I am just a box

January

The world was black for only a moment

1/12/2016

I feel sick. I collapsed in front of the door. When I woke up I was in my room. My temperature is 123°. Everyone's worried.

1/16/2016

I've been too sick to write anything. My fever's last a long time... I've been sick for almost a week. I'm behind on my studies too. Kizami came in and gave me pudding... I like pudding...

I didn't want to listen to anything so I went back to sleep, but now that I'm awake again I don't know what to do. Im too lazy to walk and I just want to... I want to forget everything. Everythig that happened a year ago.

I wanted to forget so badly.

1/22/2016

I feel much better now. I'm going to have to go to school again, just so I won't be lonely. School isn't hard. I get good grades without any effort, but when I get home I try to cry to myself all day. What would it be like to be turned chibi...

Everyone's gone. The large house that I haven't fully explored yet is yelling me to go out and find someone to be friends with. A lady knocked on the door suddenly. I didn't know if I should open it or not. The lady stopped knocking and then I heard voices outside the door. My phone gave a couple beeps meaning someone texted me. It said to go to my room and hide for a while. I didn't know what was going on but I left anyway.

The lady at the front door is gone, and Kizami came home early. He laughed a lot when he did. It made the world seem less gloomy at least.

1/24/2016

I'm lonely. I'm very lonely. I don't like school or people or anything at least... Do you know what I haven't done? I haven't smacked anyone across the face yet. I don't like the outside world. Can I just crawl up into a ball and die? I want to just leave. Isolate myself. That girl... Saya, I don't like her. She's mean. She's annoying and mean and doesn't care about anything, just herself and her stupid popularity.

Here's what happened.

I walked opened the classroom door and guess who was standing there. Saya.

"Oh, great, _____ you have to finish this before schools gets out today. Don't make an excuse to skip classes though that would be bad for you." Saya then walked straight past me and joined her dumb clique of girls screaming and gossiping.

I looked at the list of chores. Seemed simple enough. It was only a tenth of it though. The list looked as if it could stretch a mile. I looked at the end of the list cluttered at my feet, surprised about this a little. Why was I roped into doing the student council's dirty work?

Then I thought back to last year.

1/25/2016

I had to run home yesterday. I stayed back after school just long enough for me to be home before anyone else came come making it look like I didn't stay back so long. I don't want o worry anyone now, they already have their own problems.

"_____, want some tea?" Shin asked as I settled on the sofa. It was early in the morning and time to run out the door for I was late for school. I was too sleepy and lazy though. My stomach felt as if it would start eating itself and my head felt hot. Shin could already tell I was sick.

I nodded my head and waited.

"Don't go to school today, alright." That was all he could say before patting me ok the head and runnin out the door.

The tea was very warm...

1/28/2016

I'm still sick.

The room is spinning a little.

I'm tired. Very tired.

1/28/2016

I think I'll go to school today. I still have a few things to do on the list and I wasn't allowed to run away from these chores because of the deal I made.

When I walked through the front gates however a paper airplane hit me in the face. I had to walk to school alone that day because I left later than everyone else.

The paper airplane fell to the floor with a small tap and a wrinkled tip. There was writing inside, but I ignored it thinking it was for someone else.

1/29/2016

I have another fever. On top of that I haven't seen anyone smile in days. My head hurts too much.

1/30/2016

It's almost February. It's a Sunday too. No one is working today and everyone is at home. I fell ittle better now because there are cheery people everywhere, but that didn't make me crack a smile yet.

Everyone seemed to act normal yet caring at the same time around me. I still was sick. But I liked it like that. No one was getting too worried. Shin and Kizami argued like babies over the cake and Yuuta kept me company while they made noise. Then something fell suddenly, from upstairs and startled me that I jumped onto Yuuta. He smells like cologne.

After Shin and Kizami checked what happened, then came back down and told us it was just a few books and stuff. I was asleep however.

1/31/2016

No one went to school today. Everyone was too tired to put up with it. I was awake and feeling a little better however so I wandered around the house alone, for everyone was asleep.

The halls were very empty yet so vast I felt I was getting lost in a clear open space. The house had three floor and I never explored the third floor, I never had the time to.

I looked up at the ominous stairs. It looked very dark up there. I didn't want to go up alone but if I were to poke and prod I would have to do it alone.

I went up the stairs, one step at a time. Slowly, I went up and slowly I began getting out of breath. This happens to me a lot. As I reached the top of the stairs, I lost my balance and fell backwards. As soon as my head slammed against the rug on the bottom, the wind was knocked out of me and I was gasping for air as I fell unconscious.