The Final Chapter

Chapter 3

I woke up in the morning relieved that I didn't have to go to school so I could do whatever I wanted. I got dressed in my usual T-shirt and jeans with a jacket. I first checked my computer to see if there was any new news about the wide-ranging suicides happening frequently but there was none so I decided to finally read "The Saddest Story" that I bought almost a week ago and couldn't touch since for some reason I related it closely to my friends death. I decide to have a picnic at the lake so I pack some chips, cookies, a soda, and a thermos of soup since it was cold outside. I start walking, deciding I wanted to take the shorter route and just spend the day reading my book and quite possibly finishing it. I get to the lake and find a spot that is in the sun and what little warmth it offers on this chilly day. I open the book and right away I could tell this book would have a sad ending just by looking at the title page, It was a purplish black that just looked ominous then you add on the fact that there were ink stains that gave the impression of blood splattered across the ground. I turned the page quickly as to not see the disturbing page and then come to chapter one. I think to myself that's odd Iris usually has a dedication to a couple people and her fans I start reading the book the first words making me feel cold and hollow yet it remains so captivating that I can't resist turning the page to see what will happen next. From what I can gather from the first two pages is that this is a tale about Iris' heart break and the betrayal she feels toward her ex and the world for not staying steady and constant. It reverberates with power and talks of the abuse she experienced as a child and even as a female author. By the end of the first chapter out of the thirty-two I could tell it was a persuasive book and the entire point was to get you to kill yourself. I feel all my will power to survive as if it were being bashed against glass. I couldn't breathe. I felt... lost. I sink into unconsciousness only two pages into the second chapter and don't wake up until the sun was setting over the treetops. I dash home not wanting my mom to be mad that I was late and as I run through the streets I remember the utter loss of meaning that book made me feel. I thought of it as a kind of bully except on a much larger and sinister level. I make it home and walk in to an empty house so I decide to take a shower in relative peace with no one to tell me to turn off the water when I took more than five minutes. I get out of the shower and realize I left the book on the floor and now it was unreadable. For some reason I felt dead inside except for a deep yearning to read the book again and lose all focus of whatever else I needed to do. I heard the door open after what felt like hours of looking at the remains of "The Saddest Story" and snap back to reality thankful I wasn't going to finish the book. Then it dawned on me, what if the book is the reason that people are resorting to suicide, what if Iris wanted to get revenge for the printing press' refusal to publish her book. I can't believe that I was so blind as to not realize that the book could be the thing causing the suicides but who will believe a fifteen year old boy that a book is the cause of the suicides. I get on my computer and pull up iris' site seeing how many books have been sold so far and stop when I see the astonishing number at roughly four billion, that is half the worlds population, and if everyone who bought the book eventually gets around to reading the book the world is going to be without most of it's teenagers and young adults who are the future and would power the world. I am aghast that anyone will be so persuasive as to convincing someone to kill themselves especially when those people had it made, like Allissa. I remember what it felt like to read those first couple of pages and even at how bad it was it didn't convince me to do anything rash. I give up on the puzzle and decide to see if my favorite website is talking about normal things again so I log into 4chan.org from my laptop and go to all the different boards, but even /s4s/ was still raving about the suicides. I plug in my USB instead and decide to play Halo from the multiple games I have downloaded from steam. As I wait for the game to load I get out of my chair and look out my window and see the drab gray of coming rain and see my mom leaving the apartment with an umbrella and some cash in hand. I just ignore her hoping she was going to the store and not to buy some drugs she is so fond of. I hear music and turn to see that my game has loaded and sit down to play it but it freezes when I barely get to the profile screen and I go to the bookshelf instead. I pull out Iris' first book "Live or Die" and start reading. When I first read this book it gave me feelings of great elation and joy but now I read it like I would read any other book and wonder where did Iris' talent go, the feeling of flying and the ecstasy of realizing that I do matter and should fight to survive, but now those feelings are all gone. As I read through the story it seemed like every other with no distinguished characteristics. I am completely thrown off by this since I was expecting a great story that made me feel great about myself but instead all I got was a book that was like any other, that was, quite frankly, a boring read. All the emotions tied to the books were gone and I wondered what made the diffrence of reading it back then and now. I sit back but bounce back up almost immediately at the sound of my mom coming back into the house laden with groceries. "Ren help with these please" said my mom and I reply "yes ma'am" I walk out there and we unpack the groceries into the fridge and pantry. "It was cold outside today I almost didn't go" panted my mother as she started taking off all her coats I wasn't there to reply I had holed up in my room again just staring at a wall not wanting to start a fight with my mom right now. I decide to take a nap and hopefully I will wake up after my mom goes to bed so I can go cook dinner for myself I wake up at five a.m. so I get up and eat a big breakfast since I skipped dinner last night. I slip out of the house and start walking to school even though I normally ride the bus because for some reason I just didn't want to deal with my mom. I probably should write a letter I think to myself even though I know that usually my mom wouldn't care because she's high on something or other. I am shivering even though I'm wearing my jacket and my breath crystallizes in front of me as I breathe, I take a left next to the grocery store and head in the general direction of downtown even though my school is the opposite direction because I want to go to the book store. I reach the store but it is closed which I should've realized because it was five-thirty a.m. I head back on to the street that will take me straight to the school and keep on walking and I start hearing, no feeling a strong voice in my head to go and smash my head into a concrete wall. It came upon me so furiously that I collapsed onto the sidewalk. I stayed in that position for around five minutes, according to my watch, of being stuck on the ground not willing to move as two primal forces fight inside me, my will to survive and my yearning to give up. I keep walking as if nothing  happened later I see one of my friends about a block and call "hey prakat wait up" as I start running towards him. He stops to wait for me and when I catch up we set off towards the school together and he says "so what do you think of those suicides?" I remember that he lost a girlfriend in one of the waves of suicides that have been occuring. I answer with a question of my own "did she own a copy of "The Saddest Story" "Yeah" he says knowing I meant his girlfriend "I bought it for her myself at the bookstore around two fridays ago" I then ask "did you buy a copy for yourself "no all my money I saved up went towards her book" "well you're going to think I'm insane but the fact is I think the book is the reason your girlfriend died" I respond. I then show him the copy of the book I bought and allow him to just look at the title page. "Well that is definitely disconcerting but why would it drive someone to suicide" he asks me looking straight into my eyes and I tell him as evenly as I could "I read until chapter two and I have already had to stop myself from the urge to kill myself twice once just now I was writhing on the ground wanting to bash my head into it so hard I don't even feel the blood pouring down my face and if you think I'm lying go ahead you read those two haunting chapters I'm not so sure you would succeed in keeping yourself alive since you are still heartbroken over your girlfriend." I'm sure I have overstepped my bounds and he just stares at me for a while as we walk and he finally says "I believe you."