DPS oneshots

Anderperry- 18th Birthday

Hey this is my first oneshot book so give me some feedback on it! :)

Warning this one is gonna be angsty sorry Anderperry fans. It also mentions "that scene" so read with caution.

It's my birthday today. I always hated my birthday. Every year my parents would ignore me and send some lame ass excuse for a gift. Take a guess what I got this year. The same fucking desk set. I try to just pass it by as the same situation as last year but I can't. There's only one thing on my mind this year.

Neil.

It's been about 11 months since Neil died. I can't help but think about him every day. I see any mundane item and he's the first thing I think of. Poetry. Neil used to read poetry with us. A typewriter. Neil forged a letter so he could act on a typewriter. A soccer ball. Neil played soccer with us.

I know that those are things that normal people do so of course he did them but I can't help it. He died and all he left was sad memories and missed opportunities. He could've grown up and been an actor. I could write poetry and he could've acted it out. We could've been happy together.

The worst thing he ever did was leave me without saying goodbye. He knew how much I cared about him. Every kiss we sneaked when we were alone, every hug, even every small touch was filled with so much love. And he just had to leave it all. Maybe that's why he didn't say goodbye. Maybe he couldn't handle the fact that he had to leave me. He had to do it on his terms and couldn't have anything holding him back. Whatever the reason was I wish he had at least left a note.

But here I am. Alone and sad on my 18th birthday, staring at this fucking desk set. I decided to do the only thing that made sense. I walked out to the same spot on the pathway where Neil found me a year ago today. I stood there with the brisk wind slapping my face and I chucked it. I chucked the desk set as far and as hard as my arm would let me. I watched it crash to the ground and just broke down.

I felt my salty tears burn down my cold face as I stood there all alone. How could Neil do this? How could he fucking do this? It's been almost a year and I still can't forgive him. I don't think I ever will. He knew this would crush us and he still did it. He was always the kind of person who did something after they made up their mind but this? This was just an easy way out for him. And we got the shit end of the stick.

I just want to be with him right now. I just want him to hold me in his arms and recite poetry to me. I want him to whisper it into my ear while everyone's sleeping. I want him to kiss me quick and spoon me all night. Then I'd wake up early and go back to my bed before someone busts into our room before class. I miss that. Even though it was hard to be discreet about our relationship I wouldn't trade it for anything. I would rather be with him in hiding all my life then be with some random lady I can't even love.

But here I am. Sad and alone. On my 18th birthday.