𝟑𝟎 𝐃𝐀𝐘𝐒 | semishira!

𝐃𝐚𝐲 𝟏.

TW: mentions of suicide 

Grief was an ocean. It swallowed you up into the depths of the water and you drowned you in your own emptiness. It was quiet at the bottom of the ocean. Quiet and empty, I sat at the bottom as all my hopes disappeared above. My happiness, your light. What did real life feel like again? I had lost myself so far in my own ocean that I didn't remember. 

"Smash it bash it into pieces! Smash what? Their heart, until it ceases! So it can't be fixed with adhesives! Take it away!"  In front of me, stood my best friend Tendou Satori. 

"Are you making up another stupid song?" I asked. The red head turned around with a playful smile on his lips. 

"Just answer the question!" he giggled. I rolled my eyes, a small smile playing on my lips. 

"Their...blocks?" 

"Until their spirits decreases...!" I laughed as Tendou finished his song. 

"So what did you make that one up for?" 

"When we go to nationals and when I'm finally dating Ushiwaka obviously!" 

"Right..." He never notices, does he? One day I'll write you a song, Tendou. A song that will show you I'm here too...

                                                                                      ❝Day 1❞
                                                                                 ─30 Days
                                                  ━━⋆⋅°✧⋅━━━┫⋅✩⋅┣━━━⋅✧°⋅⋆━━
                                                         1:05 ───⊙─────── 3:58
                                                                                   ↻ ◁ II ▷ ↺
                                                          playιng: listen before i go -Billie Eilish
                                                                    volυмe : ▁▂▃▄▅▆▇▉

"Semi?"

"Huh?" Shirabu's calming voice snapped me back to reality. "Oh...hey Shirabitch..." My head pounded. I looked out the window of the car I found myself in and the events of the past hour hit me like a truck. I was going to jump...I was going to dive off of that building until Shirabu stopped me. I could still hear the wind, and feel my hair falling softly on my ears as I looked down. I could still see the cars and people, how tiny they looked. They looked like ants from up there...

"Don't call me that," Shirabu smirked as he continued driving, placing his hand on my thigh. I didn't think much of it, he was just trying to comfort me. It's what people do when they find put the boy you loved died and left you alone in the world. Why didn't Shirabu let me join him...? 

"What are you doing?" a voice said from the dark. I turned around from the cars I was watching to find the peach-haired, weird banged boy in front of me. Why was he here...? 

"How did you get here so fast?"

"That doesn't matter. Please, Semi, don't jump."

"I..." a wet tear slipped down my cheek. "I can't anymore. He's the reason I....I...."

"Learn to walk again," Shirabu urged.

"What the hell do you know, Shirabu, huh? Has the one person you cared about just...died on you? Did you watch them suffer and make all the wrong decisions because they didn't know any better? Did you watch them hurt themselves in front of you and...and..." I broke down, slumping to the ground. "I don't want to be alive anymore..." The peach-haired boy kneeled down and pulled me into a warm hug.

"Yeah...I do...and he'd better not jump off that building."

"Wha-?" The banged boy cupped my face.

"I've loved you for two years, Semi, but all you saw was Tendou! I watched you fall for him...fall for his...his trap. He never saw you! HE NEVER LOVED YOU! He- HE LEFT YOU! All I could do was watch from afar..."

"I...I don't know what to say...I'm sorry." He loved me? How could someone love a person as broken as me?

"Just...give me 30 days. To show you I love you. Stay alive for 30 days, Okay? You don't have to love me back but...let me be here for you."        

"Okay..."

I couldn't stop the tears that were slipping from my cheeks as Shirabu parked his car at the apartment. I got out of the car followed by Shirabu. The night sky was full of stars. 

Is Satori there with them?

Is he free from the pain?

After observing the sky for a while, Shirabu led me up the stairs outside that lead to his small apartment. Apparently his parents were away for the holiday, leaving us alone. Shirabu's apartment was dim when we stepped inside. I slipped off my shoes and trudged inside, it was neat as always. I was too tired to admire the books neatly stocked on their shelves, or the beautiful kitchen island. Instead, I made my way to Shirabu's bedroom that I had been in too many times to count. The comforter was soft as a buried my head inside, as I buried my tears. I ignored the buzz of my phone, which was the result of the countless calls from my parents and teammates. I let it all drown away in sleep. I ignored the warmth of Shirabu as he climbed into bed and hugged me. I ignored it all until I fell into a deep slumber.