Hurt {Clifford}

I've Hurt An Ignorant Girl

Journal Entry 2

She brought it up again.

It's like she wants me to know that I've hurt her in some type of way.

"I'm glad you said no, I know more things now." She said

I looked at her in confusion and asked, "What things."

She smiled and looked around, as if she was annoyed by talking to me.

"Just things, it's OK you don't need to know."

What does that even mean? Why does she want me to feel like this?

"Then why would you bring it up?" I questioned with a confused look on my face.

Her face crumpled. Her nose scrunched up and she scowled at me.

"Why are you even talking to me? Like, why do you want to be friends anyways? Do you just feel bad for me or something?"

I looked at her like she was crazy, just the other day she was hugging me after I confronted her and told her I was sorry and that I still wanted to be friends; why was she so mad?

She started to storm off down the side walk. I could feel the cold icy trail she was leaving behind for me. I didn't stop her, I let her go. I acted like I didn't care and added, yet another, sad, breaking emotion to the dark pits of my head. I bottled it up and now it would never come out again.

I felt my eyes droop slightly as I started to walk home. I shoved my head phones in my ears and blocked out everyone. I wish I could block out myself sometimes, maybe I would make better choices. I could block out the idiotic voice in my head and think clearly for once. Maybe in the future they'll have, like, drugs that clear your mind. . . Wait, I think that's what weed is for.

I should try weed, maybe i'll be happier. 

I'll try anything to not be me.