Hiding Behind The Music - Lilly's Soundtrack

Hiding Behind The Music - Prologue

Hiding Behind the Music [Lilly's Soundtrack] - Prologue

Life is an unspoken melody of pure music. Wherever you go, whatever happens, there is a song to join you. Whether it is sad, a love song or just a crazy, upbeat, dance 'til you drop song. No matter what, music is by your side holding on throughout the highs and lows of your own personal life; it reflects you and never abandons you.

Abandonment.

With a word such as that I instantly feel the Goosebumps rise on my skin as a low tempo and dreary tune reverberates through me. At the thought of abandonment I think of my guitar, Vida, in my hand and the notes that would fill the air, I imagine the misery.

When I think of abandonment I think of me.

My life story cannot be said without abandonment, it is a part of me. A secret name, a secret label, a thought to be secret that is mentioned between soft whispers as I pass, "The abandoned."

I am the abandoned.

That's my life in a nut shell, my whole life I've been dropped, left and pushed aside and still today that's my life. It isn't a rough patch or a minor setback, it isn't temporary, it is my reality.

Everything in my life has deserted me, except music.

Music clings to each and every one of us. Music is life; it is the colors of the world. Music can be as simple as the sound of a dripping tap to the outrageously mind blowing sound of rock. It is everywhere and it cannot abandon you.

Music has always been my oxygen since I can remember, as if it was downloaded into my very being, my biology. It clings to my skin, it lulls into my thoughts and my very body can create it, can be a part of it.

Music is the only thing in this life and after life that will not leave. You can lose your earring, your dog, you can lose a loved one, you can lose oxygen, you can even lose yourself. But music is there, as if it is you.

Music is my sanctuary; it always knows just what I need. A sad miserable song to provoke tears so that I can move forward, an upbeat pop song to let me sing when I last a full day without thinking of who I was or who I could have been and even a angst song so I can scream at the sky for all those who forced me into a secluded corner with only me and my iPod.

My iPod holds the key to survival; it held the soundtrack to my life. I don't reflect on my life through objects, when I see a photo I don't say, "Oh, remember when...?" But when I hear a song I can pin point it, I can associate it, every song tells a story.

I like to think that along every step of the way in my life there is a song that sums everything up, maybe even more than one song.

This is the soundtrack to my life, this is my song.

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