What one can hide

Chapter One- The Run Down

Trigger warnings- drinking, drugs, cursing

Tommy didn't remember a lot from his childhood. He knew he moved a few times, he knew he used to love trying out all different kinds of sports, he knew his mother had left when he was young, all the usual things that happen to kids.

Tommy didn't know this, but he repressed a lot of the bad memories due to trauma. The only bad memories he had from before the age of 10 were the ones his mom had told him by accident. That was, before she left. He knew his dad, even when Tommy was a kid, always had a big problem with drinking. It was the reason his mother had left them, and he didn't blame her. He would do the same if he could.

The one thing he did remember was the final point that made Tommy's mother finally leave. She had called his father to pick up some paper work from Tommy's school, not knowing at the time that he was already drunk. Tommy remembers seeing his father come into his room and tell him to get in the car. Being too young at the time to see what a mess his father was, he cheerfully got in the backseat of his drunken fathers car, excited to go for a drive.

After a little while of driving, Tommy had started to get a little nervous. Not because he had eaten too many sweets beforehand and was feeling sick, like he usually did. No, no, no. It was different this time. There was a pit in his stomach, like he knew something was off and something bad was about to happen. It started when he had noticed his dad had gone the complete wrong way and couldn't stay on the correct side of the road. The panic in his young mind started to grow. He hadn't known why his dad was driving so fast and carelessly and why his dad couldn't remember the way to his school, though he has has driven him countless times. What Tommy didn't know at the time was that his father was too drunk to remember the way, and too drunk to realize he was driving so recklessly.

"What are you doing!" Tommy had yelled as his father had continued to drive faster and curse as himself. At this point, there were tears running down his face uncontrollably as the fear took over him. His father replied with silence and he turned down a road he had not recognized. Tommy continued to scream from the back seat of the car. "Please just take me home!" he shouted as he held his blanket that he took everywhere he went. His body racked with sobs as he noticed his father only getting angrier at the world. He could do nothing but sit and watch as he father drove like he had never driven a car before. He didn't even have a phone yet to call anyone, he was only a child.

It was almost as if Tommy hadn't recognized the man that was driving him anymore. He had never seen his father, who he had looked up to, in such a manic way. Tommy cried in the backseat of the car and his dad continued driving. Eventually his dad had given up on finding the school once it became dark outside. After quite a while, they had managed to find their way back home and quickly, the young child jumped out of the car and ran inside, legs shaking, knowing his mother would've gotten home from work by now.

He ran through his yard to his front door, with his mess of a father just beginning to stumble out of the car. He ran inside to see his concerned looking mother sitting at the kitchen table.

"Finally!" she shouted, worry lacing her words, "Why hasn't your father answered any of my calls? I must have called him at least-" Her sentences quickly ended as she had seen how traumatized her son had looked. "What happened?" she asked as even more worry spread across her face. As if answering her question, right on time the man that made Tommy fear for his life had practically fallen through the door.

"Are you fucking kidding me," Tommy's mom mumbled under her breath, directed at the man she can't believed she had married. She knew he had problems with drinking, but didn't know just how bad it was, she could smell the alcohol just as he entered the house. She turned to her clearly frightened son and told him to go up to his room.

Tommy, still scared and not wanting to argue, listened to his mother and he crept up to his bedroom. Once he got to his room, he snuck into his bed as more tears ran down his cheeks. He held on tightly to his tattered blanket as he tried to listen in on what was going on downstairs, trying to find an explanation for why his dad was acting so strange.

"Not only did you endanger our son by putting him in the car with you while you are completely wasted, but you are high off your ass on sleeping pills!" He quite clearly heard his mother yell all the way from downstairs. The young child had just squeezed his eyes shut and tried his best to fall asleep. After a while, he heard his front door slam shut and only heard silence after that.

While Tommy didn't remember much from his childhood, he remembered that night so clearly, engraved in his brain forever. Not only was that the last night he had seen his mother, before she left him alone with his father, but it was the night he learned the truth about the man he had looked up to for the first few years of his life. He learned his father wasn't the man he had known him to be, but was nothing but a mess who drank his life away and abused sleeping pills. A man who had chosen alcohol and drugs over his family.

Ever since his mom left, Tommy's dad's drinking had only gotten worse. After a few years, he finally realized how bad it had gotten and his dad went to rehab. For two years, not a single ounce of alcohol was consumed by his father. Tommy felt proud of his dad, thinking maybe things would finally get better. But, his break from alcohol wasn't all that great. His dad did nothing all day, just sitting on his couch watching tv as his son took care of him. The only time his dad wasn't watching tv was when he was yelling at Tommy, even sometimes hitting him across the face, yelling at his son that he deserved it, and Tommy felt like he had.

Sadly, the anti-drinking phase his dad was going through didn't last very long as he fell back into his old ways. Once the drinking came back, the hitting only got worse. More frequent and more painful. Tommy was 16 now, he wasn't stupid. He knew fathers weren't supposed to hit their sons, but deep down he felt like he did kind of deserve what was happening to him. His dad was depressed and an alcoholic, he didn't mean all the rude things he said. And Tommy was loud a lot, and didn't do very well in school. So maybe it was just karma, for making his dad's life harder.

A/N

Hey everyone!! I just thought I'd put this in here and say a few things lol. This is the first fanfic I have ever written so please please please leave some tips/suggestions/advice or anything like that. I have a little bit of a story line written out, but I would love to hear what you guys have to say and I would totally be willing to make some changes and add something in if I see something I like. Just thought I'd say that this story is very angsty, but no sexual things will happen, because Tommy is a minor and that stuff makes me uncomfy. Also, sorry if this first chapter is a little weird, it is my first time writing and a big part of this chapter was what I experienced, but it was hard trying to alter it to fit the character, so sorry if it felt off! Also, this chapter was just from his childhood, so you get to see a little bit of what he went through Also, of course I never wish for any of this to happen to Tommy, or anyone for that matter, this is purely for entertainment purposes. I will try my best to put trigger warnings on each chapter, but please feel free to let me know if I missed any! Okay, that is it for now, thank you for reading! There will be plenty more chapters to come!