the plans for today (a phineas & ferb fanfiction)

what is going on

(phneasi)

seeing my friends giant trouser snake definitely affected me in a way. i stood up and went into the kitchen, this time eating my soggy cereal for real. new perry had pooped. i cleaned it up, ate it and decided to confront doofenshmirtz. i had heard mom say he could be my father because she had an orgy 9 months before i was born, but besides that information scarred me for life, i did not think so. 

i picked up new perry and headed out. on my way, i decided to name new perry Pimple so that if he ever dies it will probably just be pus instead of wine. 

♫ Doofenshmirtz evil incorporated ♫

"why does it always sound like that whenever i pass by?" "stop there loser" i froze. i could feel vehind me was bufors with his giand shaft. the pee smell was just like the popsicle. "what do you think you are doing" he saids, coming closer and eventually his tonk gently touched my back. i gagged and turned around. i gagged again and turned around againg and pinched my nose. "do you even know what hygiene is?" "you know i can make this bad boy explode any time i want" i threw up in my mouth. "what do you have there" he said, pointing to pimple. "its- uh... nothing, just my rug" "bullshit excuses" he shouted. a millisecond later i was flying through the air and crashed onto a building. he had hit me with incredible force with his loom. pimple was in the middle of the street. "pimple!" i yelled, trying to pick him up but buford was already stanting 10 feet in front of me, his schlong making space between us. "you are not going anywhere" "what do you want from me!" i screamed in desperation, clumsily trying to stand up. "your sister" "you will never have her. she is safe locked inside her room. you can have her once i kill her first" "ok deal, how much do you want?" he said comfortably. "hm. maybe like 2 dollars? is it too much? "nah dude, here you go" his wiener instantly shrinked and awkwardly walked towards me, handing me 2 warm dollar bills. "uh, thanks" "you tell me when you kkkk" he said, mimicking as if he were cutting his neck open and walked away. "that was a close one" i murmured, picking up pimple. 

the automatic doors in the giant building of doofemshtizr welcomed me. i went in the elevator and pressed the highest floor. the smell of marighuana kept getting stronger with every floor. when the doors opened, i saw doofekrna kissing a tall man with turbulent eyes and mckarlxs  fidgeting and muttering. "what is going on here" i said, interrupting the scene. "vAT aRe you doing heRe young boy" doofemdn seemed angery. the tall man shrank forthwith into real perry. "PERRY?! HOW DID YOU-" "grgrggrggrggrgrrg". i ran approaching him to hold him but dentalmist stopped me. "you do NAT touch hem!" "but sir, its my pet!" "i dont ckeergh. yu go ghome" he turned around and did a double look. "wEit, peGHRRY, that could be ouR son!" eh isasid, pointign to pimple. doom tried to violently snatch him but i held on to him.