The Search | BTS (Kids-Teens)

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Teacher Chang took notice of how small Yoongi's hand felt in his today. As they stepped into the lift to reach Jin's apartment, Teacher Chang took in the sight of Yoongi's thin body pressed against his in the mirror. The boy who usually acted all big, tough and strong looked especially small and vulnerable today.

"You're going to stay here with Yoongi, right?" Jin asked when they reached his front door.

Again, Teacher Chang took a mental note of how Yoongi responded to Jin's question by looking up expectantly at his caseworker. "Yes I am." Teacher Chang replied. "I'll stay here until you go to bed."

He expected Yoongi to reject him and tell him, I am doing fine on my own. I am a big boy. I don't need you to stay next to me as if I am four years old. Because that's how Yoongi always responded. That was how Yoongi betrayed himself over and over; he'd give up his own needs because he wanted to be strong. He always wanted to feel brave. And Yoongi believed that as long as he didn't need anyone's help, it meant that he was strong and brave. Teacher Chang had been determined to change that belief, and he held his breath while waiting for Yoongi to respond.

To his pleasant surprise, Yoongi only hugged him without saying a word. Somehow, it made his heart ache so intensely to feel Yoongi's body shaking underneath his huge T-shirt.

*******

"Mom, Dad, this is Yoongi. I believe you have met him before." Jin took the initiative to kick-start the conversation. Now, they were all seated in the living room. Mother and Father sat side by side on the sofa while Yoongi sat on a smaller armchair next to Teacher Chang's armchair. Jin eventually took his seat next to his mother.

Mother gave a smile. "Hi, Yoongi. Are you hungry? We will have lunch in a bit, once all the introductions are done."

Yoongi looked around and noticed that the family had specially cleaned up their living room and added an extra armchair (the one he was sitting on). He glanced over at the meal table and saw that there were six places instead of just four - two extra places were set for Teacher Chang and Yoongi. He recognised how the table setting consisted of identical plates and utensils. It made him feel like he was really part of the family. It made him feel as if he had come home from a long day at school and was going to have a meal with his family.

It made him feel like he had a place at a dinner table at last, without automatically getting a shorter end of the stick. It made him feel like an equal for the very first time.

Yoongi felt his heart beginning to race.

He wanted to stand up, rush up front to the couple, throw himself in their embrace and say, "Mommy, Daddy, I'm home."

He wanted to ask them, "Are you happy to see me?"

He wanted to know, "Are you happy that I'm home?"

He wanted to question, "Did you miss me?"

He wanted to say, "I don't really know you, but do you remember me?"

But he couldn't say a word. Yoongi just clammed up and stayed completely quiet as he leaned in closer to Teacher Chang, the only safe adult he had ever known. He wondered right there and then if the couple in front of him, his said parents, were going to be safe adults for him.

He wondered if he was in a safe house. A house where he would never have to worry about being thrown out of the door when he woke up in the morning. A house where he would never have to go hungry. A house where he would never have to be afraid about being beaten up for false accusations against him. A house where he could go to sleep at night knowing he would wake up the next morning safe and sound. A house where he would have blankets in the winter and a fan in the summer.