Heliophilia; d.m

XX

Between.
Between good and evil.
Between the heart and the mind.
Between what happened before and what will happen next.
Between north and south.
Between life and death.

We were somewhere in between. And we didn't have a chance to choose between this and that. We were drawn by the strongest attraction to what we most did not want.

Maybe a black hole isn't so scary anymore?

VIOLET

During August, Draco spent time with me periodically, and it seemed I couldn't be happier when I saw him. Sometimes could only come for a short time, sometimes he would come for the whole day and even stay overnight — every second spent next to him, in his arms, was precious to me.

I was glad to see him, but I couldn't help noticing that each time he came, he was more and more exhausted, with a weak smile and a soft laugh, with a heavy look and a downcast voice. Something was going on with him, but every time I asked him about it, he changed the subject, saying that everything was fine.

"The birds are already awake, and you're still asleep." He used to say that when he came in in the morning and found me lying in bed, my hair disheveled and my eyes sleepy.

"Good night, see you in a dream." He used to say that when he left in the nights, and I would see him off, lying in bed again, watching as he quietly closed the door and his footsteps moved away from my room.

He tried to hold on while he was with me, but I could see things in his eyes that I didn't know, along with the pain and indifference. He seemed to have lost all the colors of his life, and the last drops of himself he gave me to make me feel better. And he succeeded.

Every day I looked forward to going to Mariel's again, and I paced the living room with anticipation, waiting for my father to let me go there. But he wasn't stupid — it wasn't hard to guess that I was attracted to Mariel by something special... someone special.

And one day we got caught.

On a rainy day at the end of August, he burst into the room with a wild, furious look, and without saying a word, he grabbed my hand and the next second we were in our house. This was the last day I saw Draco and Mariel, this was the last day I had the opportunity to spend time outside the four walls of my room. And that day, the sky mourned me again, drumming protestingly on the roof, in time with my heartbeat. But I couldn't do anything but wait.

— Wait for the storm outside to die down, wait for my father to calm his inner storm, wait for Christmas to come, and my father would let me at least spend the holiday with my aunt.

And I waited— waited patiently, when the last sun of that autumn rose, when the seasons changed, and instead of the golden carpet of fallen leaves, the first snowdrifts appeared under my window. I waited until Christmas, but it turned out that everything was in vain. My father was adamant, and I lost all hope that I could have escaped from that captivity for the rest of my mortal life.

Every day was like the previous one— filled with silence and despair that drove me crazy. It seemed to me that I had forgotten how to speak, think, breathe... live.
I just existed, like a shell left over from the previous, real Violet; and I just kept waiting. Waiting for what? I didn't know, probably a miracle.

That little miracle that happened on Christmas Day, when Mariel came with a gift box tied with a huge shiny bow. It was my gift from her, a notebook with sheets of pale lilac parchment, and a gold quill. And at the bottom of the box was a letter from Draco.