The Quest for Fireworks

Hey Jealousy

We make it over to Concourse and, despite the huge burger and the fact that I only had two drinks, I still feel tipsy. But here we have another specially curated menu for drinks and appetizers and I can't say no when Riley hands me a martini glass full of pink liquid.
Concourse is basically a playground for adults. There's ball pits and weird photo ops everywhere. The dance floor is big tiles lit from underneath like in Saturday Night Fever.
Riley rented us a VIP table with a private ball pit. On my way to the table, someone grabs me around my waist and whispers in my ear, "hey birthday girl."
I spin around quickly, almost spilling my drink and see Corinne, tight black t-shirt, tight jeans and no glasses. Her curly hair is pulled into a single braid down her back.
"Hi," I manage to get out before she slips her arm around my back and escorts me to the table.
This is what Corinne has going for her. She's polite and caring and chivalrous. She's charming and that's what pulls you in, little do you know she's charming everyone else too.
We show up behind everyone else and once they all see us, everyone makes the same shocked face. My attention goes to Megan when she narrows her eyes at me in mock jealousy.
"Corinne, everyone. Everyone, Corinne," I say, introducing her quickly and awkwardly.
Corinne tips her non-existent hat and even though it should be cringey, the shape of her hand is hot.
Corinne deftly grabs the glass from my hand and sets it on the table before taking my hand in hers and leading me away. She leads me to the ball pit and we stand at the edge, hands still entangled.
"Ready?" She asks and it reminds me of another time she asked for permission.
I nod. Corinne holds up three long fingers, puts them down one by one and then we jump.
It's not like jumping into a pool, I don't get completely submerged but the squishy landing is just as invigorating. I lay back and pretend I'm floating, though I don't move. A ball hits me lightly in the face and I look over to see Corinne with a mischievous grin on her face.
I pick up one and throw it at her but her reflexes are too good and she catches it. I pick up another one and try again but she bats it away, moving closer to me. I keep trying and failing until she's close enough to grab my wrist and stop me.
Before I can realize what's happening, she leans down and presses her lips to mine. It's unexpected and a tiny piece of me thinks it's a bad idea but it feels good.
She pulls away and brushes her thumb across my cheek. "I missed you," she says and a volcano erupts in my stomach.
"You did not," I say, laughing, trying to push away the excitement I feel.
"I did," she says, moving to look in my eyes. "My bed is empty without you."
"I'm sure you could find someone else to fill it," I say, still deflecting.
"Hey," she says, brows furrowed. "I'm being honest here."
"Sorry," I say, wiggling out of her arms. "I have to pee." Second time tonight I'm using this excuse but I have to get some distance, clear my head.
I get myself out of the ball pit and lock eyes with Jordan. I feel like he looks disappointed but couldn't say for sure.
Riley comes up next to me and links her arm through mine, telepathically figuring out where I'm going. "Having fun?" She asks, a lilt to her voice.
"You saw?"
"Babe, we all saw," she says.
I feel mortified. So many things are going through my head. I hope Dakota feels jealous. I hope Megan isn't mad. I have no idea what Jordan must think.
When we leave the bathroom, I'm dreading going back to the group.
"I need help," I say to Riley, who raises an eyebrow at me. "Liquid help."
She nods once in recognition and pulls me toward the bar. "We need birthday shots."
"I don't know about that," I say but she's already leaning across the bar and ordering Lorde knows what.
Seconds later there's four shot glasses in front of us. "What's all this?" Riley asks.
The bartender points down the bar to a guy who's leaning forward and looking directly at us. He's cute, completely Riley's type. "He said to double it," the bartender explains.
I look at Riley skeptically, as to say "you know I'm not taking both of these, right?".
"Come on, Ave, it's your birthday!"
"No it's not, my birthday is Monday," I correct her.
She rolls her eyes and picks up one of the small glasses. I pick one up and tap it to hers before throwing it back. It burns but the aftertaste isn't terrible.
Riley picks up the other glass and gestures for me to do the same. "The quicker you do it, the better it tastes."
I don't believe her but I can't leave her hanging. I pick up the last shot, clink it against hers and drink.
"Liar," I say once I swallow.
"I know," she says, making a pained face.
Riley shakes her head and composes her features before leaning up and looking down the bar again at the guy who bought us shots. He's still looking.
"Go," I say. "I can't be the only one that gets any action around here."
Riley looks back at me and we laugh. "Are you sure?"
"Yeah, just come find me in twenty minutes so I know you haven't been kidnapped. I'm going to go sit with the girls."
Riley hugs me. "I hope you're having fun, you deserve it."
"Don't start, I just injected alcohol into my tear ducts, it won't take much to get them flowing," I say, letting go of her. "But thank you, I'm having a great time."
"Yeah, we'll see what you think in the morning," she says before winking and walking away.
When I get back to the table I go to the other side where Aria and Sierra are sitting.
"Where's Meg?" I ask, taking her seat.
"Dancing," Sierra says, quickly.
I watch Aria's eyes move to the dance floor and I see Megan, with Corinne. Megan's back is pressed against Corinne's front and they're moving together to the beat of the song.
"Oh," I say, trying my best to hide my jealousy. "Living out her high school fantasy."
"That's all it is," Sierra says. "You know that."
"No, no, I'm proud of her. Good for her."
I watch them for a few more seconds before I start to feel sick. The shots must have hit my blood stream.
I look across the table and realize it's empty. No Dakota or Jordan. "Do you know where they went?" I ask, pointing to the empty seats.
Aria points to the ball pit. I look over and see them laughing and throwing balls at each other. Having fun. I think about joining them but it looks like a private moment.
I can't help but remember that they have a past that includes more than just friendship. I don't know to what extent and it's none of my business but still I feel jealous.
Jealousy isn't exactly a new feeling for me but it sure is the dominant emotion tonight. And with the alcohol in my system, it threatens to turn into sadness.
I reach across the table for the martini I hadn't finished and chug the entire thing. I set the glass down a little too hard.
"You know, I really love you guys," I say to Sierra and Aria. "I don't deserve your friendship."
"Oh boy," Sierra mutters.
"Yes you do," Aria says. "We love you, so much. You've been there for us through a lot, of course we're going to be here for you."
"I abandoned you."
"We knew where you were," Sierra says. "We didn't do that good of a job checking in with you either."
"Yeah, we should've swooped in and saved you from that monster a long time ago," Aria says, wrapping her arm around my shoulders.
I can't help it, the first tear falls. My emotions are heightened and truly I haven't cried in a while so it didn't take much to break the dam.
"I'm not worth saving. I'm not even worth choosing," I say, gesturing to the ball pit and the dance floor.
"Stop, this is the alcohol talking," Sierra says, leaning up to rub my arm.
"Drunk mind, sober thoughts," Aria tries to whisper to Sierra but I hear her.
I hear my voice but I'm not sure I'm making any words. My body feels light and my head feels heavy. I suddenly feel like I need to lay down or get some air.
"I don't feel good," I say.
"Oh," Sierra exclaims, standing up the same time Aria does. "You want to go outside or to the bathroom?"
"Outside," I mumble.
In no time, they're both on either side of me practically carrying me to the door. The summer breeze washes over me as soon as I step outside and for a moment I feel better.
From seemingly out of thin air, Riley appears. "What's wrong, what happened?" She asks.
"I think it all just hit her," Sierra explains.
It did all just hit me. Everything, the alcohol, the feelings, the sadness. This is why I don't drink, it makes me feel everything, including sickness.
My stomach rolls and I know what's about to happen. I turn myself toward the building and try to walk as far away from people as I can. I don't know how far I make it when the contents of the night come back to visit and then everything goes black.