Kilgrave's second chance

A gig

One year later...

Kilgrave Pov

I kept my word.

It's been a year since I last saw my love. I promised I would never do anything to stand in her way, to hurt her again. I missed her dearly every day. I was a shadow of myself. Jessica would probably laugh if she saw me, I knew now how whiskey can get you through the night or day. I have tried to meet up with women in my usual style but all of them seemed plain, dull, uninteresting. I couldn't stand them. I couldn't be satisfied by any of them no matter how similar to Alice they were. I finnaly gave up after embarassing myself in front of them.

I only wanted Alice Ruth in my life and I knew I could never have her again. My life was going down the hill and I had no strengh or motivation to stop it.

I was too cowardly to end my own existence. Also she safed it, so I valued my life. It was the only physical memory left. I had to move houses so nothing would remind me of her.

I was lost and I felt like I were a stranger even to my own reflection.

Another cold December night. I roamed around the city, looking for comfortable spot to have a drink. Alone. It was getting really cold and I had no mood for anything specific so I decided to simply enter the nearest late night cafe. Warm lights were peeking on the street just around the corner and I thought as long as they had expencive Blue Label whiskey, I would come in no matter how filthy it was. I stepped inside lazily and took a look at the bar shelf behind the counter. Blue Label was standing on the top, all dusty like none had ever ordered it. 'What can I get you, sir?' the bartender spoke up and I replied mechanically 'Double Blue Label on the rocks' I put some cash in his hand and sat on the high chair, getting to know my surroudings, while my order was being made. It wasn't half bad. There were couple of tables and a small stage for amatour concerts, I suppose. The lights were nicely dimmed, walls were a dark shade of red, not in agressive way. Just cozy and warm. I sighed a little as he put the alcoholic drink in front of me. I suspended my gaze on the cubes of ice drawning in golden liquid. I didn't even know if I felt like drinking it. 'Everything all right with your order, sir?' bartender spotted concern on my face and I lifted my eyes up with a struggle. My eyelids felt heavy.

'I've never been here before' I heard myself replying. Was I making a small talk now? Who the hell was I... The man scoffed shortly and pointed at the stage 'You don't look so jolly. Maybe the gig will cheer yer up' he grinned at me, kindly I would say. 'A gig?' I asked and he just nodded when soft music started playing in the background. I wasn't interested at first, until I heard the singer's voice.

Her voice.

'Alice' I whispered, almost falling off the chair when I turned around, slowly. Fearing any rapid movement would make me realise I am dreaming in drunken sleep. But no, this was real. She was there, as real as a day. She looked different. Her curves were tightly hugged by a dress of blood red shade, nearly black but with a hint of red. Her hair were heavily styled into curls with a lot of volume. She was wearing more make up than usually, with red lipstick and dark shadow on her eyelids. She looked beautiful and confident. I stared with my mouth opened as she stepped down from the stage with the speaker in her hand, she was interracting with the audience, leaning down by some tables, rocking her hips to the music. And then her eyes met mine and I tried to look away but she already spotted me and sent me the most flirtatious look I could ever deserve. My breath hitched, was it part of the play? Or did she remember me? I had to leave soon. The last thing I wanted was to trigger her memory and make her remember how much harm I caused her. But I couldn't. I sat there like enchanted, didn't even remember to drink and the ice completely melted, watering down expencive spirit in my glass. All I could set my eyes on was her. Oh I missed her more than I ever missed anyone. I yearned for her company, her smile, her flowery scent.