February 18, 2019 Day 364
Hajime,
I wasn't ready to say goodbye to you. Goodbye to a world that has something as truly brilliant and beautiful as you in it.
I wasn't ready to say goodbye to it then, but I am now.
All I ever wanted was you, Iwa-chan. I just want to hear you call me Shittykawa or sunshine or Tooru just one more time.
All I wanted was you, and now I'll never fucking have you.
I've spent the last four nights here in your room. Your pillows still smell like you. Your clothes are still comfortably worn out, and I've been wearing them every day.
I'm gonna wear the suit you always liked best on me tomorrow. I know that you went out in style, so I might as well join you in the same fashion.
I hope that there is an afterlife, or perhaps a reincarnation where I can meet you again. If there is a rebirth, I hope that we meet each other in every life we're permitted. I never want to live without you again.
Tomorrow is the big day, Iwa-chan. I'm coming home, finally. I'm not scared anymore. I wrote a note to everyone who needs one. Suga, Akaashi, Tendou, Shoyo, Tobio, Mattsun and Makki, our moms, everyone.
I'm sorry I couldn't hold on any longer.
I love you so much, Iwa-chan. I can't wait to join you in the stars.
I can't wait to come home to you.
I love you, so incredibly much.
Your sunshine
YOU ARE READING
365 Days || Iwaoi
FanfictionIn which Iwaizumi Hajime is dead and Oikawa Tooru writes him a letter every day for 365 days, blaming himself the whole way. TW: major character death, anxiety, self-harm, suicide, hospitals, drinking, drugs