Into My Heart

XXVIII

Never have I been so nervous.

The bridge was empty, as most people were either at school, working or sleeping. The morning lights were orange and yellow, with some peaks of pink, and were illuminating the whole beach. When I first step onto the bridge - which was half-an-hour ago, since I like to be in advance, helps me keep my composure - I did not notice how quiet the morning has been. But now that I am standing there, at the edge of the bridge, staring at the sun slowly going up the sky, I feel its own power, that contrasts with my utter despair. Indeed, while the sun was free and would rise above the clouds and shine its whole brilliance, I would be much like the mood, solitary and discrete, rising when most of the world would not see her, in the middle of the night. 

When I heard footsteps tapping the ground softly, I would feel my heart taking up twice that speed, as my mind ran errands: something about thinking of her would just make me numb, and make me think that I would do anything for her, to save her - which was even more difficult when it meant losing her. But everything's so crazy: I've only known her for months, barely talked to her all things considered, and she has this effect on me? How is that even possible? Is it all in my head?

I lean against the barrier, my eyes staring at the water under my feet. There was a soft wind brushing through my hair, and nobody but me, her, and the painful confession that I was obliged to make.

She stops, and also adopts the same position I am in but, instead of staring at the water, she would only plant her eyes on me. When her voice raises, it is with utter control and softness, although some sort of worry can also be guessed:

"I don't get it: why do you wanna see me now?"

I set my jaw, blurting out those painful words:

"We cannot see each other anymore, Abby..."

Bizarrely enough, the blonde starts smirking. When I turn my head toward her, I could swear my heart would've flown for just a brief instant when her smirk turned into an honest, beautiful laugh - a laugh of pure despair.

I frown, and she catches that, as her eyes catch mine.

"Why are you laughing?" I ask, confused.

"Oh, because I saw your mom before coming here" she explains herself, and her eyes, despite her continuing laughter, take on a darker light. As I am about to just insult Mother out loud, she quickly continues: "She told me you were to announce your engagement in a matter of days, and that I should convince you that it was for the best."

"I can't believe her..." I start, immediately feeling hurt to the core.

Obviously, she knew how much it meant for me to end things the right way with Abby - end whatever was going on between us, although I couldn't even define it myself - and she just blew my chance.

As I am just staring at the water again, she softly smiles.

"Honestly" she then says, forcing me to look at her again, "you mom's a bitch."

Somehow, she managed to make me crack a smile although I was burning in the inside. She also joins in with her own smile, as I just shook my head.

"Wait" I suddenly realize, as the words hit me, "she never mentioned an engagement though..."

"Anyway" Abby expressively says, catching me off guard as she turns around and leans her back against the barrier, crossing her arms against her chest. I could sense that she was hurt, as she continues: "The problem is that I don't buy this whole engagement shit: I mean, I haven't known you that long, I know, but that doesn't seem like you."

I nod.

"Mother thought I would-" I start, but I stop, feeling the ground falling under my feet.