"He always make me laugh."
Days passed with Lance and Shania being a constant scenery in our house. Gustong gusto din kasi ni Mommy si Shania at natutuwa ito para kay Lance dahil isang mabuting babae daw ang girlfriend nito.
Honestly, I've been trying so hard to appear normal to both of them, to everyone. I talked, ate, laughed and played with them like a normal bestfriend should do. In the whisk of twilight, I'll just be in my room, sulking to death, thinking that I really have lost my bestfriend to Shania.
Hindi ko naman masisisi si Lance. She is a real sweet girl, genuinely nice. Pwede ko din siyang maging bestfriend kung tutuusin. Pero ewan ko ba kung bakit kapit na kapit sa akin ang kasabihang 'three is a crowd'.
Sometimes I keep on thinking if what I feel is still normal. Minsan naiisip ko, bakit ba kailangan akong magselos na may girlfriend na si Lance. It's normal, right? Darating at darating yung ganitong panahon sa aming dalawa. Yung magka-bf ako at magka-gf siya. Kung sakaling ako kaya ang naunang magkaroon ng boyfriend, ano kayang mararamdaman ni Lance? Ganito din kaya siya kalungkot sa akin? Napailing na lang ako sa mga naiisip ko.
It's Wednesday today and we have a prayer meeting. Due to the upcoming season of Valentine's Day, we - the singles, are going to start the series of our Discipleship training, and my first task is to discuss how we should keep ourselves be still in God in the midst of Love-trials.
Shocks! Hindi ko pa talaga alam ang gagawin. Ano ba ang malay ko sa love-life na yan kung isang napakaling ZERO ng love life ko? Matinding research and surveys ang gagawin ko nito.
When the evening came, our family went to church. I was surprised to see that Shania is with Lance and his family. It's the first time I have seen her with them during service. By the looks of it, people have been shaking their hands which means he already introduced her as his girlfriend. He looks very pleased with people's recognition and acceptance. Shania must be really feeling proud.
I wonder how it feels to be in her position. What if I am the one who is with him? Wait! What? What did I just think about?
With that thought, I felt my nerves in haywire. My heartbeat is racing so fast with a feeling of needle piercing it. Even the pulses of my brain made abnormal rates.
"Baby, are you ok?" My thoughts were interrupted by my mom. "You kinda look.. I don’t know.. ill? You're pale. What's the matter? Do you feel sick?"
I really don't know what I look right now. But if I am as transparent outside as what I feel inside, then definitely, I look awful.
"Uhm. No Mom. I just probably need a drink. My throat hurts. You go and sit. I'll follow suit." Halos manginig ang mga kamay ko na inihahawak ko sa pendant ng necklace na suot ko. Ugh! What's wrong with me?
Nag-aalalang tumingin sa akin ang mommy at daddy. "Don't be long. The service is about to start." I nodded in response to dad. I walked through the pantry to get some drinks. I feel my palms are sweating.
Nakasalubong ko ang isa sa mga makukulit at malapit kong kaibigan sa church. Kasing-edad ko din siya.
"Hi Lynette! Where to?"
"Just in the pantry. Nauhaw ako bigla."
"Oh ok. Sige, samahan na kita. Sabay na tayo bumalik." He said and smiled at me.
"Sige, Kulit, ikaw bahala." Yun na lang naisagot ko sa kanya. We went there and I took some drinks. Somehow, it calmed my nerves.
On our way back to the hall, nagkukwentuhan lang kami ng kaibigan ko.
"By the way, I saw Lance earlier. Nakabalik na pala siya. And with a beautiful girlfriend pa." Mukha itong amaze na amaze. Feeling ko, sinamaan na nanaman ako ng pakiramdam. At gusto ko nang bilisan maglakad ng maiwan siya. But of course, I won't do that.
"Yah. He's back. And don't tell me crush mo gf niya, lagot ka! Saka, naku hindi ka papatulan ni Shania. Eto siya, eto ka." Biro ko dito habang itinataas ang kamay ko mas mataas pa sa ulo niya pagkatapos ay ibinaba hanggang baba ng tuhod niya.
"Ouch." Sabay sapo sa dibdib. "Ayan ka eh. Ang lakas makapanlait. Wag ganun. Wag masyado magselos. Ikaw lang laman ng puso ko." Ganting biro nito sa akin.
Natawa ako at bahagyang nahampas siya sa braso. "Diyan ka nanaman sa mga banat mong nakakaloka. Crazy."
"Tama. Baliw ako kaya babaliwin kita at maloloka ka sa pagmamahal ko kaya sagutin mo na ako Lynette." Maramdamin pang saad nito.
"Haay naku. Baliw na talaga. Sige na. Nakita ko na sila Mommy. Dun ka na sa family mo." Sabay tulak ko ng marahan sa kanya. Tinatawanan lang siya nito.
"Wait! Kiss ko." Ngumuso pa ito. Baliw talaga.
"Just go, elf. Magsisimula na yung service." Napailing-iling na lang ako. That guy is really crazy. He is the closest friend I got after Lance went to States. He is not courting me. Although from time to time, he goes on pestering me and professing his undying love. Which I believe all are just a joke. Maloko at kalog talaga yun kaya nagkasundo kami ng sobra. He always make me laugh especially when he sees me sad or just plain quiet.
Nakalapit na ako sa pwesto namin nila Mommy at Daddy. Nasa may bandang likuran pala namin sila Lance. Kumaway ako sa kanila. I notice Lance didn't even shoot me a glance which made me pout a little.
"Ano kayang problema nun?" I murmured to myself. I decided to shrugged it off. Baka naman di lang talaga ako nakita ni Lance. Pero nakita ako ni Shania at nila Tita! Imposibleng di niya ako napansin!
Nilingon ko ulit si Lance at hindi ko mapigilan na matalim siyang tingnan. That's when I saw him looking at me. But he made so much effort to try to hide it and looked away.
Ok. What was that?
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BINABASA MO ANG
From the Start
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