Everything's Changing

6 - Phil

They let me sit in one of the chairs in the room as they stitched his his arm up.

“It’ll only be another twenty minutes or so,” a kind nurse reassured me.

“Alright, thanks.” I said, and looked back to Dan, giving him a small smile.

Before I knew it, we were back at the flat. [A/N: I was having huge writer’s block there :P]

“Do you want anything? Tea?” I asked Dan as he stumbled onto the couch.

“No thanks. Can we just watch Buffy and relax?”

“Yeah of course. Let me just go change into my pyjamas really fast,” I said, and went into my room. I pulled off my hoodie and my tshirt, to get into something more comfortable.

Just as I opened the wardrobe to get some clothes out, I saw the pack of spare razors sitting on the top shelf. Just once. To see how Dan feels. Why not? A couple cuts won’t hurt. And I’ll never touch them again. I grabbed the packet down from the shelf and pulled a razor blade out. I shuffled over to my chair and sat. Why would this even help? I wondered as I prepared.

“For Dan,” I whispered as I slid the sharp blade against my pasty skin. I looked down at my arm. Nine thin red lines scattered across my left forearm. I stared at them, thinking about how much pain Dan must’ve been going through to want to do this. I heard a thumping on my door, and rushed around to hide the blade. I threw it into the drawer in my nightstand and quickly put my pyjamas on.

“Phil, are you finished yet?”

“Yeah hang on a second.” I threw on a pair of mismatched socks and stumbled out into the hallway.

“What took you so long?” Dan asked as he walked down the hall back to the lounge.

“I couldn’t find my sweatpants,” I lied. He could never find out about me cutting. It would probably make his worse.

“Alright. Back to Buffy now,” he said, flopping back down on the couch. I sat down gently next to him and out my arm around his slim shoulders. He nestled into the crook of my arm and rest his head on my shoulder. We lay like that for a few hours, while we both drifted off into sleep.