Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
When I had finally dressed and left, Hvitserk close behind me, I paid no attention at the looks that I'd received. In truth, I didn't care. I felt as though I'd been born again, as if I was a new person. The problems of this world could no longer affect me because I felt as if I'd finally found my way into the heavens - as if nothing could hurt me anymore.
When I opened up the old church doors, the wooden frames creaking as we made our way inside, Hvitserk sat beside his brothers while I folded my arms and remained standing beside the table. They were discussing strategies as always but I found my mind wandering from the task at hand, in a way that it had never done before.
"And then we make our way to Kattegat." Ivar glanced over at his older brothers, and I wasn't sure whether his words were a question or an order. The pair seemed to agree with whatever he'd been saying, and I found myself giving a small nod as I stepped forwards.
"I've decided to come with you," I explained to the three brothers - not having to look over at him to see the smile that spread over Hvitserk. Ivar also seemed pleased with the idea that I would be accompanying them. "I cannot force my men to join you too, but I will bring a small number to aid as best I can."
"What changed your mind?" Ivar questioned, blue eyes narrowing as he glanced between Hvitserk and I. "The last we spoke, you had to return to your kingdom."
A crimson blush flushed my cheeks, a small smile creeping into my lips as I looked back at Hvitserk, still daydreaming of the night before. "Well, why let the boys have all the fun?" I answered finally, but I was certain that everyone in the room knew the true reason.
The ice queen's stone heart had melted and been replaced with love. And, for the first time in over a decade, I didn't feel the pain of my past so harshly. It was almost like a miracle - some magic that even I didn't understand.
It made sense. In all the books I'd read, the only force strong enough to defeat magic was, after all, love.
And I was quite certain by now that love was exactly what I was feeling. Love had broken the curse that had been placed upon me - a curse that I would always be alone. And finally I found myself at peace again.
The following days were similar still. Each night, Hvitserk would leave the church and join me again. I was always grateful for the company, and the way he made me feel whole again. In fact, the rare occasions where he remained with his brothers, I couldn't help but feel utterly lonely. I wasn't sure if it was a new feeling, or just a sense of loneliness that I'd always had but never noticed until I felt the warmth of Hvitserk's company.
One night, however, my feelings were more than loneliness.
As I tossed and turned in bed, all I could see were visions of Hvitserk and Ubbe - of Saxons too. I could feel their pain, the cold edge of a blade tilting up my chin. And I knew that it was more than just a dream, more than some distant prophecy even.
As I started awake, breathing rugged and a pain in my chest, I paid no time to properly dress or even throw on shoes. I wrapped one of my warm furs around my shoulders, and raced outside into the black night.
The moon shone above, a waxing crescent, with glittering stars dancing beside it like an ensemble of accompanying musicians on the moon's big show. She smiled down at me, her blue light guiding my way through the darkness as I ran towards the old church. One part of me knew that I should be quiet, but I was far too panicked to pay attention to the little voice in my mind.
With a small slam, the door jolted open, and my green eyes darted around the room in search of the brothers. Nowhere. They were nowhere to be seen. And, just as I was about to turn and sprint towards the battlements and away from York in search of them, my eyes met the familiar blue of the youngest Ragnarsson.
Ivar sat, arms folded, staring over at me wit a curious expression - watching as I searched the room for some small sign of Hvitserk. But nothing was to be found.
"They've gone to talk to the Saxons?" He spoke calmly, knowing exactly what I was thinking. He was by no means a fool, an it was clear that he'd also long since figured out what his big brothers were up to.
I frowned, knowing the outcome of this would not be good. Ubbe had made a mistake going to the Saxons, we'd both warned him as much. But Hvitserk? I doubted that this was his idea - or in fact a plan that he had much faith in at all. "They're in trouble Ivar, I saw it."
Though he tried to hide the small look of concern that crossed his face for a moment, he wasn't fast enough to hide it from me. Though he pretended to have a heart of stone, I knew he cared for his brothers a great deal - certainly more than he would ever admit.
"They made their choice." He answered coldly, glaring daggers over at me.
"But what if they're hurt-"
"You mean, what if Hvitserk gets himself killed?" Ivar eyed me up, as if he was the one who could see into my mind. Sometimes I thought that it was likely that he could. It wouldn't surprise me if he was a witch, considering how much he always seemed to know. "They won't kill him, they're too afraid of us." He reassured, narrowing his gaze at me as if he was still trying to figure me out fully. "Do you love him?"
His words reminded me of our conversation only a month before. Of how he asked me, of how I simply couldn't answer because the words hurt me too much. But, in that moment, I didn't care about duty. I didn't care about who I was forced to be, or what I was forced to do. "Yes," I answered, glassy eyes from tiny tears. "I love him. More than anything."
Ivar gave a smile - and I couldn't tell if it was genuine, or whether something else was going on behind his eyes. But something told me it was real. Something told me that, despite everything, he loved his brother too. More than anything.
"He still doesn't deserve you."
I smiled, wiping away my tears with a small sniffle as I took a seat beside him. "Not if he's gone to make peace with the Saxons, no." I answered flatly, making him crack a grin. The both of us sat there in silence, until the darkness slowly turned to dawn. And finally, we were created with the brothers' return.
