, sure,"

"If anybody ever tells you otherwise, don't believe them, okay?"

"..."

"Okay!?"

"Yes, Luke," I said, giggling at how persistent he is, it's adorable. I pecked his lips again but he suddenly flipped us around and I shrieked loudly.

"You're way too cute, I can't resist you,"

"Is that a yes to my previous request?" I teasingly asked.

"Do you still want to?"

"Only if you want to,"

"Well then, these need to be off, love" He tugged on my shirt and I quickly raised my hands for his to slip the shirt off.

Things escalated really quickly. One thing led to another and I was now panting and moaning his name as he was pounding into me gently yet still harshly.

"Lu-Lukey... close,"

"Me too, fuck"

I pulled him down by his neck, hiding my face completely in the junction of his shoulder to muffle my moans. I bitted down the skin slightly, limbs went tensed before my orgasm washed over my body. Luke groaned into my ear before he released into me.

He collapsed on top of mine, both of us breathing heavily from the previous event.

"Thank you," I whispered out softly as I carded his hair with my fingers.

"No, thank you. I love you so much, you wouldn't understand,"

"I love you too, Lu, I really do,"

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Ya all probably hates me

I'm so sorryyy
But it needs to be done 😭

It's just the beginning actually
So buckle up and get ready 😉

I love ya all
See you in next chappie
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