I waited.. and waited. Until I got my chance.
Kaya lang...
'Yung ang tagal mong naghintay, tapos nakuha lang ng iba.
---x---
Music: Leave Your Lover - Sam Smith and Stuck - Darren Espanto
He never fails to make me feel like this.
Nandito ako sa school gym. May laro ang basketball team laban sa ibang school. I'm not an athletic person, pero nahilig ako manood ng basketball dahil sa kaniya.
Sino nga ba ang lalaking pinapanood ko ngayon? Walang iba kundi si Silver. He's my crush.. Well, I don't know if it's love or like. I've felt this feeling towards him a year ago.
Bakit ko nga ba siya nagustuhan? Ewan ko rin. Basta isang araw, there's something unexplainable that made me attracted to him. Ang alam ko lang, naiinspire ako pumasok araw-araw dahil sa kaniya. Kinikilig ako kapag aksidenteng nagtama ang paningin namin o kung malapit siya o kung kinausap niya ako (which rarely happens). Nasasaktan ako kapag may kasama siyang babae at doon nakatuon ang atensyon niya.
I was actually distracted because of him noong mga unang buwan na gusto ko siya. Bumaba ang grade ko at bumaba ang rank ko sa top 10. Until I realized na dapat pala gawin ko siyang inspiration, hindi distraction. Ayon, gumana naman. In fact, nakasama ako sa top 5 and I'm aiming for a higher rank, since I'm already a senior.
I stared at him as he shoot the ball to the ring. Ang galing talaga niya. Gwapo pa at gentleman. Kaya maraming babae na baliw sa kanya. His chinito eyes are cute. He's tall, kayumanggi at mayaman. Mukha siyang suplado at minsan lang siya ngumiti. Pero minsan ko na siyang nakitang nakangiti kasama ng tropa niya. And I might say, he's attractive as hell. Dagdag mo pa 'yung malalim niyang dimples. Nakakalaglag panty!
Pero ang hopeless ng case ko. No one knows what I feel, even Lia, my best friend. And it's hard to keep my feelings...
***
What should I do?
Humahagulgol si Lia. Yakap-yakap ko siya. She's heartbroken. Nasasaktan siya. Her pretty face is now covered with tears. She and her boyfriend, Iñigo, decided to break up.
I can sympathize with her. Nasaksihan ko ang love story nila. Sa tagal na nila, ako ang kasama ni Lia kapag may problema silang dalawa. But in spite of that, they didn't split up. Ito na ata ang pinakamalala, well, mainly the reason why they broke up.
"Hush, Lia. Maybe it's just meant to be. I know it hurts, pero kung kayo talaga, magiging kayo rin. Ulit." I patted her back. Naaawa ako sa kaniya. Her cheerful eyes aren't visible anymore. They're broken.
"Hindi ba niya maintindihan? Mahal ko siya but he's so.... Urgh! Isn't that enough?!" Aniya.
"Kawalan niya 'yun. Stop crying. He's not worth of your tears." I said calmly
"Thank you, Essa. I'm so lucky to have you..." she muttered and fell asleep dahil sa kapaguran.
***
It was the chance I had.
Why would I miss an opportunity to be with him? Maybe it was only the chance I had, so I grabbed it.
We become acquainted. Thanks to Celina, our mutual friend of mine. I had the chance to talk to him. There was the usual with our friend circle.
But when they talked about lovelives, I kept silent. Maybe because ayaw ko magpahalata. I squirmed and kept glancing at him.
When my friends (Celina's group of friends) teased him with some girl, it was killing me. I looked away, ugh! Why am feeling jealous? Tanga, tanga, tanga! He doesn't know what you feel and he doesn't care about what you feel! Wala kang karapatan at wala kang puwang sa buhay niya.
